- Vignette #1: (from Jim) Phonetic "words" to: Xaipe Alpha Delta Phi
Xaire Alpha Delta Phi
Kaire Alpha Delta Phi
I siona thal own
Oux annoy ah duna mai
Catha punta nay comb
Zela Nay, tic tomanay
Oustrom kai may mai rown
Melpsu menu frajunay
Human asmah phi drome
Antha day cal leopai
Simp mu psi mu sione
Nai a tai an suna fay
Amos preos tray phone
Refrain . . .
Nagus cagus cagathu
I siona stay sone
ara omen su aru
are omen que dome
Refrain . . .
- Vignette #2: (from Oreon) [Ed. Note: "Oreon" refers to Doug Winter whose middle name and nickname throughout his time with us in the late 50s/early 60s is/was Oreon.] Here's an idiotic "Steve North" story: He had a martini-drinking contest with Dave Uscheek (and lost, of course). We had to carry him back to the frat house and put him to bed in the (back) green bedroom. As I recall, he didn't come out of the room for a day and a half. I pulled what was probably the most sadistic trick I ever pulled on anyone, and took a martini glass, filled it with water, put an olive in it, and placed it by his bedside to see when he woke up.
- Vignette #3: (from Harry) I see that my dunking in the Wade park Lagoon was well documented in the pictures on the Photo Album Pages. Did you know that was during the lunch time of the day that I taught my first Physics Lab section? I remember Steve North running into the room shouting, "Let's throw Harry Kautz in the Lagoon!" I protested that I had to go and teach a lab that afternoon. He said, "We'll get you back in time for that." So I figured, "What the Hell! I might as well get it over with." I remembered being carried down Bellflower past the print shop and the African American girls looking out the window at me. I think I managed a wave as we went by. You know the rest!
- Vignette #4: (from Harry) Do you know that Doug Winter was carried down to the Lagoon for the same purpose? When he got down to the lagoon, he was seated down at the side to wait while some discussions ensued. He got so exasperated by the waiting that he just jumped in. Can't blame him, I suppose.
- Vignette #5: (from Harry) Speaking of the African American girls above reminds me: The picture in the Album Pages of Cynthia with Christ Koconis and I reminds me that she baked a cake for us for the last lunch of the school year. (She probably wanted to ensure being rehired in the fall.) Anyway, the event seemed to need some sort of ceremony, and I was, I think, Vice President at the time. Thus, I remember all of you trying to convince me that it would be proper for me to kiss Cynthia. I chickened out on that, but looking at the picture today, Cynthia doesn't look all that old. Today, I would probably give her that kiss.
- Vignette #6: (from Oreon) A "Jim Deibel story" could be about the time he borrowed Joe Ryan's car (the 50 Ford with the driver-side door that wasn't secure). For some damn reason, Jim and I used Joe's car to go back to my house and pick up my accordion. Going back to the fraternity house, I was sitting in the back seat of the car trying to play and sing "Red Rydie" verses while Jim drove. He turned down East Ninth Street (by Saint John's), then made a right turn onto the ramp going onto the Shoreway, just before the old stadium. The driver's door flew open and inertia pulled Jim out of the car, but still holding onto the steering wheel. That was all that kept him in the car. I was helpless in the back seat. Jim was able, with one arm, to pull himself back into the car (with his wrist locked, else the wheel would turn) and suffered a severe sprain, I'm sure. We might both have been pushing up daisies had he not been strong enough to pull himself back into the car without losing control of the steering wheel.
- Vignette #7: (from Joe R.) I remember a Red Rider who was, I believe a comic strip cowboy of the 50s. Did he also have a TV show? Were these Red Rider verses that Oreon recalls the various verses from the TV theme song, or were they verses of some sort that we made up as we cruised through university life? I don't remember my car having such a close call. Jim, is the story above accurate?
- Vignette #8: (from Jim) Actually, the borrowed Ford story is 100% accurate in description except for the part where we got on the freeway . . . it was actually at the West 28th Street entrance to the Main Avenue (West Shoreway) Bridge. The really scary part for me was that, although I did indeed have one foot in the car, it happened to be on the gas pedal and I kept accelerating through the turn. Fortunately, I was able to get back in and the rest went exactly as Doug described it.
- Vignette #9: (from Jim) And yes, it was Red Ridey or Red Ridy or whatever . . .
Red Ridey, Red Ridey, Red Rido
Red Ridey, Red Ridey, Red Rido
Red Ridey, Red Ridey, Red Ridey, Red Ridey
Red Ridey, Red Ridey, Red Rido
Verse I of an almost infinite number of verses--all of which were almost totally without any kind of social redemption:
An excavation colossal
Brought up a magnificent fossil
You could tell by the bend of the knob on the end
'twas the . . . dadada . . . of . . . dadada . . . the Apostle
Ay yi yi yi, in China they do it for Chile
So bring me another verse that's worse than the other verse
And waltz me around again, Willie.
- Vignette #10: (from Joe R) I wonder if these were the first verses of such songs dedicated to slick Willie . . . I only hope that Peter and Paul, the apostles, have a sense of humor.
- Vignette #11: (from Oreon) How soon we forget. See if this jogs your memory:
Red Rydie, Red Rydie, Red Rydo ...
Red Rydie, Red Rydie, Red Rydo ...
Red Rydie, Red Rydie ...
Red Rydie, Red Rydie ...
Red Rydie, Red Rydie, Red Rydo ...
There once was a man from Pawtuckit . . .
Whose . . . dadada . . . was so long, he could . . . dadada . . . it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear were a . . . dadada . . . I could . . . dadada . . . it!
Red Rydie, Red Rydie, Red Rydo ...
NOW DO YOU REMEMBER??
- Vignette #12: (from Joe R) Yes.
- Vignette #13:(from Harry) Who among you remembers the night when Joe Ryan, myself and Larry Yax were all studying at the fraternity house and Joe and I decided to play a little prank on Larry? Larry went out for something and he left a book open plus his pipe sitting on a night stand or small table next to a lamp in his room. A very cozy looking sight. While he was out, Joe and I disassembled everything and set up his cozy "site" out in the bullpen area. Larry came back, saw that we had set it up exactly as he had left it, and then took it with his usual good natured surprise. At that, Joe and I decided we couldn't just leave him like that and so we put everything back to the way it originally was -- in his room. We then looked at each other and wondered who the joke was really on!
- Vignette #14: (from Harry) We westsiders often traveled back and forth to school by Cleveland's "Rapid Transit" system. Larry Yax used to refer to this as "riding the rapids."
- Vignette #15: (from Harry) I don't recall ever using the greeting "Xaipe" as often as we do now! I used to get a laugh out of Russ Egolf by substituting "Yippee" for Xaipe. I could also get him going by substituting "friar" for "brother" when greeting the others, such as "Friar Szabo" or "Friar Ryan." It seems to me I would say those kinds of things if I had been drinking before a business meeting. . . . So Yippee for us, Friars!
- Vignette #16: (from Joe R.) My memory was of pronouncing "XAIPE" with a terrible "Khxchgh" sort of scratchy choking sound at the beginning--spit and all--that was not taken as a joke by some, such as Dan Ehlert, Don Miller, Russ Egolf or Jim Deibel. I think others started doing it periodically too, especially when we sang the song, "Xaire, Alpha Delta Phi," but will have to rely on the memory of others for that.
- Vignette #17: (from Oreon) A " Nick Romito" story might be about his 1957 Ford. It was a stick shift, and he delighted in tailgating people at a distance of about three feet between cars at 50 mph. He scared the shit out of those of us who rode with him.
- Vignette #18: (from Harry) Joe Ryan once asked me if I knew any Irish composers. I can now answer that question: John Field.
- Vignette #19: (from Harry) I was asked about the homecoming float with the red wagons. I told that story on Doug Winters's videotape, so let's see how that comes out. It's a very long story, so (hopefully) we can get it onto this page from the tape version even if the tape version isn't that good. Actually, I decided it was one of the two funniest experiences of my life--the other being banking notecards in the fifth grade. That fifth grade one has even less to do with fraternity life than Christ Koconis' transmission. (see below!)
- Vignette #20: (will come from Harry, the vidiotape or whomever/whatever) The Blue Streak/little red wagon escapade for homecoming.
- Vignette #21: (will have to come from Doug) His story about when he was rushed.
- Vignette #22: (from Harry) Seeing the picture of Christ Koconis near the kitchen reminds me of an event that took place back in the house on East 117th Street. Joe Szabo was the lunch steward (or whatever we called it). In true Joe Szabo style, he fired the cook and began preparing the lunches himself. On one particular day, Christ Koconis decided that he would help out by adding some cloves to the food. What happened was that the top of the clove container came off while he was pouring. We tasted lots of cloves in the food that day. Christ heard a lot about that for some time afterwards.
- Vignette #23: (from Oreon) In answer to the question: "Who was Dottie Stetz?" Dottie Stetz was also called "Sotty Detz" or the "Snuff Box" because she dated Tom Neff a lot and, as you might recall, his nick-name in the house was "Snuff." She was a nurse-in-training at University Hospitals in Scranton. About six of the guys in the house dated her. She was an attractive girl (easily, an eight!!), and the one time she went out with me, she sat on my lap at the fraternity house all night. We had a big chair just to the left of the fireplace under the mantel. I distinctly remember the "pleasant discomfort" of having
an erection for about four continuous hours.
- Vignette #24: (from Harry)
This one might only be remembered by Dan Ehlert, Joe Szabo, Russ Egolf and myself since it comes from the time that the three of us (Russ, Joe and me) were the only three remaining pledges.
Some of you might recall that our class was as large as eighteen at one time. Our Pledge Master was Bruce Jordan [shown to right as best remembered by former pledges]. Bruce ran a tight ship. During one pledge meeting--where pledges would stand at attention with heads turned to the left--one of our poor souls actually fainted. There was so much fear of the pledge master that not one of the other seventeen dared to break ranks or even turn his head.
- Vignette #25: (from Oreon) A "North-Romito" story is when they were together in Italian class, and Steve North was reciting/translating before the class and mispronounced the Italian word, "stanza" (it means "doorway," I think). He pronounced it as "strunza" (which means "shit") and Nick Romito burst out laughing. Steve didn't know what was going on, and the professor was pissed.
- Vignette #26: (from Joe R.) Nick Romito took Italian?? Did Christ Koconis take Greek?
- Vignette #27: (from Harry) Gee, this damned website is keeping me from my work! But anyway, the talk of automobiles above reminds me of two things. Still, I doubt that either could beat the story of Jim Deibel hanging out of Joe's car. Car memory #1: I also had a 1950 Ford. It was blue. You remember the rocker panels on 50 Fords were always rusting out. My dad painted mine to preserve it. We painted it black, so I had a "black and blue" 50 Ford which, of course, everyone in the fraternity referred to as the "bruise"! Also worth mentioning was that Christ Koconis had, I believe, a 54 Ford. One day when he was driving over to the house, his transmission went out on Chester Avenue. He found he could only go in reverse! Luckily, he found himself in front of Hull Dobbs Ford, so he backed around the corner into their service garage. I don't know if that's really a fraternity story, but I remember him telling it at the house.
- Vignette #28 (editorial comment) I thought you were going to end that one sentence . . . "Luckily for Christ, Greek is read from right to left." (Is it?) And what exactly did you mean back in Memory #19 by, "banking notebooks in the fifth grade"? You have our curiosity raised . . .
- Vignette #29: (from Harry) A subject which I have thus far avoided dealing with is that of my nickname. I don't honestly remember a truly disgusting one. Maybe my mind has rejected it. I do remember we had a little melody that we could put various brothers' names into . . . in a distorted manner. I was "H. Eugene K-nauptz. (I would protest that the "k" was silent as in "knife" or "knave.") You will have to consult with Doug on whether I've spelled K-nauptz correctly.
- Vignette #30: (from Joe R) Well the nickname I remember had your first name pronounced correctly, but spelled differently. The second name was . . . dadada . . . uhhh . . . You tell him, Oreon! God, we were bastards every one of us, weren't we? Do you remember Sid Perzy's nickname? I can't even begin to describe it in an open forum like this. Sloppy Al was the luckiest of us all, I think!
- Vignette #31: (from Harry) Another thing was the unofficial A. D. Phi song book. I believe Jim Deibel and Don Miller put it together. There was a song in there about me. It was to the tune of "Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier." Our version was "Harry . . . Harry Kautz, King of sin and vice." After the title, it was all downhill. It had one verse that alluded to a one-time girl-friend of mine and suggested that she and I practiced some terrible activities. (None of it was true, you understand.)
- Vignette #32: (from Joe R) Here again, I remember the song being sung with a slightly different name for Harry Kautz. It was printed in the song book as "Harry Kautz" though, I'm sure of that. But feel good about it, Harry; only really interesting people get interesting nicknames. How I wished I could get some name like "Rocky" or "Spike" through grade school and high school, and then maybe "brains" or "genious" (hell, I can't even spell "genius") when I got to A. D. Phi. I honestly never thought that "ass-hole" was too nice, but I'm getting over it in my old age.
- Vignette #33: (from Harry) Those of us who worked at the printshop would sometimes be together collating pages for some manual or something. We would break into song thus: "We're gathered together to gather together" . . . but could never come up with a satisfactory second line. There also was the time I took to wearing a silver belt to hold up my britches. I thought it gave me the gangster look. Doug Winter would sing, to the tune of "Silver Bells, Silver Bells":
Silver Belt, Silver Belt
It's Harry Kautz in the city
I remember I once touted myself as "fastest gun on Bellflower," then would bemoan the fact that once you're known as the fastest gun on Bellflower, you have every two-bit kid on campus gunning for you. . . . Well, that dries me up for now. [From the Net Police: "fastest gun on Bellflower"? "dries me up"? Ahem . . . we'll have to watch such overt sexual innuendoes, Harry. ;-) ]
- Vignette #34: (from Jim) Here're a couple of vignettes about Sid Perzy, Joe Ryan and all of the others who were involved in the infamous "run" of 1958. It started as the pledge class was running down Euclid Avenue to go to the 71st Street cemetery to do our annual dance and song around the tombstone (not tomb) of Sam Eells. As we approached the front of the cemetery, a group of young African Americans (coloreds, as we used to call them) were approached by Joseph T. Bone in an effort to soothe their savage hides and explain what the fraternity tradition was all about. The next thing we knew was . . . bottles, stones and anything throwable being tossed in our direction. We ran like the dickens into the cemetery, danced around the closest grave we could find . . . something like "Irving," but definitely not "Eells." We exited by the rear of the cemetery and had to climb a wrought iron fence. Sid Perzy put one of the spikes through one of his hands. I can't recall whether or not he needed a doctor's care or not, but he did have a bandage for a while.
- Vignette #35: (from Harry) I wasn't gonna send anymore today (I was gonna work), but then I thought about Joe's question about the picture of the "incredible cat" on the front lawn. My memory is that we built many cats over the years, but never saved one from one year to the next. The John Carroll "Blue Streak" seemed to always be our homecoming foe. There are two pictures of a "Red Cat" among our memory collection of photos. I think they are from the same year. The theme was "Red cats harness the Blue Streak." (The term harnessing the Blue Streak was probably suggested by everyone's concern in those days about "harnessing nuclear energy.") There are two electrodes in front of the Red Cat and a Blue Streak flashing between them. Someone cut a Blue Streak from blue Plexiglas. John Whitehorn and someone else recorded a continuous tape of weird science fiction-like sounds to play along with the set. The backdrop shows a laboratory scene where the Red Cat has the Blue Streak harnessed between the electrodes. The day was, as usual, preceded by an all-night construction party on a cold October evening.
- Vignette #36: (from Joe R) I do recall one time when we had a terribly loud recording of Elvis Presley (continuously singing "Hound Dog"--and possibly others of his songs, I believe) and were asked by the police to turn it off after a complaint from one of our neighboring fraternity houses. I have no idea what the occasion was or what the significance of "Hound Dog" was.
- Vignette #37: (from Oreon) . . . in response to an email from Jim D., I think . . . you (Jim Deibel) have just been "reviewing" the book I (Oreon) gave you for your birthday twenty years ago. I still think the best one is:
There once was a baker from Nottingham
Who, when making eclairs, would snot in 'em
When he ran out of snot . . .
He would, like as not . . .
Take out his . . . dadada and . . . . dadada . . . a shot in 'em!
- Vignette #38: (from Jim) . . . but included in Oreon's submission above . . .
There once was a lady from Azores
. . . dadada . . . dadada . . .
. . . dadada . . . dadada . . .
. . . dadada . . . dadada . . . from her drawers
Red Ridey, etc.
There was a young lady from France
Do I remember? Do I remember?
Who took a ride on a train by chance
The engineer . . . dadada . . . her; she . . . dadada . . . the conductor
And the fireman . . . dadada . . . in his pants.
- Vignette #39: (from Joe R) Yes, yes, I remember, but those are a few of the things I'd just as soon forget. Besides the net police are tired of having to key in ". . . dadada . . ." so often.
- Vignette #40: (from Jim) The "Marcia King" story: One of the (probably) many things that came about as a result of our reunion get-together was renewing friendships. Bob Novak and I have been doing some weekly (for me, weakly) golfing and, of course, we get to reminisce about things that happened in the past. I thought I had submitted my "Marcia King" story, but I can't find it anywhere in "Harry's Place."
Anyone who was in the fraternity when we got our "new" house on Bellflower would have to remember our TGFONH (thank God for our new house) party that we Alpha Delts threw. It started early in the afternoon and Dean Cramer, John Schoff Millis (president of the University) and Dean Griffin stopped in to wish us well. Fortunately, they left early and then the party really got started. I think that everyone on Fraternity Row stopped in. We had three full kegs of beer to start. Anyway, Marcia King (campus queen, etc.) stopped in also and started playing our old upright piano, which at that time was in the dining room. We didn't have a piano bench or stool, so she sat on one of the dining room chairs that was donated by Don Miller's mom and dad. They had leather seats. Marcia played the piano for probably two hours--maybe more. It was a warm September day and was very hot inside, especially with all of the people who were there.
Marcia was wearing a felt or velvet dress . . . blue as I recall, and when she finished playing the piano and got out of the chair, the impression of her fanny had been sweated/pressed into the leather with patches of lint from her blue felt (or velvet) dress. From that day forward, that chair was preserved as the "Marcia King" chair and we irreverently, and perhaps lustily, would remember Marcia King whenever we would look at that impression of her butt in blue felt (or velvet).
That party, by the way, was also the start of regular TGIF parties on campus that had stopped for one reason or another.
- Vignette #41: (from Oreon) I recall when Don Miller composed a song about Al Hauser to the tune of "Little Brown Jug." It went like this:
Sloppy Al! Sloppy Al . . .
I'm proud to say that he's my pal
Never washed, never shall
(huuuack ptui*) Sloppy Al!
(. . . * the sound of sucking up phlegm and spitting)
Don Miller did such a good job of instituting "Sloppy Al" that it stuck and later we shortened it to "SAH" (for Sloppy Al Hauser). When he announced in his senior year that he was going to attend Saint Louis Medical School, I was sitting at the piano one day and composed the following (to the tune of "Saint Louie Blues"):
Saint Louie SAH
With all your . . . dadada . . . hair
You let your . . . dadada . . . run wild
As though you didn't care
An empty jar of peanut butter
Some ragged underwear
All these things go to show
Saint Louie SAH was there, was there . . .
Oh I hate to see . . .
Hope that helps. Maybe we can record it and play it on the web.
Saint Louie SAH go down
Oh I hate to see . . .
Saint Louie SAH go down
. . . cause Saint Louie SAH
He's goin' to leave this town (Cleveland).
- Vignette #42: (from Oreon) You will all see the "cat dissection story" on the videotape I'm sending, told by Larry Yax. Basically, he "stole" a dead cat from the anatomy lab so he could study for a test. Problem was . . . the cat had rigamortis, so he had to break the cat's legs in order to stuff it into his briefcase. He put it in his briefcase so that he could innocently walk out the university building (laboratory) door. The problem with these stories is that really good "Yax" stories, "Kautz" stories or "Szabo" stories are scarce. On the other hand, there are hundreds of "Ryan" stories from which to choose.
P.S.: Do you remember "Red Rydie" verses now, Joe?
- Vignette #43: (from Joe R) I'll never ask a stupid question again . . .
- Vignette #44: (from Harry) This is another sort of "Sloppy Al" (Al Hauser) story. Some of us were working at the print shop and a new fellow started working there. He was married, I believe, and in Dental School, and his name was also Al. Mrs. Goodman asked us, "Why don't you invite Al along with you on your coffee break when you go to Wade Drug Store, because he doesn't know anyone here yet." Good idea, and so we did. Trouble is, when we got there, we launched into our Sloppy Al jokes. This "other" Al started looking uncomfortable with us "young punks"--whom he didn't even really know--making "Sloppy Al" jokes like that about him. Finally we realized the misunderstanding and explained to him exactly who "Sloppy Al" was, and that it wasn't him!
- Vignette #45: (from Harry) A Dave Uscheek story of sorts -- Someone already referred (above) to Dave's ability to drink anyone under the table--and I know he did things like inhale cigars. But a very different kind of story is the evening he stopped by at the frat house with a viola. Dave was a violin player, but was taking viola lessons at the time. What I remember was that he played parts of a well-known violin concerto for us that evening; but what really impressed me was that he (1) played them very well and (2) transposed them for the viola on the spot--quite an outstanding feat, I think. I don't know what occupation Dave eventually went into, but back then we had a very talented musician on our hands.
- Vignette #46: (from Joe R) A Joe Szabo story, I suppose, but I was along for the ride. Many, if not all of you, probably never heard of the Woodward Oratorical Contest held each year in Cleveland--at Western Reserve University. I can't recall who sponsored those contests, nor who "Woodward" was, but Joe Szabo and I entered in 1958 and took 1st and 2nd places, respectively. I believe there were additional contestants. ;-) The prizes, besides some silly little trophies, were checks for $100 and $50. Anyway, on the way back to the frat house to celebrate, Joe said, as only Joe could, "Well, Joe we walked away with all of the loot!" His entire focus was on the money we had won and he didn't once brag about his oration, and in fact, I can't remember what it was even about today. Hopefully, he'll join the discourse once my sister talks him into joining the 20th Century, and fill in some details. Mine was on health care and I began the oration by clapping my hands and saying something about the way doctors used to bring children into the world by slapping their buttocks. It was my way of waking up the judges. I very much remember how so many of you yelled at me while I practiced at the house, wondering why I was "applauding" something in my bedroom in the middle of the night.
- Vignette #47: (from Jim) Doug Winter had a great knack for impersonation. Dave Hess, a Miami Alpha Delt who was living at our fraternity house, used to get calls from a Chinese man named Sam Coo. One day, Doug called the house and asked, "Ess Dave Ess there pleees?" sounding like Sam Coo. When Dave got to the phone, Doug (in his Sam Coo voice) said, "Dave, theeess eeess Sam. Have two fine oriental . . . dadada's . . . for us." -- to which Dave replied, "This isn't Sam; this is Doug Winter!" I guess you had to be there to really chuckle at it, because Dave had an unusual voice (and some unusual friends) and was a friendly, nice guy . . . and had to put up with ribbing like that from Doug and others.
- Vignette #48: (from Jim) There was an incident when Dominic Federico was steward. He had contracted with Saga Foods to prepare the meals for the fraternity. They also gave us many gallons of milk. On one Friday, before either a long weekend or some holiday, we had a lot of unused milk and to leave it in the refrigerator would have caused it to spoil. So, at lunch we decided to have a "milk" Kneiper complete with the perfunctory challenges, toasts, etc. I think we all had to puke after a couple of hours of the infamous "Milk" Kneiper.
- Vignette #49: (from Jim) A Ray Jablonski story? . . . Well, here's one: Mike Deibel (my brother) and I used to work at the University Print Shop and took our lunch breaks over at the Brick Cottage where you could get a sandwich and a grumble from George (never from his brother, Al) about how he doesn't make any money on the food. Anyway, one summer, Ray was working at Sam Gerber's office (the coroner -- Ray Jablonski was a pre-med student and thought the experience might be helpful). He would often meet us for lunch. When he would come in looking sort of green behind the gills and slightly upset to his stomach, we knew they had had another drowning. We would ask, "What's the matter, Beaky?" He would reply, "Urp, another drowning!" I guess drownings aren't very pleasant to observe, especially if the bodies have been in the water for a while.
- Vignette #50: (from Jim) I was reading Harry's piece about homecoming and the "Blue Streaks" of John Carroll . . . and yes, it does seem as though most homecomings were against John Carroll and we always lost the football game. My first homecoming was also against John Carroll. Alpha Delta Phi had "designed" a "Blue Streak" out of about ten toy wagons roped together with elongated tetrahedrons covered with cheese cloth died or painted blue atop each one. About three of us were "elected" to sit in every third wagon to steer them as they were towed down Euclid Avenue on the Friday prior to the game. There were spotlights galore, and the whole fraternity (eight of us) were marching (or sitting in those stupid wagons) down Euclid behind all of the really neat floats that the Phi Gams, Betas, and Delts had made. Thus endeth my first homecoming experience. I wonder if you remember, Joe Ryan . . . it was your concept and you were Homecoming Chairman.
- Vignette #51: (from Joe R) It's funny how the memory works, Jim. I most certainly remember the "Marcia King" story and the . . . uhh . . . "interesting" impressions on the leather seat of our dining room chair (Memory #40, above) much better than the "Little red wagon" story. But I do indeed (sigh) remember that the rag-tag parade of little red wagons (and poorly constructed blue tetrahedrons) was to represent a "Blue Streak" that couldn't possibly win a football game. I think Harry has some additional commentary on that particular "parade" that will be included below as soon as he sends it to me. BTW, Jim, were you a "wagon driver" or a marcher?
- Vignette #52: (from Harry) Where to begin . . . Well, during his first year as an active member of the fraternity, Joe Ryan was put in charge of the Homecoming Float. The WRU Red Cats were, as was often the case, playing the John Carroll Blue Streaks in the Homecoming Game. We used a slogan like, "Red Cats Ride the Blue Streak" or something. Anyway, Ryan--who was always an original thinker--envisioned a train of little red wagons covered with blue pyramids to look like a blue streak. The pyramids would have cardboard red cats riding on them. This would then be pulled down Euclid Avenue behind a convertible carrying our Homecoming Queen candidate.
Joe Ryan borrowed red wagons from little boys all over his neighborhood. (Joe Szabo contributed his childhood wagon, which it turned out, was not red, but rather a little white wagon. There was some discussion in later weeks as to what detrimental effect the possession of a white wagon instead of a red one might have had on poor Joe Szabo's formative years.)
A big part of the float construction was building those blue pyramids for the blue streak. Joe Ryan had procured a load of wood sticks for them. What he should have brought in addition to the lumber was blue oilcloth to stretch over the wooden forms. What he brought by mistake was cheesecloth, and it was white instead of blue. One problem with cheesecloth is that it was really too flimsy for our purpose and had to be applied in layers. One problem with white cheesecloth is that it needed to be died blue.
We always built homecoming decorations at the last minute. In this case, it meant Joe Szabo dying cheesecloth sheets in hot water in the fraternity house kitchen in the middle of the night and bringing them out into the cold October weather to the rest of us trying to stretch them over the wooden frames.
How did we do in the homecoming parade? Well, we didn't win any prizes. I actually never really saw our float, or any others. It was discovered near the end of the construction that every third wagon required a driver for stability. I was so drafted. I spent the Homecoming parade crouched in a little red wagon (or maybe white) with a blue pyramid over me. Stability was greatly undermined by Joe Ryan's concept that the steerers wind from side to side to further create the illusion of a blue streak. Onlookers afterwards were of the opinion that this produced more of a blue snake effect.
Somehow, we didn't tip over in the parade, but afterwards, in the rush to get out of there, we did tip over. It was then and there, standing on a semi-dark Wade Park Avenue, in a line of overturned wagons--a fraternity brother by every third wagon--that it finally ended.
- Vignette #53: (from Jim) There is something that I forgot to add to the wagon story and the "Blue Streak" saga. There were red cardboard cutouts of redcats riding each one of the tetrahedrons, the theme of our display being . . . (are you ready?) . . . "Ride the Blue Streaks Ragged." We did not win, place or show, and I really thought it was pretty original . . .all those wagons tethered together with raggedly looking blue streaks being ridden by little Red Cats.
- Vignette #54: (from Joe R) Whew! I do recall that the theme was "Red Cats Ride the Blue Streaks Ragged" and therefore it was not a mistake when I brought white cheesecloth or had too fewer wagon masters than might have been required to run a tight ship, so to speak. Undermined . . . mistake . . . last minute . . . good grief! Brilliance is never recognized until one hundred years after the genius is dead, I've heard. Right?
I still don't know what the playing of Hound Dog and other Elvis Presley tunes at full blast had to do with another Homecoming. Who was the A.D.Phi chairman that year?
- Vignette #55: (from Jim) Remind me someday to tell you about the "Ugly man" contest of 1956 and who the Alpha Delt's contestant was, and how he got entered. I would really rather enter it after some others send some material to Harry's Place. I'm surprised Steve North hasn't sent anything in.
[Ed. note: Ahah! A challenge to you all! Who among you knows who the "Ugly Man" contestant was? Was he an Alpha Delt? And Steve North: What was that crazy "Nick Romito Story" that had me in such stitches? You better hurry before Nick starts sending his submissions, right Nick? And BTW, who on earth was the unfortunate Homecoming Queen candidate who had to represent Alpha Delta Phi in front of the rag-tag parade of red wagons with blue whatevers over them?]
- Vignette #56: (from Harry) The Marcia King story reminds me of . . . well . . . Marcia King! She was a real Queen. She was a big girl in all of the nice ways that you like a girl to be "big." She lived in Guilford House, I think. The building has a pair of big bay windows near one end. Do you remember that Don Miller dated her for a while? Don claimed that they added those bay windows to accommodate her. If they did things like that, she certainly would have been a super candidate.
- Vignette #57: (from Jim) The Phi Gam Owl . . .actually, it was Dan Ehlert who originally absconded with it. As I remember the story, we were invited to an open house or some such party and Dan had a trench coat on. Sokie (sp?) the Owl was atop their grand piano and Dan was close to it (drink in hand, of course) and, in the same motion, set his drink down, opened his coat and stuffed Sokie inside his coat. Being that everyone was about half-bombed, no one was the wiser and to look at Dan, another ten pounds or so just disappeared away.
As I was led to believe, yes you [Joe Ryan], spilled the beans--I'm not sure to whom.
The best part of having the Phi Gam Owl was calling them everyday and saying on the phone (long before caller ID) "Hoooo, Hoooo, Hoooo's got the owl?" They really got pissed at that.
- Vignette #58: (from Joe R) More blame! First the "mistakes" that went into designing and building a float and now the loss of the Phi Gam Owl. Oy vey! My memory was that one of our dates at a fraternity party saw the owl and recognized it. She reported her observation to a Phi Gam and . . . well . . . the rest is history. The Phi Gams were both bigger and larger in number than we were, and when they came to retrieve the owl, there was no argument.
- Vignette #59: (from Harry) Last night's entries here in Harry's Place evoked more memories . . . will it ever end? Anyway, regarding the "liberation" of the Phi Gam Owl. My memory is that the beans were spilled at the print shop. A Phi Gam's girl friend who worked there with us--someday to become a Phi Gam wife--was told we had the owl. I don't know who told her, but none of us objected to telling her. She was a coworker and we overestimated her loyalty to her coworkers rather than her future husband. (When said that way, it sounds kind of dumb.)
- Vignette #60: (from Joe R) And I definitely remember being accused of being the "one" who told her. But my impeccable memory still recalls that the actual "spilling of the beans" took place at an Alpha Delt party wherein one of the invitees (a fellow whose name escapes me now--he was not a brother, but very close and considered a stud--name was Don, I think) brought a Phi Gam girl--already pinned to a Phi Gam, in fact. And someone brought out the owl to show it off and she saw and recognized the loot. Surely, someone among you remembers that, don't you?
- Vignette #61: (from Harry) Reserve football games) I really don't remember whether we won or lost any homecoming games. That's probably because we never went to any football games--or almost never, anyway. We just didn't care! One exception was when Reserve played Case Tech. I was at one, at least. I don't even remember if we won that game. What I do remember is that the Case engineers sat on the West side of the field and we sat on the East side. There would be hostile signs raised from both sides. In particular, I remember that the engineers sent a hydrogen-filled balloon over our heads marked "Beat Reserve." As it came low over our heads, someone yelled "Hey, that thing might explode!" And that kind of cleared the stands.
- Vignette #62: (from Harry) Whilst writing the above, I remembered a fraternity event that I think was called "Sing Out." Various fraternities' singing groups competed. We entered once with Joe Szabo as our leader. He stood in front of us as we sang a fraternity song and ended each stanza with "On Moonlight Bay." For each time we reached a line that ended with "on Moonlight Bay," we all put on false black mustaches for a 1930's effect. At the end, Joe Szabo turned to the audience and repeated the last line, "On . . . Moonlight . . . Bay!" It was then that the audience saw, for the first time, that Joe had on a red mustache rather than a black one. It made a big hit with the crowd . . . but we didn't win the contest.
- Vignette #63: (from Joe R) Equally impressive to the audience were the low notes that Joe Szabo managed to hit when he repeated that last line. He went lower than Lee Marvin went with "I was born under a Wandrin' Star" in Paint Your Wagon . . . by far! Also, Harry kindly left out a minor matter of the lengthy rehearsals and Joe's final exasperated instructions to me: "Joe, just mouth the words; don't bother singing!" (Really!) It's no wonder that I never became a singer in the Metropolitan Opera with such negative encouragement! Also, I wonder if there is any psychological connection between Joe Szabo's little white wagon and his red mustache . . .
- Vignette #64: (from Jim) At the mention of Hound Dog, I remembered the house decoration we had for one homecoming . . . 1958 . . . I think we were playing Wayne State University and the caption was "You ain't nothin' but a hound dog!" Doug Winter recorded alternatively, Elvis Presley's "Don't be Cruel" and "You ain't nothin' but a Hound Dog." We had a huge white guitar made out of plywood and the Wayne State University football player was dressed in football clothes with . . . (you got it) . . . a hound dog! We didn't win that one either. [Editorial Note: Hmmm . . . I think the little red wagons and "riding the Blue Streak ragged" was infinitely better! At the very least, I would have included Harry Kautz stuffed inside the paper-mache football player with his arms in the football player's arms making it look like the player was simultaneously spinning a yo-yo up and down with one hand while clumsily trying to play the guitar with the other. No, I haven't thought of a caption to go with it all yet, but that's a great start towards a winning entry, don't you think?]
- Vignette #65: (from Oreon) Jim Deibel suggested I send you this story relating to Don Miller's lack of musical taste, though it's clear he knows the story well too.
A Story of Don Miller's Lack of Musical Taste: In the spring of 1960, they changed the rules for "IFC Singout." Large fraternities could continue to compete singing in choirs, but now, small fraternities could produce "quartets" for a separate trophy. For that contest, Peter Sprague (bass), Doug Winter (alto), John Kleinholz (tenor) and Jim Deibel (lead) comprised the "Alpha Delt" contestant. We sang one fraternity song that I can't remember and the "Penthouse Serenade."
Amazingly, we won the trophy. Peter Sprague carried it around proudly. That night, Don Miller visited the house and since we were all there, the Alpha Delta Phi quartet sang him a song . . . the one we really wanted to sing for the IFC Singout, but didn't have the guts. Imagine this song, in beautiful four-part harmony:
My grandfather's c**k
Was too large for his jock
So it dragged ninety years on the floor.
It was larger by half
Than the old man himself
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more.
It was cropped on the morn
Of the day he was born
And was always his pleasure and pride.
But it stopped short
Never to drip again
When the old man died.
Ninety years without wandering
Drip drop drip
All the women were pondering
Drip drop drip
But it stopped short
Never to drip again
When the old man died.
When we completed this beautiful song, Don Miller just shook his head and left without saying a word. Obviously, he wasn't a music lover!
Also Joe, I know how sensitive and demure you are, but really, you needn't censure any of the material.
- Vignette #66 (from Joe R) No, I'm not the prude you think I am. If you go to the Alpha Delta Phi site and read the "rules" for using the Greek letters in "Print" (yes, a website admittedly is questionable print), we have to be a little careful. I tried to leave enough in so that the . . . dadadas . . . could be easily figured out (tell me how you would do that one whose first line ends with "Azores"), but I wasn't happy myself in a couple of cases with what was left.
And please, in no way would I now or ever censure what you wrote. It was great. I simply had to censor certain words that might lose us the right to use the nice A.D.Phi graphics that we are permitted to use, in accordance with fraternity rules as stated on their official website.
As regards the ditty you sang to Don Miller about some rooster who had it's head chopped off when some guy was born, and then dripped blood throughout the poor man's life . . . well, I didn't see any problems with that song, other than its obvious violent theme. Maybe you and Jim Deibel can show me where I could remove a couple of "dadada"s in the "Azores" song. Just resend it with a minimum of carefully placed "dadada"s and let's see if it can be resurrected as something recognizable. Is that possible?
- Vignette #67: (from Harry) Pianos: When I pledged, we had an old upright at the E. 117th Street house. Eventually that was replaced, either there or on Bellflower, by another upright. That second upright was donated to us by someone, but only if we picked it up. Thus, we got a truck (somehow) and went down to a house at about E. 38th and Hough. I remember us backing up the truck to the front porch of that beat-up old house on Hough Ave. and bringing it out. maybe someone else remembers more to that story.
Eventually, someone donated a baby grand piano to us. On Bellflower, we had two pianos sort of back-to-back on opposite sides of a wall. The baby grand was dedicated to serious things (like me writing my piano sonatas), and the upright was for funning around.
The upright was much revised by Jim Deibel. He put thumb tacks on the hammers to give it a honky-tonk sound. It was a player piano that ran on pumped-up air pressure, but it didn't work because the hoses were old and wouldn't hold the pressure. That didn't stop Jim Deibel. He hooked up our vacuum cleaner to it and made it play some piano rolls we had. It sounded pretty good over the roar of the vacuum cleaner--sort of the effect they get with bag pipes, I suppose.
- Vignette #68: (from Joe R) Yes, I do remember that crazy player piano and I also remember someone (I think maybe it was Don Miller or Russ Egolf) suggesting that we hook Joe Szabo up to it to maintain the air pressure. He (Joe S) didn't much care for our silly humor over that. Didn't Joe Szabo also have a Latin name that he didn't much care for? Further, there's some missing link(s) to the story. I believe we were still on 117th St. when we got the second upright because the old one sat outside near the street (at the 117th St. place) for at least a couple of days and was an eyesore. Someone (help me here, I can't remember who--was that you, Harry Kautz?) stood at it and played for a while one afternoon, which I'm sure made our neighbors happy. If we had a truck to bring the "new" upright to the house, why didn't we haul the old one away in the truck--or did we take the old one out first? Or was there a "third" upright even before the one Harry mentioned? Many, many questions linger in my mind.
- Vignette #69: (from Harry) The mention of the vacuum cleaner in the above story about the player piano reminds me of the other thing . . . the vacuum cleaner. I guess the Alumni Association gave it to us. They were very generous when they got us the Bellflower house and new furnishings. I guess the vacuum cleaner was given to us in the hopes that we would keep the house at least halfway neat. That vacuum cleaner got a lot of unconventional use though. I mentioned the use as a piano driver. Besides that, it was used to catch mice in the kitchen and to shoot objects during war games.
One other personal use for it came about when I had a case of dandruff. On some mornings when I had an especially itchy scalp, I would go over my hair with the vacuum cleaner. I remember one morning when Bob Novak and Bill Hartley caught me at the foot of the back steps so occupied. There was a brief discussion as to whether I should wash my hair more often and whether too much washing could rot one's hair. None of that was resolved.
- Vignette #70: (from Joe R) The above story reminds me of a seriously bad habit I acquired when it came to brushing my teeth. I was very conscious of my naturally yellow teeth and used a gritty sink cleaner with bleach in it mixed with my toothpaste to keep my teeth at least somewhat white. (It was a common kind of scouring powder that came in a green cardboard can with a metal top.) A girl with whom I went out only once or twice (who remembers Ester Sapia?) made the suggestion that you could "bleach" the yellow out of your teeth and I took it one step further. I was warned by Dan Ehlert that the cleanser had ground glass in it (which may or may not have been true) and would destroy my stomach if I accidentally swallowed any. I was super careful not to swallow any. But whatever the grinding agent in the cleanser was, it eventually wore away all of the enamel on my teeth and when I finally went to a dentist a few years later, he said he had never seen anything like it. Of course, I didn't tell him the cause, but I have been wearing crowns for most of my life thanks to an adolescent-like habit picked up while supposedly learning useful stuff at college.
- Vignette #71: (from Jim) Harry Kautz 's memory of the piano is excellent up until he credits me with getting the dumb thing to work. I'll take the blame for the thumb tacks, but I believe it was Doug Winter (with Dave Uscheek) who finally got it to play for a while. If my memory serves me, the only piano roll we had was, "Drifting Down the Dreamy Amazon." But because memories are sometimes flawed, I'll accede to someone else's better rearward vision.
- Vignette #72: (from Harry) I'm glad you guys remembered the old upright piano. I don't remember it outside on the street, but I'm sure I was not the one who played it outside there. I was a shy young man back then.
- Vignette #73: (from Harry) Thinking of the E. 117th St. house reminds me of Saturday "Work Sessions." We would be exhorted by the powers that be (Dan Ehlert, primarily) that we should come to Saturday work sessions to help maintain the house. So it was that small bands of us Westsiders, feeling pangs of duty, would do, independent of each other, our Saturday pilgrimages to E. 117th Street do "work." The question was what to do once we got there. The house had no carpeting so the logical thing was to wash and wax the tile floor in the living room and dining room. According to Dan Ehlert, those floors would get washed and waxed up to a half dozen times each Saturday.
I remember a different job that I think Joe Ryan and I did one Saturday. The window in one bedroom was broken. (How that could happen in a frat house, I can't imagine!) Anyway, we went to our favorite hardware store in Little Italy and bought a pane of glass. It was the right size to start with but in our processing it lost a corner of glass. We put it in anyway and filled the hole with putty. (Dan Ehlert didn't care for its final appearance.)
- Vignette #74: (from Jim) Re. Memory #73 of Harry above . . . How could we forget Sam Palevski (sp?), the only hardware store manager/owner (probably in the world) that would give us (Alpha Delta Phi) credit. Old Sam gave us credit even though we hardly ever paid him on time. Speaking of old goats (other than us), remember Ed Dean from "Dean's Diner"? That was the place that had a rainbow arch over the top that said, "The finest people on earth eat at this diner!" Ed used to give us all his tax stamps every time we stopped by. No one could make a greaseburger with grilled onions like Ed Dean's Diner--except perhaps the Euclid Tavern, and you could get a beer there. Now that my memory is in second gear, I can remember when Dean's Diner got its liquor license and sold beer and wine with its meals.
- Vignette #75: (from Joe R) [In response to Jim's note about the apparent lack of submissions from most of the others] My memory of Alpha Delta Phi is of a gang of guys whose fidelity was second to none . . . a group of young men who would never allow a few to carry the load, no matter what the cost or effort. I suspect that a lot of letters are simply lost in the mail or slowly making their way into the mailboxes of you (Jim Deibel), Doug Winter, Harry Kautz or me. My memory is seldom wrong (well . . . maybe a little . . .) and on the basis of such a strong recollection of the undying friendship . . . nay--make that love . . . that bonds us together, I will have to plan to take some time off from work soon just to key in the bushels of "memories" that will be flowing to "Harry's Place."
- Vignette #76: (from Harry) Dean's Diner (#74, above) brings up some vague memories. I remember eating there with Al Hauser and/or Paul Meiland a lot. I also remember eating there with Russ Egolf. Russ and I would each order the vegetable platter. (We were eating "healthy" -- kind of ahead of our time.) When we were finished, we would each have the piece of parsley left. We would each pick it up, toast each other "to health!" and pop it in our mouth with a grimace--since neither of us liked the taste.
- Vignette #77: (from Harry) Another memory is the experience of winter evenings on Bellflower in the bullpen with a fire in the fireplace. We would all sit around the fireplace "studying." Occasionally a brother would get up and light his pipe from the fire. Real intellectual stuff. I don't remember where we got the wood or whatever to keep the fire going. Someone else might have a funny story about that.
- Vignette #78: (from Jim) Playing golf with Bob Novak recently has revealed to me that he has lots of stories that connect the E. 117th Street place to the Bellflower house--I'll tweak him to put some of them into writing--but speaking of the "connections" between the two houses, do any of you remember Mrs. Beverly? She was quiet as a mouse and never seemed to mind the rowdy guys who lived just below her. We hardly ever saw her too. Then the fellows, when they moved to Bellflower, hired Mrs. Scott to be a "real" house mother--not just a pretend one like Mrs. Beverly who was really just a paying boarder.
Also, I don't remember the piano sitting out on the street . . . maybe while I was in Hell Week.
- Vignette #79: (from Jim) There is a story about Russ Egolf, Sid Perzy, Don Miller and me. In the summer of 1956, Don Miller went with a bunch of students to tour Europe. Russ Egolf had just purchased a 1960 or 61 Mercury convertible(with electric windows) and had told Don that he would pick him up in New York when he came back from Europe. Somehow, Sid and I were asked to come along. There are only two things of any relative import: (1) We were able to buy booze in a bar legally in NY (at that time the drinking age was 18), and (2) Although memorable but not of great import was how we discovered on the Pennsylvania Turnpike (with the top down), the interesting movements of air currents. As I recall the incident (remember, my memory fades somewhat), I
was in the back seat and either Sid Perzy or Russ Egolf let go of a mighty "hocker" straight
up in the air. The wind as we were traveling caught it and sent it speeding toward the rear of the car, just over my head, and an eddy current pulled
it down and sent it traveling at a good rate of speed where it "sploched" on
Russ's inside windshield. Not an important story, but reading some of these
vignettes pushed my memory button.
- Vignette #80: (from Joe R) My memory of those years is pretty bad, but I distinctly recall that 1956 preceded 1960 (and 1961) by four or five years. Who did Russ Egolf's father work for? -- NASA? Harry: Was time travel possible way back then, or is that something you guys have been working on more recently? I understand that 1/2 to 2/3 WARP speeds are likely in the next century, but what is it that I don't know about what you scientists are up to? Winston Churchill would have asked, "About what is that up to which you scientists are?" (He never let a dangling preposition survive--or at least joked about persons who tried to stay within such bounds.) Perhaps we'll have to wait for an explanation from Jim.
- Vignette #81: (from Harry) You questioned me about whether NASA had time travel by 1956. You must realize that I would not be at liberty to discuss such things. However, you should be aware that if time travel would ever be possible, it would be possible for all times. (Didn't you watch any Star Trek?) If, for example, someone were to invent it, in say, the year 3000 AD, they could easily take a couple of fraternity lads from the late 1950's to a used car lot in the early 1960s and then back again. I'll say no more about that.
- Vignette #82 (from Joe R) Good idea, Harry; we should try to maintain good OPSEC in all of these memories, to the extent possible. Perhaps Jim Deibel will have a decent "cover story" for his obvious slip in security.
- Vignette # 83: (from Jim) Remember? I did say my memory fades a bit . . . it was a 1949 or 50 or 51 Mercury convertible, and the rest of the story is true. That would have been quite a feat with a 1960 Merc though, wouldn't it have been? [Ed. Note: Good cover story, Jim; thanks!]
- Vignette #84: (from Harry) Paul Robert Meiland and I roomed together at the Bellflower house and later at Mrs. Baracelli's. We had similar music interests also. We would take the title of the song from The Student prince: "When it's Summertime in Heidelberg" and twist it all around with spoonerisms and break each other up. There were so many discussions of music, especially of Schubert, that would probably not mean much to other people. I remember Paul Meiland playing both cello suites in the bull pen. I remember at Baracelli's, we decided at one time we would cook our own meals, so we started a "kitty" for the money to buy food. Only we called it a doggy" because I was allergic to cats.
- Vignette #85: (from Joe R) I too stayed at Dr. Baracelli's for some time, and also remember getting into classical music. Does anyone still have a copy of Tom Lehrer's "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park"? Or his real "classic" for mathematicians, "Lobashevski"? It had some lines that went something like "Plagiarize, plagiarize; don't shade yer eyes; that's why God made yer eyes; . . . plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize." That was a great help to me when I finally wrote my Ph.D. dissertation.
- Vignette #86: (from Harry) Someone mentioned Mrs. Beverly who lived on the third floor at the E. 117th. St. house. I hardly ever saw her--although there were probably times she saw a lot of us as she passed our bedrooms on her way up or down. I do remember that Don Miller had a habit of poking the ceiling with a broom and waiting for her to call and say she was hearing strange sounds in the house.
- Vignette #87: (from Harry) I remember a 10" LP recording by Tom Lehrer. I didn't personally have a copy, but heard it several times. My favorite number was, "Be Prepared, That's the Boy Scouts' Marching Song." The last line was, "If you should meet a girl who is favorably inclined . . . Be Prepared!"
- Vignette #88: (from Joe R) Harry! What a shocker! You didn't find "Be Prepared!" offensive? I thought your favorite TL song would have been one where he went through all of the then known elements from the Periodic Table--I think the song was just called "The Elements." (Don't ask me to try to go through the Periodic table as quickly as did Tom Lehrer . . . a lot seemed to end with "eridium" and his order of recitation was questionable.) I would have thought you would like that one best considering all of those crazy chemistry courses I think I recall you took.
By the way, the music to "The Elements" (from the Periodic table) was written by the famous Irish composer, Sir Arthur Sullivan. Now you know two Irish classical composers, Harry. Also, how did you ever manage to continue to listen to TL after he sang, "We Will All Go Together When We Go!"? He was pretty hard on physicists, wasn't he? Then again, I went on in math even after he sang "New Math" (very irreverent) on a much later recording, as I recall. Either Paul Meiland or Doug Winter--believe it or not--had the original of that one, or one like it about mathematics, but that was after I was at Dr. Baracelli's. Somewhere in my stacks of unpacked boxes, I have some more recently purchased (like maybe five years ago) cassette tapes or CDs of most of Tom Lehrer's songs--one more incentive to finally start getting my apartment in order after a full year in it. I started with 175 large boxes and have about 50 still unopened. Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night is worse than walking through a minefield--and I remember what that was like from when I was in Vietnam in that cemetery south of Tan Son Nhut and . . but that's for another forum, isn't it?
- Vignette #89: (from Jim) [. . . in response to a question in an email from Joe R. asking Jim who rushed him . . .] Whatta memory! You [Joe Ryan] and Joe Szabo rushed me . . . at the same time that you rushed Bob Garfield. You thought I was Jewish and that he wasn't. As it turned out, he was and I wasn't--not that that makes any difference. I think he became a Zebe.
- Vignette #90: (from Joe R) I had forgotten, but now I remember the entire affair. I can honestly state that there wasn't even a tiny bit of prejudice among the active brothers at that time--that I was ever able to perceive--but there was a lot of concern about what the alumni might or might not do if we rushed Jewish men--which we did with an abandon, thus largely ignoring our concerns about the alumni entirely.
Do you remember one of my nicknames during those crazy years . . . "Shtoynfeltt"? It was pronounced the way I just spelled it too, but with a definite Yiddish accent. You guys were good at accents. Anyway, that nickname came from my grandfather's name "Sternfield" (he deliberately added the "i" to make it look less Jewish when he converted to Catholicism), and once one of the A. D. Phi brothers got wind of his name, well . . . you know the Alpha Delts! If you recall, I usually borrowed his car (a fairly nice looking black 1950 Ford sedan) when I went on special dates and such.
Well, the ironic thing is that that (the name "Sternfeld") turned out to be my actual birth name, but I didn't know it until the US Government told me I had an undeclared "alias" when I was getting some sort of high clearance and didn't include that name on my papers. I always knew I had Jewish blood from my mother's side of the family, but just assumed I was Irish from my "dad." Not so. I was originally "Baby Sternfeld" and then "Joe Sternfeld" until I was a few years old when my real mother married, and then she and my step-father, whom I had always thought was my real father, adopted me. My mother nearly had a fit when I confronted her with the information I had unwittingly uncovered. For whatever reason, the "i" was left off my birth certificate, so I was "Sternfeld" and one of the few uncircumcised Jews in Detroit at the time--and probably the only uncircumcised Jew in the Hudson Chapter in the late 50s. Sad to say, I always tried to hide the "Jewish side" of my family while going through high school and such (we all surely knew my grandfather's heritage, but my mother always told all of us that it would be better not to ever mention it) and simply considered myself to be of Irish heritage.
But now I want to know why I never had either the money or the talent that so often seems to go with a Jewish heritage. Probably the circumcision thing . . .
- Vignette #91: (from Harry)
I just read your comments on not having as much money or talent as you might like. It occurs to me that you could maybe get a deal on circumcision from one of our medical brothers. It's never too late to become rich and talented, ya know. If it works for you, let me know.
- Vignette #92: (from Joe R) Uhhh . . . on second thought, maybe having money or talent wasn't that important. Who among you remembers the afternoon that Sid Perzy, Al Hauser, a couple of other "brothers," and someone else who wasn't a brother grabbed me and were trying to carry me upstairs to one of the back bedrooms where you were threatening to circumcise me? Sid had gotten one of the large carving knives from the kitchen and one of you had a large set of pruning shears. I wasn't really that sure that you guys weren't just kidding. (I think I really did know you were kidding, but I fought pretty hard just the same, considering my very unathletic build.) I remember kicking and screaming as we were going up the stairs and then you finally just let me go and we all laughed it off, probably with a beer--surely against IFC rules, but I really don't remember how it all subsequently died down. I remember sitting with Dave Uscheek afterwards, but don't remember him being one of the perpetrators. If he were, the rest of you guys would have been redundant.
- Vignette #93: (from Harry) I can remember Don Miller saying "Sternfeld" with a Jewish accent. Actually, Don was one of the best joke-tellers I ever knew. He had a Jewish, Irish, Afro-American, and Lord knows what other accents down pat. Not only that, he could have two distinct voices in each. Thus, he could tell a joke with two Jews, two Irishmen, two Afro-Americans or whatever talking, and you could always know who was saying what. I remember certain jokes simply because I can "hear" Don telling them. There were two Jewish businessmen who invited their employees to a picnic at their estates in de "Pigskills." There were the two Afro-Americans in a bar on Hough arguing who was the blacker, etc., etc., etc.
- Vignette #94: (from Joe R) Aaaarrggh! Dashed against the rocks of truth! I decided to look up the "Irish" classical composer, Sir Arthur Sullivan, on the web and discovered that although his ancestry was indeed "Irish" (kind of like my own, I suppose) and he wrote "The Irish Symphony," he is regarded as a "preeminent British composer"--probably as a result of hanging around with that idiot Gilbert and getting involved with scoring those silly "G & S" musicals. Thus, Harry, you can probably count your number of known Irish composers at about one and a half. Were there ever any German classical composers?
- Vignette #95: (from Jim) Re. Harry's remembrance of Don Miller's many accents . . . my favorite Miller joke: Two guys were talking and one says, "Did you hear about the two Jewish guys that met on the street corner?" The other guy says, "Enough already! You always tell jokes about two Jewish guys; can't you tell something about any other people?" So the other guy says, "All right, these two Chinese guys meet on the street corner and the one says to the other, 'What are you doing for the Passover?' " Maybe you had to be there to listen to it, but it always struck me as being funny as Hell.
- Vignette #96: (from Joe R) Yes, Don Miller's accents were great, but in all honesty, I remember being in awe of so many of you who could do that. Sid Perzy was another one, and others whose names I can't remember--especially some of the younger guys--seemed to be able to handle Italian, Jewish, Irish, German, Afro-American and so many, many accents so well. As a matter of fact, I believe you were one of the better ones, Jim--and you too, Doug! I could never tell jokes very well, accents or no accents, and I was always jealous of that. (Still am.)
- Vignette #97: (from Joe R) Jim Deibel's memory of Don Miller's Jewish/Chinese joke reminded me of another one--yes, from Don, I'm reasonably sure: Jim and Sidney ("Oy Zihd'ney," as only Don could pronounce it!) were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sidney, asked Jim . . . how many Jews are there in China do you think?" "Hmmm . . . I don't know . . . let me ask the Chinese waiter." When the Chinese waiter came by, Sidney asked him, "Do you have any Chinese Jews?" "I don't know, good customer, let me ask." The waiter disappeared into the kitchen and returned shortly with his answer: "No, good customer, no Chinese Jews!"
"Are you certain about that?" Sidney asked. "I will check again, good customer" the waiter said, and disappeared again into the kitchen.
Sidney said to Jim, "You know, you Gentiles might buy that, but I can't really believe there are no Jews in China. Our twelve tribes have scattered throughout the world."
But when the waiter returned, he had the same short answer: "Good customer, no Chinese Jews!" "Are you really certain of that?" Sidney argued. I just can't believe there are no Chinese Jews!"
"Good customer, I ask everyone in the kitchen" the waiter said, looking pretty tired of the whole matter, "We have prune Jews, Tomato Jews, Orange Jews . . . even Lime Jews . . . but no one ever hear of Chinese Jews!"
[Here, Don must have used both a Chinese accent and one--and maybe even two, depending upon how the first joke went--Jewish accents interchangeably. But, like Harry, I almost have to believe it was Don who said the joke--accents and all--because I remember the joke so well fifty years later. And by the way, the use of "Jim" and "Sid" as the names of the two fellows sitting in the restaurant were not necessarily the names given to them back in 1958 by Don--if indeed they even had names. I was just having a little politically uncorrect fun in 1999. My apologies to both Jim and Sid--and to Chinese waiters worldwide . . . if there even are any Chinese waiters anymore. The Chinese restaurants here in Seattle have only waitresses, and they are largely Hispanics.]
- Vignette #98: (from Joe R) Okay, okay . . . we have to get off this Jewish joke kick. Besides being politically incorrect in today's super-liberal climate, it's probably straying from the intent of "Harry's Place" . . . right, Harry?
But just the same, let me let loose with my last . . . and favorite one: (This one not from Don Miller, admittedly, but from one of my Jewish friends in the USAF--so it's not aimed at any race or nationality--but one who was generally less than tolerant of certain folks, especially the NCOs and Koreans with whom we worked.) Most of my really favorite "Jewish Jokes" were told to me by my Jewish "comrades" in the Air Force--particularly the fighter pilots. This one goes something like this:
A Jewish father was really bothered because his son left the "Faith," and so he went to see his Rabbi about his son. "I brought him up as a good Jew, gave him the very best bar mitzvah and sent him to a good Jewish school . . . then just last month he told me that he decided to become a Christian. Oh Rabbi, where did I mess up?"
"Funny you should come to me," replied the Rabbi. "I too brought my boy up to be a good Jew, put him through a good expensive Jewish university, and then, just like your son, he suddenly decided to become a Christian."
"Well, what did you do then," asked the distraught father.
"I turned to God for the answer" replied the Rabbi. "And? . . ." asked the father.
God said, "Funny you should come to me . . ."
Okay, okay . . . is that enough? I promise . . . no more from me!
- Vignette #99 (from Oreon) A Steve North story: Remember the serving pantry and window between the kitchen and the dining room? There was a counter-top and eye-level cabinets all around. Well, there was a raging argument in a Monday Night Meeting as to whether or not to install a padlock on those cabinets, since that was where the Social Chairman stored the liquor for parties. Steve North, almost single-handedly, fought like a tiger to keep the padlocks off. He argued that we are brothers and our fraternity was based on trust. The majority decided that we were more like a business than a brotherhood, so the vote was to put the locks on the liquor cabinets.
Within only one week, Dave Uscheek came in slightly high (he had drunk only one fifth up to that point) and he ripped off the liquor cabinet doors, locks and all, to get to the liquor. We should have done it Steve's way.
- Vignette #100: (from Oreon) A Doug Winter, Russ Egolf, Tom Ryan, Bill Hartley story: We had our first "keneiper," a beer-drinking game, with Dan Ehlert as the "keneipermaster" or moderator. A pledge in my class,Ed Proctor, had bragged that he had drunk twenty (20) bottles of beer on a previous occasion, so we were expecting big things from him. On his second beer, Ed threw up, and Jim Deibel named him "20-bottle Ed."
After the affair, Doug Winter, Russ Egolf, Tom Ryan and Bill Hartley all went for a walk and knocked on the door of the Phi Sigma Delta house (large Jewish fraternity). They were having a party and there were beautiful high school girls, dressed to kill, all over the place. We asked to use their bathroom. Foolishly, they let us. I vividly remember four guys, four streams--all coming from different angles. I think that about 75% of the collective piss hit the toilet.
- Vignette #101: (from Joe R) A serious memory of sorts relative to Tom Ryan's death. Seeing my brother's name, just above reminded me of something I learned only while I was back in Cleveland at the reunion. I had always thought Tom died of an embolism or some other sort of a sudden bursting of a blood vessel in his brain. That was what my mother thought, and what she told me, but that turned out to be totally wrong. His only daughter has become a nurse and a few years ago went to the coroner's office in Cleveland and dug out his records. He died from acute leukemia. His records showed that he was anemic too, and that his white blood count was as high as any they had ever seen. Just thought you'd want to know . . .
- Vignette #102: (from Jim) Ahhh . . . every time someone remembers something, it brings to mind a thought or two. Here's a short one about Tom Neff. During finals, he would normally stay at the fraternity house so that he wouldn't have to make the arduous drive to "Shekel" Heights. As usual, there wasn't a whole lot of food to be found around the house, and he survived by making sandwiches . . . two pieces of bread with a piece of bread in-between . . . something he called a "bread sandwich."
- Vignette #103: (from Harry) I thank you for sharing the information about your brother, Tom (Tom Ryan). I had wanted to ask you but I didn't know how. I always liked Tom and I am sorry for the tragedy of his loss. Certainly the story is an important part of "Harry's Place" because he was, and still is, our brother.
- Vignette #104: (from Joe R) Thanks for the kind sentiments, Harry. To be honest, I thought it over . . . and over again . . . before entering it.
- Vignette #105: (from Jim) I just received the video tape from Doug Winter today and reviewed it. Interestingly enough, had we all received that five weeks ago, three-quarters of the "vignettes" in Harry's Place would not have come about . . . hmmm.
- Vignette #106: (from Joe R) Not so . . . in my humble opinion. When Harry first wrote me about doing this, it was with his knowledge that the videotape had been taken. I think the intent here is to provide many of the same incidents included on the tape--but with the afterthoughts that invariable come with time, and when writing, as opposed to speaking to a camera. The camera captures spontaneity and the emotions of facial expressions, body movement, etc., whereas the written word often takes certain aspects of certain incidents into a slightly different realm. I'll have to defer to Harry for some thoughts on this and what his original concept was. But one way or the other, this forum is endless . . . or at least seems to be. I look forward to getting written versions of what's on the tape.
- Vignette #107: (from Joe R) And continuing in that same vein, I should mention that "Harry's Place" can be printed in color--which comes out dark violet on white--not white on blood red--or can be printed in gray-tones--which comes out black-on-white. Standard Black/White printers work perfectly for giving straight black-on-white. That was part of the reason behind the choice of certain colors for the screen version. Whether or not you are using Internet Explorer or Netscape, all of the common postscript printers will provide the same output. It actually looks pretty nice, in my opinion, but I'd like to hear from some more of you as regards this. Of course, Elvis won't dance in that idiotic animated manner (he's caught in a still shot) and Al's head may or may not be "up," depending upon when you hit the print button (I guess). No one has commented on the sparse and in-bad-taste animation that I stuck here and there, so I assume it irritates the hell out of all of you. ;-) So far, the light green (for names) seems to please those of you who are not red-green color-blind, but there are other options--such as orange, tan or yellow. And by the way, we can all thank, Doug Winter, for helping me out in that regard with his suggestion about highlighting the names in color, etc. so as to identify in which "era" the Vignette was.
- Vignette #108: (from Jim) I don't really care about colors one way or the other, 'cause I'm color-blind. But speaking of colors . . . there is a fraternity, Beta Theta Pi. Now who the hell would want to be in Beta Theta Pi? Their colors are pink and blue. Baby pink and baby blue. How the hell does that strike you? Beta Theta Pi.
- Vignette #109: (from Joe R) Well, Flo and I have had twelve kids--eleven were babies so you can imagine I've seen my share of baby blue and baby pink! . . . and Kim (she was a Vietnamese girl of about nine), whom we adopted while I was in Nam, was fond of pink, as I recall, and now has a son (so she must like baby blue!) of her own. Hmmm . . . maybe Harry's Place could be repainted in pink and blue. But in answer to your specific question, Jim Deibel: . . . that is, your question, "Now who the hell would want to be in Beta Theta Pi?" My answer is someone who is color-blind to start . . . ;-)
- Vignette #110: (from Harry) . . . [after discussing problems with printing pages in black and white] . . . I suppose entering jokes we have heard outside the fraternity is strictly not appropriate. Certainly I could tell a lot of Jewish jokes I collected from Jewish friends at NASA and elsewhere, but I don't think they should go in our A D Phi memories collection.
Let me know if you want to hear some anyway. I call them my Jake and Sarah collection--plus there is Jake's business partner, Morris!!
But leave "Harry's Place" much the way it is, with us brothers getting together to share some laughs -- but that's just one brother's input.
- Vignette #111: (from Joe R) Well, to bring this discussion to a close (not likely!), let me just state that whatever you send will get input--essentially unedited! Of course, I'm still waiting for Oreon and Jim to give me a version of "There once was a lady from Azores . . ." so that the "dadada"s could be more easily interpreted by the Brotherhood.
And oh yes, I received a note from Larry Yax in response to the letter and print-out of "Harry's Place" (in black and white) that I mailed out, and he's promised to get active with what we're doing and mail in some vignettes of his own. He has been up to his nose working for the United Way Campaign in his city. Word has it that he's now a red-neck in the Deep South, so watch out for some of his jokes! [Larry: That wasn't serious, you know. I can't even slightly imagine you as a "red neck."]
- Vignette #112: (from Joe R) A side note: I think Larry is one of the senior staff at the school there--a place with the initials "PJC" that I'm only guessing stand for "Pensacola Junior College." Anyway, the "other grandpa" of my youngest granddaughter, Aislyn Ryan, who lives in Arizona also works there and knows Larry Yax. Weird! We haven't met yet, but it was through our A.D.Phi Hudson Chapter reunion in Cleveland and his discussions or whatever with Larry that uncovered the fact that I have a "relative" of sorts working for/with Larry. We almost certainly would never have known each other since his daughter and my son eloped, so there was never a big wedding, etc. With my son living in Phoenix, him living in Pensacola, me here in Seattle and Flo in Tampa--and with twelve kids and countless in-laws or whatever . . . and now, I will probably get together with him sometime over the next year, whereas normally I'd likely never even be corresponding with him, let alone know him. His name is Jim Brady and guess what? He's an Alpha Delt from Cornell--from our era too--and he has been to this website to look up pictures of Larry. I think that's when he made the connection (lots of pictures of our common grandaughter all over the site) and sent me an email out of the clear blue. You just never know, do you? . . .
- Vignette #113: (from Jim) Since there may be a problem in printing in color, will off-color stories print at all?
- Vignette #114: (from Oreon)
Here's something for "Harry's Place". Both Jim Deibel & I think you have been too conservative with "da-da's. After all, the Internet is free speech, and if you're going to be "shocked" in our 60's, shame on you. See if you're comfortable with the ones below "as is." We sang "Red Rydie" verses, we sang "Margie", we sang "Hairy Couch, King of Sin and Vice", and I contributed "Saint Louie SAH." But of all the songs, here are the top three of all time:
Song Three was brought in by Steve North. I don't know if he composed it, but he did introduce it to us all. It is sung to the tune of "finiculee-finicula:
"Last night I stayed at home and mastur . . . dadada . . . edI consider this the third greatest song the fraternity ever sang. The other two were written by Jim Deibel. Number two, in the top Alpha Delt hit songs is sung to the tune of "Smoke gets in your eyes": "I asked this little runt...
It felt so good. I knew it would.
Last night I stayed at home and . . . dadada . . . ed.
It felt so nice. I did it twice.
You oughta see me do it on the short . . . dadada . . .s...
It is so grand. I use my . . . dadada . . .
You oughta see me do it on the long . . . dadada . . . s
It is so neat. I use my . . . dadada . . .
Wham it! Bam it! Slam it on the floor! Knock it! Sock it! Jam it in the door
I know some folks prefer to fornicate.
But for all-around enjoyment,
I prefer to . . . dadada . . .!"
If she had a . . . dadada . . . (Ooooh yeah)
She of course replied . . .
Something in my pants,
Cannot be denied,
She said that it was slick . . .
Referring to my . . . dadada . . . (Ooooh yeah)
I let out a sigh . . .
She let out a cry . . .
I unzipped my . . . dadada . . .
I saw her there,
Her . . . dadada . . . firm and bare. . .
Her . . . dadada . . . so . . . dadada . . .
I was naked too,
As I dropped my shoe,
I said I'm glad . . .
I'm not a faireeee.
She laid down on the sheet NOW, HERE IT IS!!! THE MOST PERFECT, THE MOST CREATIVE, THE MOST MEANINGFUL BRILLIANT ALPHA DELT SONG OF ALL TIME. Also authored by Jim Deibel, it's sung to the Dean Martin song "That's Amore": "When your . . . dadada . . .
lipped in so neat (Ooooh yeah)
She of course replied,
something in my pants Cannot be denied."
Makes her drool
Just like Pasta-Fazoole,
When you . . . dadada . . . on the spot
So she knows
that you're hot
Beds will sway
And she'll say:
'You are quite a . . . dadada . . .."
Then she'll say"
'Be my fella.
Hearts will thump
When you start to . . . dadada . . .
Bump, Bump, Bump, Bump, Bump
And she'll say:
When you lie
in a bed
With her . . . dadada . . . at your head
When the shape
of your nape
Makes her . . . dadada . . . go ape
You're in love!
When you . . . dadada . . . in a dream Joe. I'm sure you can find a place in "Harry's Place" for these wonderful songs. An please....go easy on the "da-da's", cause you'll ruin their artistic essence. I could sing 'em for you and sent them on .WAV files if you wish.
But you know
You're not dreaming
. . . dadada . . . you!
If you wanna go . . . dadada . . .
- Vignette #115: (from Joe R)
You're right! This is America! God save the Queen . . . and her mother! God bless Ronald Reagan, the Libertarian Party and John Kasich. Further, let there be a pox on overly aggressive handgun control and even amendments that ban flag-burning! Political correctness is an abridgement of First Amendment liberties! Hallelujah Hairy Couch! – and BTW, I noticed that you were politically correct in the above vignette, and properly used the word “couch” rather than . . . dadada . . .!
And you might notice I left in your very politically uncorrect use of the word, "fairy" in one of the songs, above. It just happens that I have several friends who are gay and, although that negative reference was pretty common in the 1950's, it is quite hurtful to folks today--and we surely don't know who among the fellowship might be gay. No, I'm not, and furthermore, my religious beliefs are that homosexual activity is an abomination to boot -- but I also believe we should try not to hurt anyone with our words or actions unless that is a necessary deterrent from them hurting us or others.
That said, we must come up with a solution about these songs and other material that could be offensive to some of the fellowship.
I have it! (Actually, I had it before I wrote, "I have it!")
Here's what we'll do . . . I will start a special site for all of our unedited bawdy songs and other . . . uhhh . . . unchaste . . . or possibly offensive materials that might best not be added to our "regular" site. We could call it "Doug's and Jim's Special Place" (or any title you send to me), and I will use your Mindspring address (or Jim's AOL address) as its contact point. For the time, you can't use both addresses because we can only have one contact email address per site until we/you straighten out the rules with Tripod--or any other free website host.
Anyway, if it's all right with both you and Jim, I'll put it up within the week, if you tell me which email address to use. I will include links to the new site immediately after (or just before) each and every song in Harry's Place within which I feel obliged to use ". . . dadada . . ."s. That includes the original Red Rydie verses that I already have stripped of all words that might offend anyone.
That way, only persons who wish to be offended (or titillated) need ever see them. . . . and more important, the overall A.D.Phi site and/or Harry's Place will be safe from being ripped down by the net police or whoever monitors the use of A.D.Phi's letters and symbols.
Your call! Just say the word and let me know which email address to use and I'll have it up this coming weekend. I'll send both you and Jim the "owner's" password of course, should either of you get nervous and want to delete some words, lines or (hopefully) whole songs. I'd be willing to bet that Harry himself would be delighted for such material to suddenly stop appearing in "Harry's Place," but rather be on some nondescript site of its own.
But whatever, neither your full names (nor anyone else’s) will appear anywhere on the new site--only first names, as appropriate—that is, NONE of the other brothers' full names would ever be on the "unedited" site, of course. Those names will remain—as appropriate--on the other A.D.Phi pages currently connected to my website--and ultimately to Alpha Delta Phi's own website--which will continue to have only the standard "heavily edited songs" but with easy-to-find links (right with the songs--either just below the song's title or at the end of each song) to the site with the unedited songs (Jim's and Doug's Special Page" or whatever you tell me to call it). Also, let me know what colors you want, etc.--scribbling on brown paper bags sounds good to me--as well as any other flourishes you may want.
What do you think?
In the meanwhile, while you and Jim think about this and maybe other possible "solutions,", I'll place . . dadada . . .s in the songs you submitted, as necessary.
Oh yes, Doug (and Jim) : In answer to your offer of .wav files, by all means! I'd suggest you either get Tom Lehrer (he'd probably do it) or disguise your voices, such as they may be.
But with the spanking new site I'm suggesting, we'd have plenty of room for four or five megabytes of .wav files. That's a pretty heavy duty audio format--even with some compression--but I have done it (I have at least one and maybe two short .wav's on my home site; for example, the hamster-dance song with the giggling melody lines is not a midi file, but an honest-to-goodness .wav file).
Don't send them to me by email though; it would be best to record them onto floppies--if they'd fit--or CD-ROMs before uploading them to the new site. Among other things, Hotmail has a one Mbyte limitation and surely--I wouldn't want them emailed to SAFECO.
Were you serious, Doug? Can you sing too?
All that said, I don't want my commentary to sound prudish or angry--even in the slightest. I simply think we should be prudent and try to keep the Hudson Chapter Alumni site a place where the entire fellowship feels welcome. I am guilty too, obviously, having included an ethnic joke or two above, so this is as much aimed at myself as anyone. I think we can leave the above material and our discussion of it all in Harry's Place as a testimony to the "learning process" in this endeavor and simply go forward from here--whichever direction that may be!
Comments? Better yet, what about some light stories again, like when you were rushed. What was that about my Producer's Milk truck, Doug?
- Vignette #116: (from Harry)
I just read Oreon's (Doug Winter's) and Joe Ryan's comments about "off color" memories. My first inclination was that we ought not have separate collections. Then I thought maybe we should. It's not that I don't enjoy the off color variety, it's just that I don't think I want to show them to some people like some family members. You know I sent a memory of Don Miller's joke telling and referred to two of his "ethnic" type jokes. But I stopped short of actually telling them.
The one about the Jewish businessmen and their party for their gentile employees is scatological. I would contribute that to the second site. The one about the two black guys arguing over who is the blackest is ethnic (and also scatological). I don't know if it should go on the other site either. We have ethnic jokes, we have black jokes between white people and I am sure there are white jokes between black people. These are things you tell with a group of people standing around that you know. I don't know what is proper when you go "public" on the net. [Referring to this vignette, Harry concluded . . .] - Post [of this] what you want. [Ed. Note: Posted verbatim]
- Vignette #117: (from Oreon) I like your idea about "Doug's & Jim's Dirty Songs Website."
- Vignette #118: (from Joe R) Is this comment yours and Jim's approval to use your Mindspring address to start a new free website? If so, let me know and it will be started forthrightly, forthwith and foreskinny. (not circimcised, you know)
- Vignette #119: (from Oreon) Let me think about that.
- Vignette #120: (from Oreon) My apologies. I just figured out why the "da-da"s are so important to you. As long as the Alpha Delts share your personal website, then all the children get exposed to "That's Amore." I can appreciate why you would never want your kids to know the other (sedate, ha ha) lifestyle you lived in your wild youth.
- Vignette #121: (from Joe R) Youth? What youth?
- Vignette #122: (from Jim) I certainly can understand the insertion of "da-da"s in place of foul words (refer to Vignette #66). In that case I have no objection whatsoever. However, when the words, "Paul," "hand," "who's," "was," "all covered with sores," and "tool" are "da-da"ed -- and the term "cock" as referring obviously to penis is left 'in tact' and out of jock, I became concerned for the editor's literary license. Yuk yuk.
- Vignette #123: (from Joe R) Yippee Jim: Right. Upon rereading the referenced lines and words, I must agree with you. I have never been an editor/censor--unless sports editor of Parma High School's "Hi-Spot" (school paper) counts--and it certainly shows. I can't spell either. But anyway, what's your thought about that "Jim & Doug Site" to which persons can link from our pages to read unedited versions of songs, jokes, etc.?
- Vignette #124: (from Jim) As far as a "Jim & Doug's Place" (or a "Doug & Jim's Place"), I think that's a swell (50s vernacular) idea . . . I'm not exactly sure how you'd do it, but if it requires use of something I have, let me know. I have no problem with that. Xaipe (yippee)
- Vignette #125: (from Joe R) I already have your email address. That will be the "point of contact." As soon as I have a userID and password, I'll pass it/them to both you and Doug. The URL will simply be "http://userID.tripod.com/".
- Vignette #126: (from Harry) The mention of Parma High triggered one more:
I went to Rhodes High School. I had a friend, Bill, who liked to cut school fairly often. One of those "free days" he decided to go see Parma High. (Why one would cut school and go to another, I don't know. It would seem like courting "Double Jeapardy.") Anyway, while he was roaming the halls of Parma High during a class period, he came across two guys carrying a locker down the hall and laughing like Hell. Bill told us about this. He thought they did some pretty cool things at Parma High.
(Actually, I don't think Bill used the word "cool," but that's what he meant. "Cool" has come back in time for my daughter, Kathy, to use it--like it was "cool" that I decided to marry Sylvia and the picture of me being thrown in Wade park Lagoon is "cool," etc. But I am digressing to pad a short story, so I will stop at that.)
A couple of years later, I pledged A.D.Phi along with Joe Szabo, recently having graduated from Parma High School. Naturally, I kidded him about what Bill saw there. Joe's eyes lit up and he said, "That was me and Bob Purpura!"
So that's the story, except to note that Bob Purpura had pledged along with Joe and me. Purpura had, by this time, depledged A.D.Phi and pledged the Phi Gams, so we'll say no more about him.
- Vignette #127: (from Joe R) So!! If this "locker carrying event" took place in 1953, I was maligned by no less than an Alpha Delt named Joe Szabo who ultimately married my sister. Gads! If Mary Lou (or her mother) had known that she might have married Bob Novak, Harry Kautz, Dan Ehlert, Al Hauser, Doug Winter -- or any one of a number of other less scurrilous characters in the fraternity, if they had proposed to her.
As sports writer for the Hi-Spot at Parma, I wrote a little poem for the sports pages. Our Football coach had the name, Bob Brugge, and his team lost almost every game. Also our cross-country team was really Hund-scheizze that year. And the basketball season was to open with a game against West Tech. Anyway, I wrote the following:Brugge's brutal brawny bruisers
Ended up only seven game losers!
The distant track men weren't so fleet,
They finished last in every meet!
So now the Bucket Boys bounce in
But watch out Tech, we're bound to win!
That poem cost me my locker, which was strewn on a gravel track around the football field, and a couple of serious bruises to my face when I confronted a couple members of the football team. (I wasn't smart even then.) Thanks for ratting on Joe Szabo, good friend and informant, Harry Kautz; that "locker incident" has been a mystery for more than 45 years.
And by the way, the above poem, in no way, competes with Jim Deibel's "Amore." That was great!! -- And the unedited version will be up soon on something called, "uneditedADPhi.tripod.com." I'm working the details now. The bigger problem is getting a "Premier Membership" for the Hudson Chapter that will have 22 MBytes allocated to it for the pictures and such.
- Vignette #128: (from Larry) Joe - I am mailing up some of the photos I finally had developed from the reunion. I don't have a scanner, so this is the only way I could get them to you. They should arrive in a few days. . . . Larry. [Ed. Note: This Vignette-not-really was included only to remind any and all of you that I am accepting pictures to be scanned and put onto our webpages--especially any that you have from . . . waaaay baaaack then! Dig in your closets! Pull them out of the hiding places where your wife wouldn't find them! I will return every picture mailed to me after I scan them. Be sure to identify as many of the people in the pictures that you send to me as possible.]
- Vignette #129: (from Jim) [References made to Jim Deibel's album page #25 on the "Old Photos" page--go back one!] The lass with the unlikely name of "Coley Tinney" was a girl from lake Erie College, as was Nancy Simes. Coley and Don Miller dated for about a semester and a half, but at the summer break she wrote a "Dear Don" letter explaining that she could no longer date him (or presumably anyone from our fraternity) because she was a debutante and had to associate with people on her economic level. She left Lake Erie College the next year and Don started dating an amazing Jane Wyman 'look alike' named Libby Reynalds who really was a dish and was madly infatuated with Don.
- Vignette #130: (from Jim) [Reference again made to Jim's album page #25 on the "Old Photos" page--go back one page!] Some people in those photos have escaped my memory, however I do believe the picture with Sid Perzy in it was with Carol Tunder (sp?), his current (and only) wife. But alas, as I have said on so many occasions, my memory sometimes does elude me.
- Vignette #131: (from Joe R) The above comment by Jim Deibel reminds me of something pretty silly in retrospect. For whatever reason, many of the brothers thought that Sid Perzy was "giving himself away too quickly" -- that is he was neglecting the fun of dating all of the girls at St. Luke's Nursing School, Lake Erie College, Parma High School, some sort of "model's school" in Cleveland Heights (the "other" Don), and one of my sisters (of course!), etc. -- and constantly tried to convince him to "cheat" a little on Carol. Sid stuck to his guns, to his credit, and looking back on that photo (and yes, it's Carol!), he was the one with the gorgeous doll already. Besides that, I believe her father owned a bowling alley in Brooklyn (Ohio) somewhere, but will have to wait for Sid to get online here and straighten me out on that. Why in God's name would Sid Perzy have ever wanted to listen to the likes of us, considering the "Don Miller/Coley Tinney memory" in #129, above . . . and so many other sad stories that come to mind? Doug Winter: Whatever became of that chick that you were so infatuated with in 1958-59 or so? I can't even remember her name today--in line with Jim Deibel's perceived poor memory. As regards that bowling alley, Sid was able to get me a "try-out" as a pin-boy. That lasted exactly one night! My arms still hurt. The bowling alley was somewhere way out "west," not far off Brookfield Road, as I remember. But count my memory among some of the other Alzheimer's diseased minds among us.
- Vignette #132: (from Oreon)
When Harry Kautz worked at the print shop, there was an African American woman there named LaVada Fountain. She had huge eyes, that were always at "half-mast". She always looked like she just got out of bed. Based upon an old Eddie Cantor vaudeville routine ("Tomatoes are cheaper, Potatoes are cheaper, now's the time to fall in love...."), he (Harry Kautz) used to sing to her, getting her goat: "LaVada Potata, LaVada Tomata...now's the time to fall in love....". He, of course, punctuated the routine with waving hands and body movement, like it was a stage show. She moved from tolerance to aggravation quickly.
When LaVada was pregnant, as her last name was "Fountain", Harry Kautz also took it upon himself (with my assistance) to help name the new baby. I would say: "How about "Soda" or "Drinking" or "Bubbly". Harry said, no...then he went up to LaVada and told her the she should name her baby "Three Coins in the..." She did not appreciate it.
- Vignette #133: (from Oreon) Also at the Print Shop, a bright attractive woman we all liked (Elaine Monroe Laffler) sat at the reception desk. Harry and I used to flirt around with her 'cause she was pretty and a lot of fun. One day Harry was humming the main theme from Beethoven's Fifth Symphony (Bum Bum Bum Bummmmmmm) but he then put lyrics to it. He was singing "I hate this jobbbbb.... I hate this jobbbbb..... I hate this job I hate this job I hate this job I hate this job I hate this job etc, etc...." Elaine stopped him and said: "Harry, if you keep this up, you'll get fired. Then what will you sing?" To that Harry replied (sung to the second theme in Beethoven’s Fifth)...."Now I need another jobbbbbb..."
- Vignette #134: (from Oreon)
Harry Kautz liked to imitate the sounds of the machines at the print shop. There are three I remember: First was the Addressograph machine, as it sucked up metal plates and stamped addresses on envelopes going by on a conveyer. Harry made this sound: "Kuthunka Kuthunka Kuthunka Kuthunka Kuthunka Kuthunka." Second was the collator. This was an extremely "low tech" device that had "pockets for 20 stacks of (8-1/2 x 11) paper (10 on each side), and you would push pedals to shove out the top paper from each pile where you could grab them and jog them into a pile. I can't remember the sound Harry did for that one. [Need your help here, friend and informant, Harry!] The third, and Harry's favorite, was Agnes Drantz's "typing machine". She would place a pack of papers (1000 sheets) on a table, press a button, and an arm would come down threaded with some heavy duty string, and tie the string tightly around the paper, knotting it and then cutting the string in one operation. Harry would imitate this one visually. He would hold up his right arm, arc his finger like the end of the (mechanical) arm, then bring his arm down with a screeching sound (the machine needed oiling badly), simulate the tying operation, and return his arm to the upright position.
- Vignette #135: (from Oreon)
By the way, "Harry's Place" reminded me of "On Moonlight Bay" with the moustaches. I forgot that one for 42 years. The toehr sone [Ed. Note: Doug: what are the two preceding words? "toe-in song"? I'll correct them when you pop them to me.] we sang, to Joe Szabo's direction:
"We Come, we come we come we come we come we come we come we come we come
with a Shout and Song
Singing always, as we go marching on...
We are a merry, happy-go-lucky throng
In Alpha Delta Phi."
- Vignette #136: (from Joe R) Need your help, Harry Kautz, to fill in some of the blanks in Oreon's latest entries (just above). Also, wasn't Elaine (or Elain) Monroe Laffler the same "Elaine Monroe" whom every red-blooded Parma High senior and junior was in love with? I think she was in my high school class or the high school class just before me. She was definitely a part of the WRU scene in later years (while we were there), but I only vaguely remember her working in the print shop--and as for her marrying someone named, "Laffler"? No memory of that at all! Hell, she came to one of our parties while she was pinned to a Phi Gam, no? Whoever that fellow named "Don" was, he sure had balls, didn't he? Does anyone remember him--he never actually joined A.D.Phi, but was a part of the scene for at least a semester or two. Elaine also showed up at various other events like the IFC Dance as I recall.
Also, thanks again for informing on Joe Szabo -- he might have maintained that horrid secret for another 45 years, the rat! Carrying my locker out to the gravel running track -- whatta fiend! One never knows the evil that lurks in the hearts of seemingly benign sweet people, eh?
Take care and keep the good memories coming, Harry. You were one of the very few on that wonderful video that Doug Winter made for us (Christ Koconis, Bob Novak and Ray Jablonski being a couple or so of the others) who hasn't changed an iota. How do you do it?
- Vignette #137: (from Harry) Ah yes, Elain Monroe worked at the Print Shop. I had forgotten
her name in my story about the Owl. And yes, it was she to whom the beans were
spilt. Laffler was the Phi Gam she was at that time pinned to.(I don't
know about the syntax in that - but you get the idea.)
Thanks for the compliment about not changing. I got married a second time
in 1997. (That's Sylvia.) We make each other quite happy. That helps my
outlook on life I guess.
I think I mentioned earlier that the red wagon story comes out of an autobiography I wrote for my children. That probably got me into
the state of remembering things from the past.
Thank you for making all this communication possible. You sure have not changed. I feel we have developed a meeting of minds that is very valuable to me.
- Vignette #138: (from Joe R) Yes, I feel that meeting of the minds also -- and I feel that there are many other "spiritual" synergies brewing among the Brotherhood out there that will suddenly blossom forward when Harry's Place attains its potential and reaches critical mass, so to speak. I'll bet there are some really interesting stories among those included in the autobiography that you wrote for your children. What a wonderful and thoughtful thing to do!
And now, yes, it's coming through . . . the faint recollection of my conversation with Elaine Monroe pertaining to Phi gams and owls and . . . omigod! It might indeed have been me who . . . uhhh . . . (to use your words) "spilt the beans." (I was infatuated with her at the time, so I have a teenie-weenie excuse, didn't I?) But I'm still almost sure that she was at a party at our fraternity house during which she heard it first . . . from someone else who was probably loaded at the time, and that's how the subject came up later in the print shop. She was simply verifying what she had heard. Yes . . . yes . . . the memory is strengthening on that affair now . . . yes, indeed!
At least I didn't hide someone's locker on him and then keep my mouth shut for 45 years like some brother-in-law I can think of . . . and I'd never lead a group of fraternity brothers repetitiously singing, "We come" . . . over and over again. It's a wonder we weren't thrown out of school for such an obscene display. Revolting! (Thanks, Oreon, for spilling the beans on that one!)
- Vignette #139: (from Harry)
I didn't look at the new entries in Harry's Place until after I saw your
last E-mail. Oreon's addition has shaken loose a couple of more memories.
There was a folding machine I imitated as "ca-puta, ca-puta". It reminded
me of the name of a cute little Italian girl who worked there. She was
Carol Caputo I think.
There was also an Afro-American girl whom the others called "Corny". Her name was really Connie. I remember at one time putting a ruler down the front of her blouse and whipping it around a little bit. She didn't seem to mind, but then Miss Coine, the boss, told me we shouldn't upset Corny because she had some problems. So I never did that again.
Then there was Francis Fennie. She worked in the addressograph with Mrs Gargulo(sp?). She is hard to describe. Guys were of the opinion that she wasn't too bad looking from the neck down. Francis had a speech impediment that made her hard to understand.
- Vignette #140: (from Harry)
The strategy at the Print Shop was always to get to work on the addressograph
machine because you would automatically get a raise. Then after you got the raise you would manage to get back into collating where there was more fun. I remember two different non-student guys who worked on the addressograph. Their strategy was to get experience on the machine and then get a job with
The second of these was Dan Conky who had a 'suped-up' 57 Chevy that he raced
around the eastside all night. He would go to Wade Drug on breaks with us.
He made out with one of the waitresses there. He made a date with her and
didn't show up. He stayed away from Wade Drug and he wanted me to tell her
he had been in a terrible accident. But I didn't do that.
- Vignette #141: (from Jim)
Our memories are really our memories, but nonetheless, a few minor corrections to Harry's stories about the printshop. (I know, the printshop was not the fraternity, but since so many of us wound up working there...Don Miller, Russ Egolf, Mike Deibel, Me, Harry Kautz and even Horny John White for a while, I'm including the stories.)
Frances Fenley was an (at that time) older singer woman [Ed. Note: For the rest of us, Jim, what exactly is a "singer woman"? See #143 below; the word is "single."] who had a speech impediment. Also, no one could accuse her of being very attractive. She used to work on the Addressograph Graphotyper and always had cotton in her ears but managed, despite all the racket she made on the Graphotyper, to hear everyones' conversations and would from time to time come out and invite herself into the conversations.
"Corny," whose given name was Coranell Warner was indeed a black lady and had a multiplicity of problems. 1) she wore too much perfume...you could smell her coming up Bellflower; and 2) she didn't particularly like most white people. She, along with Louise Morris (who was another black lady who secretly was taking courses to become a teacher and the year I graduated, she, in fact, did become a teacher) were probably the best multilith operators in the place.
My memories of Miss Coine (Clareconsuelo Coine) were always that she was larger than life, being about six and one-half feet tall and wearing wedgies. When my father was in Huron Road Hospital sometime before he died, Miss Coine was the receptionist at the visitor counter, and I was amazed that she was only about 5 feet tall and extremely diminutive. Funny how perceptions are eh?
- Vignette #142: (from Joe R) Yes, the Printshop was a special place all right. I don't believe I ever worked there on a regular basis--except for a possibly very short period at the beginning of the summer of 1957, but always seemed to be dropping something off or picking something up there. Of course, I enjoyed chatting with Elaine Monroe and even enjoyed Miss Coine, whom if you recall, had a funny sense of humor of her own. I only asked Elaine out once and was turned down because she said she was "going steady" (a term I have almost forgotten) with someone else. I think she looked at the skinny little guy with no shoulders who was asking her out and came up with the best excuse she could in a short time. She was pinned by the Phi Gam some months after that. Miss Coine actually liked "our gang" of Alpha Delts and gave us a lot of latitude as regards the crazy things that went on there. I don't remember John White at all. Did he pledge Alpha Delta Phi for awhile? And who was the "Don" who brought Elaine to one of our parties after she was pinned? He either lived in our house as a renter, or was in some other way "associated" with us, but I sure can't remember anything else about him except that he was a ladies man all the way. I believe he was a graduate student in the business school.
- Vignette #143: (from Jim)
Single Joe, single as in unmarried, spinster, bachelorette, or vestal virgin. ref: vignette #141...I haven't checked, but I'll check my sent mail to see if I did something dumb like putting in singer woman (altogether possible.) [Ed. Note: Must be, since I simply "copy and paste" entries, then make changes where I can . . . or sometimes have to. I really did look over all of the keys on the keyboard around the letters used, making substitution after substitution, and came up with a best guess of "sinner" -- but felt a little cherry about putting that word into the vignette without knowing the person involved. And yes, in retrospect, I should have guessed "single." Sorry about that!]
- Vignette #144: (from Jim) Since I checked my sent mail, I see where I did indicate "singer" woman. You ought to take literary license when you see goofs and put "da-da's" in, y'know, like when somebody puts f*** or s*** in their vignette. Yippee, and in the Bonds...keep up die guten arbeiten (my Deutch ain't so gut) [Ed. Note: Danke . . . und neider ist mein . . . und dat's nach da lieben fu:r achten Jahren sie das USAF's "Chief Scientist" for all of Western Europe -- Scary, huh? :-)]
- Vignette #145: (from Oreon) [In response to my question about why John was videotaped in the hospital . . .]
I guess you didn't get the word at the reunion. John Zachary (Zychowski) was really gung ho about the reunion. He's the one who talked Ray Jablonski into coming when Ray was on the fence, offering to put Ray up at his place. Ray got to the airport and, after one hour with no one to meet him, called John's home only to find out that John had a heart attack THE DAY OF THE REUNION and was rushed to the hospital. It turned out to be mild, and he actually bugged his doctor to let him out (after only one day) to go to Nick's house for the Saturday party. Loosely translated, I understand the doctor said: "Are you out of your f***in' mind? You're a doctor and ought to know better!" I called the hospital and talked to the nurses, before I left for Atlanta, and asked if John could get visitors. Then I went in and filmed him (2 days after the attack).
- Vignette #146: (from Jim)
Referencing the question in vignette #142, "Who was John White?" I guess you don't remember John Whitehorn who pledged and went through Hell Week with Bob Novak. Because it was our wont, we always nicknamed people (Joseph T. Bone, or 'Pinky' for example) and we nicknamed John Whitehorn, "Horny John White." I know, I know, its stupid, but that's what we did...some stupid things at times. At any rate, Bob Novak told me that John dropped out of Hell Week because he had to go to his grandmother's funeral. Bob said that he never saw anyone so happy to hear someone had died. At any rate, John Whitehorn never did finish Hell Week and I don't think he ever came back.
- Vignette #147: (from Jim) And (I know, don't start a sentence with a conjunction) that reminds me of another pledge that never got to or through Hell Week at our house on E.117th. The fellow's name was Jan Dybo. His claim to fame was one night he went out and removed virtually every sign from every building on campus plus some of the plaques on the various fraternity houses with their Greek letters. We then managed to "panel" one of the rooms in the basement with the signs. For some reason he got blackballed and thrown out of the fraternity. I seem to think it was I who blackballed him, but I don't quite remember why because that might have been the only blackball I ever threw.
Oh well...another item bursting to light from long forgotten memories.
- Vignette #148: (from Petrovich)
Great hearing from you. Equally great is my sorrow at not being able to make the reunion just held. I have periodic asthma attacks that require inhalers like Albuterol, Ventolin and other epinesphrine-based drugs. I’ve never tried mixing alcohol with these but undoubtedly, I’ll “give it a whirl” before I’m planted.
I have 23 cats and kittens (fuzzies). Eight are in the house; the other fifteen are outside with access to a heated garage where they are fed. The garage door is blocked open about five inches for them to enter and leave for protection and/or relieving themselves. Most all of them have been named. I wait one year before naming them due to the premature death caused by feline infectious peritonitis. Most all of them are cuddly critters (long-hair tigers). I’ve spent thousands of dollars trying to save them from various disasters, and in most cases the results were favorable.
Regarding enjoyable experiences, the epitome of them was based upon the quality of membership at the frat house. Every single member with whom I [. . . Dave Uscheek] interfaced was a pleasure in their own way. Whatever experiences I relay are only secondary in pleasure and importance.
Nevertheless, I’ve included a couple of hilarious remembrances that are hopefully entertaining.
- Vignette #149: (from Petrovich)
My most profound act of stupidity and hilarity involved a sociology professor named Dr. Bush. He was hard of hearing and required an amplifier with leads going to both ear plugs. This is the course where my bird imitations had the class in an uproar during the spring months when the windows were open. On one occasion, I was called on to answer a question which I began answering by just moving my lips (no sound though). Dr. Bush thought that his volume control was set too low. After I saw him turn the volume control knob upward on his unit, I bellowed the answer, causing him to grab his ears and yank the plugs.
I thought I was going to be expelled, but he was kind enough to imply that he had inadvertently turned his volume control too high during the initial startup.
- Vignette #150: (from Petrovich)
Another great episode, which didn’t involve me, refers to the time when Doug Winter would occasionally get up in the middle of the night, sneak down to the kitchen with a vacuum cleaner, cleverly turn the lights on and watch where a mouse might be running. He would then immediately plug in the unit, send the tube wherever the mouse might be hiding and “floop,” it would go into the bag.
After collecting two or three in a milk bottle, we decided to have some additional fun. Someone poured them into a bucket with some ammonia. After one of them staggered out, Nick Romito jumped and landed dead-center on one. I laughed so hard, I had to check my pants.
After continuing to collect such mice, we occasionally put our collection in a milk bottle which ended up hanging on a kitchen wall. After one such occasion, Cynthia, our cook, was never to be seen again.
Oh well, I guess that I’d better let you all get back to normality. I hope that all who read this are as well as can be expected.
Yup well, “poop-aahhhhh” . . . Pigovich Upchuk, the Turd
- Vignette #151: (from Joe R)
Well, Petrovich (Dave Uscheek) opened a can of worms with his discussion of the cats for whom he cares. I too am a "cat lover," if such can be said of anyone. I have five "inside cats" and countless "outside cats" who depend upon me for food and love. On a cats-per-square-foot basis, I probably beat out Petrovich who at least lives in a house. I have the five in a two-bedroom apartment and, to make matters worse, have to keep four of them in my bedroom 100% of the time because (1) George, a middle-aged Tom, doesn't get along with Lady Schwarzkopf who is getting up in age and (2) the apartment management only knows about the 'one' cat I admitted to when I moved in.
All five have lived in three countries and have passports, would you believe. Petrovich mentioned "thousands of dollars." Well, I have never put it all together, from vets to trans-oceanic plane rides, but it adds up -- so I guess I'm not one to say what constitutes foolish expenditures for animals. Lady Schwarzkopf not only has no claws, for instance, but has no teeth either--not a one! That was an expensive proposition some years ago (in Saudi Arabia not long after Gulf Storm) when she was discovered to have a rare gum disease that had infested every one of her then remaining teeth. I picked her up about a year before the war as a full-grown cat in an alley not far from where a lot of scuds landed and she had been an alley cat in a pretty awful area for some time. That was likely when she picked up the infection and it festered beneath the teeth without my noticing. She was great company on those nights that the Scuds were raining down on us and our Patriot SAMs were . . . well, using fuel and providing interesting test data for my computer models. Well, that's not exactly a memory from Bellflower or E. 117th Street, but you now have a better picture of just how far some of us have come in forty years. Any more cat stories out there? What have others of you been doing over the past four decades?
- Vignette #152: (from Harry)
Cats. Well the sad fact is that I am allergic to cats. Dogs too.
So I can't have either as a pet. Some people would say "Oh, so you don't
like cats & dogs!" This is not true. I just can't help it. I first noticed
it in an election year, probably 1952, when Stevenson was running against
Eisenhower. My folks favored Adlai Stevenson and when we got a cat we named him
"Stevie" after our candidate. Stevenson lost the election (said he was too
big to cry and too disappointed to laugh), and Stevie made me sneeze and my
eyes run all the time. The doctor said we must give away the cat.
The next big encounter was living at Baracelli's. You may remember she had a dog named "Lampo". Lampo means lightning in Italian. Poor old Lampo didn't have much lightning left and at first he didn't bother my breathing much. Then Mrs. Petriconi (sp) got a cat. (Funny how she spells her name with an "sp" at the end.) The cat really got to me. So Mrs. Baracelli made her get rid of the cat. (I noticed then that Lampo bothered me too but Baracelli was not about to get rid of him).
In later years it developed more into asthma. Of course, I got tested at the Clinic and went through desensitizing shots for years. They really helped some. I can now visit people with cats or dogs and only get temporarily uncomfortable.
So that's the sad story of me & cats.
- Vignette #153: (from Joe R) Yes, Mrs Petracconi (sp?) had a cat, but I think she may have actually kept him/her hidden for awhile because I remember asking her about her cat once and she acted pretty antsy when she said it was "fine." I think she was wondering why I asked--and I wondered too, because I thought about it later and "knew" she no longer had the animal. And yes, isn't it funny how Mrs. Petriconni (sp?) always spells her name with that (sp?) at the end. Dr. (not Mrs!) Barraccelli (sp?) too. Remember? She was also a professor (she taught Italian and Romance Languages--don't ask me how Italian got confused with the romance languages) at WRU. But thanks for bringing up politics, Harry. Having become a Libertarian while I was in Nam, I am allergic to both Democrats and Republicans, but can visit their cats if the owner(s) stay in the bathroom while I'm visiting -- excepting other Libertarians, of course.
- Vignette #154: (from R. Stanley) [Ed. Note: R. Stanley is our own Bob Novak, for those who may have come to A.D.Phi later] Well I am finally responding to Joe Ryan's snotty requests for life with the Alpha Delts, circa the late fifties. You will note that I'm copying [email cc'ing] Doug Winter on this since one of the stories has to do primarily with Joe Ryan and not that I think that he would edit my copy to make himself look better . . . but there is a lot of revisionist history going around these days and I feel better with Doug Winter as a corroborating witness!
Actually I've had a hard time coming up with strictly chapter related
stories and I think it's primarily due the the fact that I didn't live in
the house and I always had a part time job during school.
Before I begin, has anyone identified my date in the IFC picture? I absolutely don't have a clue and its driving me crazy trying to remember who she is.
Whatever pictures I might have had of the chapter I'm afraid are gone. I went through all of my old photos and couldn't come up with one. The only ones I still have from those days were pictures taken at Joe Ryan's parents home and those are mostly of Mary Lou.
Anyway, here"s a couple of memories . . .
- Vignette #155: (from R. Stanley)
We used to periodically arrange "theatre parties" which consisted of the brothers and their dates meeting at some movie theatre and after the movie stopping some place for something to eat after the show. The one that stands out in my mind is the time that we agreed to meet downtown to see a movie at the State Theatre.
Besides ourselves, I recall Don Miller, Russ Egolf,
Joe Szabo and I think Jim Beveridge being there plus a few more
couples. Before we met we had all agreed that the movie we wanted to see was the one playing at the State. At the agreed upon time, everone showed up and we
were about to get in line to buy our tickets when Joe Ryan started to agitate for the movie at the Palace, saying it was a much better movie and every one he knew was raving about it .
Finally after getting tired of Joe going on about the Palace movie, we finally agreed to head down there and see that movie.
While everyone was in line for tickets I noticed that Joe Ryan was holding back
buying the his tickets. I commented on this to Mary Lou Ryan and she
replied that maybe it was because Joe had forgotten his free passes to the Palace theatre! We ended up seeing a real dog of a movie at the Palace because Joe had free tickets!
- Vignette #156: (from R. Stanley) I remember the run to the cemetery since it took place during my hell week. John Whitehorn and I were going through and I [Bob Novak] remember being stopped twice by the police during the run and I think they followed us for a period of time. I definitely remember the group of black kids throwing
stones and bottles at us and of Joe Ryan, after parking his car, going up to them to ask if they had seen us. My recollection is that they were so startled that they pointed us out down the street and waited until Joe reached us and then resumed throwing things at us. I don't think we ever found Eels'
grave that night. [Ed. Note: Sam Eells spelled his name with two l's which every good pledge had to learn . . . but not necessarily remember. I didn't remember that either until it was pointed out to me by Jim Deibel, I believe.]
- Vignette #157: (from R. Stanley)
On the last day of our hell week, I still remember John Whitehorn charging up to me and shouting in a happy and excited voice "my grandmother
died! I' m through with hell week!" That night it ended for me with Dan
Ehlert and I think Jim Deibel taking me to a restaurant where I proceeded to eat two Big Boy sandwiches.
That's all for now guys. Happy Thanksgiving!! . . . R. Stanley
- Vignette #158: (from Joe R) Revisionist history indeed! The only editing that ever takes place are obvious misspellings and the modifications of you's and I's to third person or actual full names in accordance with a request by Doug Winter and/or Jim Deibel some time back--so as to highlight entire names and thus, identify roughly the time period of the event.
But seriously, I only copy and paste all email and carefully transcribe snail-mail so as not to lose the flavor that the "author" intended. As for those free passes, yes, that's true . . . but -- I had heard that the other movie was better and thought I'd share my knowledge with my brothers -- free of charge! I was always doing little things like that for the good of the brotherhood.
- Vignette #159: (from Oreon) I just had an idea about how to handle dirty songs. Harry Kautz mentioned he just
didn't want his family to see them. How about this: We record them all, even Red Rydie verses, and you set up a "songs" portion of the web page, before the list of selectable titles, with a preface (with audio & text) that "Reads people their rights". It will say: "The following selections contain lewd and vulgar material that may be offensive to you. Should you continue, you are properly warned."
It's kind of like printing warning labels on Gangsta Rap CD's. Then, if
someone goes ahead and is still offended, . . . dadada . . . 'em.
What do you think? . . . Oreon (Protect the First Amendement!)
- Vignette #160: (from Joe R) A text file of the unedited lyrics will be possible on its own site once I get the okay from Tripod. It's unwise to put it on either this site or the "official" Hudson Chapter Alumni site, once up, so as to avoid having everything torn down should someone complain about lewd and/or obscene material on a free Tripod site. That's the rub.
As for the audio portion, I think that's almost impossible within any of the megabyte limitations imposed upon "free" sites. If we bought a commercial site, we could possibly do what you suggest, but the intent was to keep this entire enterprise free. Audio files of voices (lyrics are the whole point of this discussion) range from a Megabyte to a Megabyte and a half for only 50-60 seconds. That's why all of the music you hear on any of the "Old Man Joe" pages are Midi files (almost no .Wav files) that do no more than repeat simple melodies with simple frequencies--usually a single musical instrument with no harmonics. It might be better to record and distribute the songs much like you (Doug) distributed the reunion videotape. I, for one, would be glad to pay my share for such a tape or CD. What do the rest of you think?
- Vignette #161: (from Oreon)
Steve North has enlightened us all that a serious study was once conducted concerning "lighing farts". Apparently the study concluded that there are only two kinds of people: Blue Flamers and Orange Flamers. The study concluded that whether your personal signature was a blue or orange flame,
you would carry it with you your whole life, like a fingerprint. In other
words, if you were a blue flamer in college, you would still be a blue flamer at 80 years old. There apparently is no crossing over. [Ed. Note: Perhaps Harry Kautz can "enlighten" us on this vis-a-vis some NASA studies on going back and forth in time. Later: See Vignette #164, below.]
I only witnessed one experience of "fart lighting" at the Fraternity House on Bellflower. Apparently, the year after I left it became a major sport. What I saw, and vividly remember, is that one of our brothers laid down on the couch, fully clothed, and another brother flicked a zippo, and presto: A flame that lasted abut 1/2 second flared brightly. It was about 10 inches wide, and about 8 inches high. It was flat, like a personal fan, and the 10 inch portion was in line with the brother's body length. The base of the flame was about 2 inches above the brother's ass, as I assume the gas was all in the open, before it ignited.
Now for the identity of the brother: If not for the fact that I know Bob
Novak graduated from Western Reserve University, I would have assumed that
we went to Syracuse...as he is definitly an "Orangeman".
- Vignette #162: (from Joe R) Doug Winter (Oreon, above) opened up the can of worms known as "experimental physics." Following Oreon's lead, I wrote an email to Harry Kautz asking if he could get NASA to redo the Morleson-Michaels . . . or is it Fuddelson-Morkly? well, you know . . . the one where they tried to find the ether at Case Tech a few years back. Anyway, I suggested a different possible result if they ran the Michaelson-Morley (sp?) experiment normal to the earth's center rather than parallel to the earth's surface. This is in accordance with some of the papers reached from those "mysterious buttons" on my front page, one of which is one for which I did some of the (high school algebra level) mathematics--the one by Henry Lindner, an M.D. of all things, and a close friend of mine in Saudi Arabia while I was in the Middle East for about eight years.
But whatever, Harry Kautz continues . . .
- Vignette #163: (from Harry) I just printed out the Lindner writeup [See front page of website]. I quickly read through it but I will have to go back again. I have a problem with the hadrons "sucking up" space. I kept asking myself is space not conserved? Where does it go? come from? Near the end he associates the accumulation of space with atomic decay and the end of the universe. I have a hard time thinking of the hadron slowly accunmulating space and not showing a change until the final decay.
Section 3.7 is difficult. If we could suddenly tear off the top half of the earth would the underlying core, being exposed to more "space", behave much different from what conventional physics assumes?
I am thinking also about hadrons being fundamentally different from other particles.
He can do what he wants with neutrinos. I've never liked them.
I am not rejecting this work, just telling you my first impressions. I think it was in the Feynmann lectures that he raises other theories to explain the null ether experiments. He accepts relativity because it seems the simplest. I guess that's what physics always does, accept the simplest model.
I don't think I can get NASA to redo the Morkelson Melee (or whatever) until our rockets start to approach relative velocities. We're not too close yet.
I actually did the Michelson-Morley twice in WRU physics labs. Once, (I
think with Paul Meiland) we did it with radio waves. On that occasion we
found an ether drift. What with the nature of the equipment and the fact that we were mere students, they wouldn't let us publish. Our professor, a
Joe Weinberg had a vested interest in relativity, namely a limerick:
There was a young fellow named Fisk,
Whose approach to ladies was brisk,
But the speed of his action,
and the Lawrence contraction,
Turned his cylinder into a disk.
So all is politics.
At U. of Minnesota I got into solid state physics. This led, at NASA, to
working with silicon solar cells and eventually solid ionic conductors.
After that, a Weinberg course on wave theory got me into ultrasonics which
is my final resting place. I might have gotten into theorizing on
relativety et al except that I was working with a fellow named Joe Singer
and we were big on puns and music. Joe got me into the late Beethoven
quartets and sonatas. Joe passed away recently and left me much of his record
collection. It's a nice rememberance of someone who influenced me a lot. But not in relativity.
- Vignette #164: (from Joe R)
Some observations relative to the experimental physics/chemistry exteriments conducted by Alpha Delts in times past is in order here. Doug Winter suggested in Vignette #161 that "there is no crossing over." That is simply not so, and had he solicited an eighty year-old subject, he would likely have discovered that it isn't so. Among my many pursuits was a period during which I taught both chemistry and physics in the evening at Wayne State University. (Please don't barf, Harry!) This was while I was otherwise engaged full-time leading an effort related to vehicle survivability at the Tank-Atomotive Command in Detroit (actually, Warren), Michigan in the late 70s. Having twelve children to feed inspires one to new heights as regards second jobs, and such.
But I digress.
As you probably recall from the courses we were force-fed at WRU, when elements in blowing flatus are lighted with a Zippo lighter, they are excited. Thus, as they move from one energy level to another, they emit photons of light. Of course, these photons have different colors--depending upon the particular elements and their discrete energy levels. Each element in the Periodic Table [Ref. Tom Lehrer's song, The Elements," sung to a tune written by the great semi-Irish (right, Harry Kautz?) composer Sir Arthur Sullivan--see some of the Vignettes above; in particular, Vignette #88] has its own set of levels, so to speak, and thus will have its own color.
Potassium produces blue and Sodium produces orange, to focus on the colors observed by Doug Winter and others at Alpha Delta Phi during their seminal Second Millennium wind-blowing experiments.
Generally, as people age, they have to reduce their intake of common salt (sodium chloride) and typically increase their intake of potassium chloride--some do this simply to reduce cramps at night, such as I do. Clearly, this would affect the gases produced in the stomach and intestines, and thus, be reflected in the flames produced when such gases are emitted (breaking wind, so to speak) and then lighted with a Zippo lighter.
I suggest that Doug Winter solicit Bob Novak in order to repeat the experiment conducted 39 years ago. This could be accomplished when Oreon visits his sister in Cleveland in a week or so. I predict that the gases emitted will be blue. Any takers?
- Vignette #165: (from Harry)
The Doug Winter-Bob Novak experiment seems critical. Another explanation to the color effect might be the heat of the flame. The orange sodium "D line" is very prominent in most flames because it is so strong and sodium is so common. (Actually, I've always thought of potassium as sort of red). The greater the heat the more excited the sodium (or any atom) gets. Eventually higher electron transitions get important. They emit shorter wave length light (like blue). Note that natural gas burns blue. A solid object, as it is heated, starts to glow at the red end of the spectrum and progresses to blue-violet, then into ultraviolet, so maybe some people produce a hotter flame than others--possible due to more oxygen in the fuel they provide. Do old men produce a hotter flame? Hard to believe old men are hotter at anything. Is it really a red potassium? Would mean old men fire off a flame that is less hot? Don't like to think that way at this stage of life – but maybe. Let me know what happens. . . . Harry Kautz
P S: Note that the Potassium outer shell electron is bound with less energy than its counterpart in sodium. That's because there is an extra shell of inner electrons between it and the nucleus--same charge but extra distance.
- Vignette #166: (from Joe R)
I must agree with Harry Kautz that a repeat of the seminal Second Millennium Winter-Novak Experiment is in order. Many issues are left in the air, so to speak--no pun intended, with the main questions relating to the composition of the gases typically found in Bob Novak’s stomach and intestines. How much potassium and how much chlorine are in the proper proportions to allow for exiting gases to contain particulates of potassium chloride—which burns blue? Does Bob still use Sodium Chloride to salt his food?
It may be necessary to call n the services of Christ Koconis, Ray Jablonski and/or Al Hauser to perform minor surgery on Bob Novak to test the gases while still in a native state in Bob’s stomach and intestines. This will probably require Brenda Novak’s signed approval, but that should be uncomplicated. She has undoubtedly been wondering herself whether Bob’s truly an “Orangeman,” as suggested by Doug Winter in his preliminary findings.
Recognizing that this might take some time (getting the appropriate doctors present, approvals signed, etc.), I look forward to the seminal Third Millennium Winter-Novak Flatus-hue Experiment to be the highlight of our next reunion. Perhaps Mary Lou Szabo (nee Ryan) will again attend and adjudicate any disagreements relative to the color(s) of the flame emitted. Does anyone own a Zippo lighter?
- Vignette #167: (from Harry)
I know you guys are anxious to tear into Bob Novak's intestines, but as we like to say in the space business: "let's just get ignition and see where we go from there." Reading earlier entries [Vignette #161] on the subject I was kind of relieved that this can be performed through the trousers. I remember Al Hauser doing the experiment in his bed, but it was not through his trousers. It was not through anything at all. I don't remember if it was orange or blue--probably because the whole business was hard to look at.
- Vignette #168: (from Joe R) Similarly, the test was conducted with Jon Dworkin in the manner of Vignette #167, above, except that Jon simply dropped his trousers and bent over in the front room. I think that either Al Hauser or that Italian friend of Joe Szabo's -- another pre-law student, as was also (I believe) Jon Dworkin -- lit the lighter. I remember too that neither Don Miller nor Jim Deibel liked Jon hanging around our fraternity house so much, but I don't recall what it was about him that they didn't like or maybe only why they didn't want him around so much. Many of the others agreed with them, but I can't remember which brothers were pro or against Jon Dworkin. He was kind of a slob, as I recall, but that's about all I remember about him. I can't even remember which of the brothers was his entree into the house.
And by the way, I too forget the exact color of the flame, and for the same reason as Harry Kautz gave above vis-a-vis the Al Hauser "experiment." And that's why the Winter-Novak Experiment is still regarded as the seminal Experimental Physics Experiment of the Second Millennium--and why a repeat of that experiment is so important.
Although Jon's first name is spelled without ah "h", I might have the last name spelled incorrectly. What ever became of Jon Dworkin?
And of even more importance, how did we ever let Doug Winter redirect Harry's Place into the realm of experimental physics? First Harry Kautz brings up politics (something about Adlai Stevenson, as I recall), then Doug Winter gets us off and running in Experimental Physics. What next? Classical music? Renaissance architecture?
- Vignette #169: (from Harry)
And indeed why not classical music and renaissance architecture? We were into intellectual pursuits during our WRU days. Are we not a literary society? (160 some vignettes in about two months speaks of that.) I remember a literary meeting we had in which I presented a paper related to the decline of the fraternity system, especially at Reserve. I suggested the big and small fraternities unite on some level as a sort of fraternity of fraternities for strength and the common good. This would of course be especially good for us because we were a small fraternity. Joe Szabo leaped to his feet in excitement. He wanted to take my idea and run with it. I figured what the hell, take it! All I was doing was fulfilling a literary meeting requirement, and Joe Szabo sounded like he was going to make the world safe for Alpha Delta Phi.
What came of it was an enlarged version of my paper which served Joe in a subsequent literary meeting and in some course he was taking. Well, you know lawyers. I am glad you mentioned Jon Dworkin. I was trying to remember his name about a week ago. I have since this year a son-in-law named Jon. He is nothing like Dworkin. Jon Dworkin was hard to like for reasons that are hard to explain. He was really a very gentle kindly fellow but still hard to like. My son-in-law is (thank heaven) easy to like. He has a bachelor’s in astronomy. (If anyone knows of a job in astronomy let me know. He is presently at Border's)
At the time we knew Jon Dworkin he got in trouble with his grandmother because she caught him in the shower with a girl friend. I met a tall redhead through Jon Dworkin. (I'm pretty sure she was not the same as the shower girl.) I had a couple of dates with the red head and then she was going out of town for about three months. In those days you didn't wait three months. But then there was Sally Stearns. She was one of the Lake Erie college girls from Painesville. She was from Rumsford, Maine. We wrote to each other for a summer. Maybe too bad it ended. Her father was a rich papermill owner who polluted the streams of Maine. I could probably have overlooked the pollution for a rich father-in-law.
The only other topic is the millennium. I believe that the new millennium and the 21st century both begin on Jan. 1, 2001. My son-in-law does too. At least he tells me he does, and that's what matters.
- Vignette #170: (from Joe R) Oh no, not one of those! Were the Wise Men at the manger trying to convince Mary and Joseph that the First Century would have to wait until Jesus was a full year old? Or that it began a full year earlier, for whatever reason? And if we're in the Twentieth Century now--during the twentieth 100-year period after Jesus was born, what does Harry Kautz propose we call the year between January 1, 2000 and January 1, 2001? Can the world stand two Twentieth Centuries--or a century with 101 years? Besides, could we ever get Bob Novak and Doug Winter to wait an entire year so as to conduct the seminal (notice, I like that word? It's derived from semen.) Third Millennial Gas-lighting Experiment? Bob's been eating cabbage and black beans ever since he heard that he was going to be called upon in two Millennia in a row to conduct this experiment with Doug Winter and the Zippo lighter. Is Harry Kautz suggesting that poor R. Stanley Snowflake hold all of the gas generated for another entire year?
But we still don't know how Jon Dworkin ever managed to become part of the Alpha Delta Phi legacy . . . or whatever became of him. Was he a friend of Joe Szabo's? And how did a big-mouthed slob like Jon Dworkin ever get a girl into a shower with him. She must have been fully dressed. Then again, if we can conduct wind-breaking (and lighting) experiments/contests with our trousers on, maybe we can do other things fully clothed too. Oh God, stop me! Jon Dworkin wasn't even an Alpha Delt; no way he could do what we could do, right?
- Vignette #171: (from Harry)
Well it may be a matter of faith, but I believe that Jesus was born in the year 1. The hundredth year would be 100, and would end the first century, etc. etc. And then 2000 ends the 20th Century. Since 1982 the local bus company has been numbering new busses according to the year of purchase. That is, in 1982 they bought 8201 through 8277 – up to this year when they bought "9900's." So the question is what will they number new busses in 2000? Kind of a Y2K problem. I don't think Jon Dworkin's grandmother would have been so put out of joint, as she was alleged to be, had the babe had any clothes on. Dworkin would refer to himself as "just a grub." So you know he wasn't egotistical. Still he was hard to like. As I recall now, Al Hauser also knew the big redhead. So maybe there was a connection between Hauser and Dworkin. (Boy, imagine me dating a redhead who knew Al Hauser and Jon Dworkin?)
- Vignette #172: (from Joe R) Yes, I remember now; "Grub" was Jon Dworkin's nickname around the fraternity house. In thinking back though, I think he was given that name by Doug Winter (aka Oreon) long before he started admitting to being one. But he wasn't egotistical; that is true--just very loud-mouthed and sometimes obnoxious to be around. Then again, I was both of those on many occasions, sad to say. Just ask my lovely wife, Flo, who lives in Tampa, roughly kiddy-corner across the country from where I am here in Seattle. Then again, you guys don't have to ask Flo (Ryan) or anyone about that aspect of my mien. You know! I think that life's lessons have taught me not to be quite so loud-mouthed, but as for obnoxious . . . well, let's say I'm still working on that one. Fortunately, four of my kids live here in Seattle and they do a good job of keeping my obnoxiousness within reasonable bounds. You can see them, BTW, by browsing to the Photos Page and going to the most recent links--like last week's Thanksgiving Dinner. (A story in itself, but again . . . I digress!)
- Vignette #173: (from Jim)
Shit. Let me add something to two items: First, Jon Dworkin ... I
met him in Eldred Hall when there were no seats left except the one next to Dworkin and we started talking. He had the same next class as mine so we jabbered on about that. We got around to fraternities and I mentioned I was
with Alpha Delta Phi. He said he was buddies with the Alpha Delts at Cornell (he either flunked out of Cornell or just transferred to WRU because of the excellent reputation (?)) and started singing some A D PHI songs. These morning meetings at Eldred continued on for a while and I asked him to come over (with the intention of rushing) to our "NEW" house on Bellflower. The rest is history...he came to a couple of our TGIF parties and wound up (usually) on the floor and looking quite grubby, from whence came the name, "Grub." My sincere apologies for any disgusting moments as a result of the eventful happenstance meeting at Eldred.
- Vignette #174: (from Jim)
And second . . . The millenium. I know that my learned brethren are saying the millenium begins with 2001, and Jesus was born in 1. Let me take issue with both of those statements. Jesus was born
in the year "0" and was one year old in the year 1. The first century was from 0 – 99. The 2nd century was 100-199 and so on until the we come to the Twentieth Century 1900-1999. The 21st Century begins on January 1, 2000 and ends at 2099. Peace to all of you.
- Vignette #175: (from Jim)
By the way, Harry Kautz, if astronomy is anything like geology (my major in college) your son-in-law will need a post doctorate degree to get beyond the astronomy section of borders, unless he wants to become a peddler like me.
- Vignette #176: (from Joe R)
Wow! If I were to have ever started guessing brothers responsible for bringing Jon Dworkin into our midst, I would have probably guessed Dribble very near to the last. (Did the guys really nickname you Heinrich Schnibble? -- that must have been after I graduated, no?) But whatever, the “Grub” experience was enlightening in more ways than one, and I, for one, thank Jimbo for so kind an act as to invite Jon over. I tend to bring in stray cats--as does Dave Uscheek (aka Petrovich)--and have even been known in recent years to bring in drunks off the street to (try to) help them recover from alcoholism.
- Vignette #177: (from Joe R)
But even more important among the topics brought up by Jim Deibel in his Vignette #175 above is the subject of astronomy at [its] borders. I have always wondered too about what’s out there on the edge of the universe, and must agree that Harry Kautz’s son-in-law could easily make a living if he were to get a better handle on that for us all. My own belief is that since the Big Bang didn’t occur in time and space (as we know it), the edge of the universe is sort of like that nothingness (or everythingness) within which the Big Bang occurred—i.e., God—as we all know Him—or at least His Creative Nature, right?
I picked this off the website as one man’s view of what he thought the “Quantum Edge of Now” might look like.
Is that what you had in mind, Jim? But one way or the other, Jim Deibel, thanks for opening up cosmology as a new topic of discussion, and asking that age-old question, “what is beyond the borders of astronomy?” And incidentally, to see the picture at the right in all its glory, you have to go to windspirit.com/rycroft/qnow.html. And gang, you'll also read a pithy little aphorism on that webpage relating to going to the edge of the universe--or as Jim Deibel more poetically phrased it in Vignette #175 (and I paraphrase freely), "astronomy's borders." It goes, "When you go there, you're here."
If people hadn’t asked questions like,
“Will boats possibly not fall off the edge of the earth?” (Christopher Columbus)what progress would ever be made in science? Thanks for the latest great question, Dribble; now let’s see what Harry Kautz has for an answer to that one! You’ll have to ask me to get my answer. And by the way, James Dribble, who was the winner of the "Ugly Man Contest" and what's the full story?
“Is the closest distance between two points possibly not a straight line?” (Albert Einstein)
“Is the earth possibly not at the center of the universe?” (Copernicus)
“Do persons ‘never cross over’ to a new color of flatus flame?” (Douglas Oreon Winter)
- Vignette #178: (from Jim)
Heinrich Schnibble was a character in "Postcripts" section of the Saturday Evening Post, and I used it as an alias when I signed on with Tripod.
- Vignette #179: (from Jim)
The Ugly Man Contest. For whatever reason, Joe Ryan had a blind demonic hatred for me as a pledge (Joe: do you recall popping me one when I wasn't looking at my initiation?) Anyhoooo, I was working on your "Ride the Blue Streaks ragged" homecoming display...you sat me in one of the little shitty wagons, and I being a dutiful pledge went along with the thing. You then pulled me over to someplace near Mather Hall (most likely nearer Thwing Hall) and said you were going to have a picture put into the Reserve Tribune. Only when the camera man came up to our gorgeous segment of the Blue Streak, looked at me and said, "Look ugly," did I realize that I was the victim of one of your ruses. Did you ever find out who put the Limburger cheese on your Ford's manifold...hmmmmm?
- Vignette #180: (from Jim)
Now to more mundane things. Super string theory is what a lot of physicists are using to try to obtain the unified field for all matter. At least Steven Hawking promotes it. I'm not sure. All I know for sure is that Klingons and Romulans are out there waiting to wage war on humans. (and Vulcans).
- Vignette #181: (from Joe R) Call me blind. Call me demonic. Call me anything you guys want--but I truly never hated Jim Schnibble or any of the Alpha Delts, either while pledges or afterwards. I had some idiotic bias against persons whom I perceived to be tight asses (mainly because I didn't have enough discipline to tighten up my own ass/act) and persons who would stoop so low as to put Limburger Cheese on upstanding citizens' automobile manifolds, but hate? Never, ever, ever!
Still I truly apologize for the Ugly Man Contest--I had honestly forgotten that incident until Jim Deibel wrote his story, above--and I still deny ever having "popped" Jim--or anyone--during those, my adolescent days. For one thing, I was too much of a yellow-bellied chicken to "pop" anyone, including Mrs. Baraccelli, Cynthia or Dottie Stetz. Two things characterized my adolescence I think, and they were (1) fear and (2) insecurity to the max. A lot of my activities in those crazy days can be attributed to those mental blocks, I believe.
- Vignette #182: (from Joe R) Now that we know who the Ugly Man Contest winner was, a new question for you all. I was surfing the net and discovered that an Alpha Delt had won one of R&D Magazine's "Top One Hundred" awards this year. Question: Who, among us, was one of the developers of a large area 3D surface profiling technique using only focused air pulses? Apparently, this technique is particularly useful "in environments where stylus contact or laser impingement is undesirable or impractical." (For example, should you want a high resolution profile of Jon Dworkin's ass, this method would be the way to go. So would a lobotomy!) I'm giving no hints.
And if anyone of you can explain superstrings to me in plain English, I would be eternally grateful. I have read a lot of material on the subject and understand zippo -- like for nothing. It's worse than trying to understand Steven Hawking without sub-titles, and I am a great admirer of anyone who can overcome all that he has overcome, believe me. Just what is a superstring anyway?
- Vignette #183: (from Jim)
Just for the record, Joseph T., I [Jim Deibel] was not the winner of the "Ugly Man" contest, just Alpha Delta Phi's contestant. Some guy from Beta Theta Pi named Joe Sobovich or some such moniker won it...hell, I wasn't even a runner up or honorable mention.
- Vignette #184: (from Jim)
And yes, down in the basement of the house on E. 117th street, on my initiation night, we were both tighter than drums in a rock band and you [Joe Ryan] hauled off and popped me one. Although dim from the years, as I recall, Russ Egolf grabbed me as I was about to pop you. No apologies necessary...Since we were both about half-bombed I probably called you some sort of stupid name. As Don Wick (no relation to Carl Wick) said: "'Nuff said." Xaipe, Yippee and all that.
- Vignette #185: (from Harry)
First of all I have to confess that I don't understand superstrings. All I know about them is what Warf - on the Enterprise- would say. (And that is fading fast.) My understanding of what is outside the universe is that there is no outside the universe. The big bang is supposed to have created time and space and so there is no time and space "outside". What there is, maybe, is borders to the human mind. A teacher once pointed out that we cannot comprehend space that never ends nor an end to space. So it is outside our minds. There are other things that may be outside our minds, like:
Things are both waves and particles.
God knows everything that will happen yet we have free will.
It always rains if you wash your car.
How women think.
--All outside man's mind.
- Vignette #186: (from Harry)
It is a matter of faith, (granted a rather trivial matter), whether Jesus was born in the year "0" or "1". Saying he was born at 0 implies to me that we start our years at his birthday. We don't. Maybe we should but we don't know when it was. As it is we celebrate his birthday a week before the end of the year, thanks to the Romans. If we had twelve fingers there would probably be 120 years in a century - or maybe 144?
- Vignette #187: (from Joe R)
Well, I just got off the phone with Paul Meiland and if I wanted to steal his thunder in regards to some wonderful memories, I could write all night. I won't though since Paul said he'd try to get some memories to me when he was up to it, especially as regards some of the interesting goings ons at Dr. Barracelli's place. (Paul said two 'r's in Barracelli, but after the r's he's as unsure of the rest of the spelling as the rest of us. Yes, Harry, her name definitely ends in "(sp?)" -- like Mrs Petrichonni (sp?)!)
But one memory I came up with in our conversation was the time that our math professor in complex variables (I said it was professor Ernie Leach; Paul said it was Professor John Dettman (sp?)) tried to "get" Don Knuth on the mid-term. For those of you who might not know who Don Knuth is, he's maybe the foremost expert in the world on computer algorithms and their mathematical underpinnings, and has been writing the seminal (that word again!) series on the broader aspect of computer algorithms for the past 35 years--maybe four in the series thus far. He's also a bona fide genius. Anyway, at that time, he was an undergraduate senior at Case Tech. Well, the professor (Ernie Leach or John Dettman) managed to slam dunk Don Knuth and he (Knuth) received only a 68 on the exam. My memory is that four of the five problems on the exam were unsolved propositions and the professor was simply looking at how we approached the problems--not for solutions. I could leave it to your imagination to guess Paul's and my grades, but sufficeth to say that mine was equal to the number of players (but both sides, mind you) in a baseball game. I believe Paul did better than I did, but not by much. Fortunately, the professor let up on us before the final exam and, in fact, Don Knuth received his master's degree along with his bachelor's degree--a complete surprise to him, and the first time ever done in the history of Case Tech.
I saw Don at a convention some years later and was surprised he even remembered a klutz like me, but he did, and even remembered teaching me how to program in binary for one of the two computers at Case Tech, an older one that required programmers to literally "walk into it" via a catwalk on the second floor of the building--a building that was (essentially) the computer.
Anyway, Paul said to say "Hi!" to you all and that he sure wished he could have made it to the reunion. The ninety minutes that I was on the phone with him tonight went by like ten, but let me tell you, if he is able to get some of his memories onto paper, this site will double in size. Let's pray that he's up and about quickly.
- Vignette #188: (from Harry)
I was taking a shower the other evening, (I do that sometimes),and a song
came to me that was probably written by Jim Deibel and Don Miller. We all remember that Reserve was always raising tuition every time you turned around. This song celebrates one of those occasions. Jim & Don sent it to, and it was printed in the Reserve Tribune. As follows, to the tune of "Dear
"Former Home of Our College Days,
Hark to thy Tuition Raise,
While we our objections Phrase,
To Old Reserve.
The Facilty deserves the Money,
but from our pockets? this ain't funny!
Oh, Our future don't look Sunny,
At old Reserve!"
If Jim Deibelor someone else remembers it differently, please edit.
- Vignette #189: (from Jim)
Re: Harry Kautz's vignette #188 right above. Harry - you are correct...Don Miller and I [Ed. Note: i.e., Jim Deibel] did write the lyrics to "Former Home of Our College Days." The complete verses are as follows:
Former Home of Our College days
Former home of our college days,
Hark to the tuition raise,
While we our objections phrase,
To old Reserve.
Your tuition raise will kill us,
Hear our pleas oh John Schoff Millis
This sure is a bitter 'pillis',
Dear old Reserve.
Bright were the hours we spent,
Now you take our every cent,
How we wish that you'd repent,
Dear old Reserve.
The faculty deserves the money,
But from our pockets?
This ain't funny.
Oh our future don't look sunny,
Dear old Reserve.
Actually, if I do say so myself, it was pretty clever, even if some of the grammar and words were subject to "poetic license." We struggled for hours trying to get something to rhyme with "Millis" until Miller finally came up with "pillis." That happened after about five Strohs Bohemian Beers.
Now that I'm thinking about it though, it may have been one bottle per line of song...at any rate, Don Miller worked for the Reserve Tribune and had the song published in the next issue.
As an aside, four years later, after one of the Greek Week rehearsals (or maybe even one of the shows), we (Alpha Delts) and a bunch of Phi Gams that were in the show sang it in front of Guilford House to the Guilford Girls. Sadly, none of the girls threw down their bras or panties (perhaps happily so). The fact that the Fijis even knew it was a testament to its universal appeal to the struggling students.
- Vignette #190: (from Joe R)
Jim Deibel says it took Don Miller and himself hours to come up with "pillis." Really? Why not have simply used:"This will surely kill
Clearly, we needed a poet lauteate among us, but alas, we were a bunch of drunks and ne'er-do-wells, so what could we have expected, right?
- Vignette #191: (from Jim)
Re: Vignette #190 (Joseph T.'s) The reason we didn't use "kill us," is because "kill us" was used in the line above, as in: "Your tuition raise will
Xaipe, Yippee, etc.
- Vignette #192: (from Joe R)
Oh, but of course. I just assumed that you [Jim Deibillis, isn't it?] knew that I had made a modification to the first line so as to read:
"Your tuition raise doesn't thrill us!"
But "pillis"? We are a literary society as well as a national fraternity. I had at least expected you guys to somehow work in such well-known personages as Doby Gillis, Bruce Willis or John Foster Dillis, but then our non-member literary master, Jon Dworkin wasn't around to help. He was busy lying on a lab table at NASA letting Harry Kautz test his new high precision air pulse profiler on his bare . . . uhhh . . . dadada.
And by the way, Harry, congratulations on being named one of R&D Magazine's Top 100 for this year. I, for one, am damned impressed! And that's serious!!!
- Vignette #193: (from Joe R) The next few Vignettes are simply a couple or so of the emails that came as a response to my letters (email) that went out just ahead of the Third Millennium's debut, Harry Kautz's views on the date of its innaugural notwithstanding. They are posted as an incentive for all of you to submit new and exciting stories, memories (ever so faint and short) and any other ideas, passing thoughts or whatever comes to mind. I notice in surfing the web that nothing ever happens or happened at Cornell--or any of the New England chapters, although I will post a picture on the front porch of Cornell's chapter when I get back and have access to a scanner again. Question: Was the Hudson Chapter of Alpha Delta Dhi the "model" for Animal House or not?
- Vignette #194: (from Jim)
Outside of stealing Christmas Trees during the Christmas Season (and why wouldn't we?) I can't think of much that went on that would lend anything of value to Harry's Place. I will continue to think on it though...who knows what thoughts lurk in the minds of men?
- Vignette #195: (from Harry)
I also enjoyed talking to you [Joe R.]. I'm glad you called (even though you interrupted my beauty rest). We must do that again. I called Paul Meiland and we had about an hour talk. I can't get him to come out because of his back. Still, I'd like to see him. I'll work on that. I'll pass your [Joe's] "Hi" to Sylvia.
Having Albert Einstein as man of the century is fine with me. If they had said man of the millennium I would have to think about it. Do you remember the disc jockey, Bill Randle? He is on the radio around here these days. He says he is going to have a program this weekend on the greatest hits of the millennium. I doubt it. Anyway, as far as greatest anyone of the century or millennium, we ought to wait until the end of next year to see who might show up.
- Vignette #196: (from Larry)
Thanks for latest e-mail. Hope you [Joe R.] are enjoying your time in Tampa with family. I have not forgotten my story to send up. Will send it up as soon as I have time to write it after the Christmas season when I can get at my computer again. Wife and grandchildren have taken it over. The computer and I do not get along well. It sends me nasty messages about my illegal moves. I respond by a somewhat colorful verbal language which usually results in a mild but poignant response from my wife. I'll pass your [Joe's] greetings on to Jim Brady. He is delighted to have contact with you. Best regards for the new year.
- Vignette #197: (from Cornell Jim)
Nope, I [Jim Brady] was not at Cornell at the time of the picture you will post. However, I did live in the room over the entry way in my senior year, after two years in the tower.
What a spectacular building that is...I don't know if you know the history of the house, but it replaced one designed by one of F. L. Wright's school, which burned down in '32, and was rebuilt during the depression...sort of suggests the level of alumni support they must have had at such a time in our economic history. It is a bitch to heat in the winter, and explains to me the denuding of Europe by barons warming their schlosses!
- Vignette #198: (from Joe R)
I just returned to Seattle with a number of old B/W pictures, including the group photo mentioned by Jim Brady in the Vignette above. It will take a week or more to get them scanned and posted inasmuch as I'll be teaching a new (for me) web development course over the next two weeks. I'll have to rely on you guys to help me with the captions (as usual) as I get them up. I recognize Jim Deibel in a few and also Larry Yax, but that's about all. What kind of party was that where we all were dressed like cannibals--and quite frankly, looked pretty silly?
- Vignette #199: (from Joe R)
It occurs to me as I look at the current Vignette number that Vignette V2C is about to occur coincident with Y2K, and I plan to back off and see which of you manages to be the one who kicks off the new Centennial of Vignettes. Of course, Harry will insist that V2C will actually be Vignette #201 since Christ was born on February 31st or something like that, but we'll let that little matter ride for the time. Interestingly, looking back at Alpha Delta Phi and its role in the Second Millennium, it doesn't seem all that important in the scheme of things. Is it possible that one of us is the Antichrist? That would make us at least a tiny bit more significant, but alas, bad as we thought we were, none of our activities (other than stealing Christmas trees from the baby Jesus, Jim Deibel) likely matches what that idiot Antichrist has in mind.
What worries me most about myself (seriously) as the minutes tick away until tomorrow night is that I think I actually "want" something horrid to happen in my deepest of deep desires/thoughts. Is that normal?
Nothing big, mind you, maybe something like a small earthquake causing California to slide into the Pacific Ocean--causing global oceans to rise and for Florida (382 feet from its lowest to highest point--flattest state in the Union) to go under. Here in Seattle, our wimpy mayor called off the big get-together at the Space Needle, so all we have to hope for is maybe a sarin attack over Bill Gates' mansion. It will be my luck to win the Washington State lottery this week and have it invalidated by some stupid two-digit date for this week's drawing.
But whatever, I wish you all the very best for the Holiday-Season-about-over and for the Third Millennium to be the Alpha Delta Phi Hudson Chapter's finest. See ya!
Vignettes above the first row of flashing lights were written in the Second Millennium -- Those beneath the second row of flashing lights (below) are those written in the Third Millennium
Would the appropriate officer from among the Hudson Chapter Alpha Delts please select someone to remind me to separate the Third Millennium vignettes from the Fourth Millennium's in a similar manner when the time comes?
Of course, in deference to the US Naval Observatory and Harry Kautz, we shall similarly recognize January 1, 2001 -- but with an asterisk.
- Vignette #200 (V2C): (from Harry)
On behalf of myself and the U. S. Naval Observatory, (a really observant bunch of guys and gals), I would like to thank Joe Ryan for his consideration of Y2.001k. Also the promise of future asterisks. I also, am looking forward to us continuing on through Y3k and Y3.001k in the same way.
It reminds me that I have another date to keep in 2076. In the early 1970s a fellow worker, John Evans, and I invented a candy, mint chocolate covered peanuts, we called it "The United States Goobermint", claimed it was "good as gold", and got a patent. We planned to market it for the bicentennial in 1976, but we dragged our heels too long. John retired and the last I saw him we promised to try again for the tricentennial. Well, that's not a fraternity vignette, but it shows I am nearly as optimistic a planner as Joe is.
- Vignette #201 (V2C*): (from Jim)
[Ed Note: Spam is normally not inserted into this, a Consecrated High Holy Site and the Literary Tabernacle of the Hudson Chapter of the Alpha Delta Phi, but this piece of spam so fit the asterisked V2C--and our literary traditions--that I felt compelled to include it in Harry's Place. Apologies to you all and thanks for this excellent Vignette, Jim Deibel!]
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old [translated: Alpha Delta Phi pledge] again. I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four-star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summers day. I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset. I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow. So . . . here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause. . . . Tag You're it!
- Vignette #202: (from Jim)
While I was probably doing nothing (can any sentient being do nothing?) a joke from Don Miller popped into my skull...remember now, this was at least 40 years old . . . "They have a new sex pill for men on the market...it's a pill, but you have to swallow it fast or you get a stiff neck."
This, many moons before Viagra.
- Vignette #203: (from Joe R)
First Jim Deibel’s mention of Viagra (not prepared yet to fully comment on the preceding joke) and then Paul Meiland’s mention of Brian Kohler--another (sp?) in his last name, and I’m not quite sure that his first name was/is Brian--on the phone the night before last brings to mind the Alpha Delta Phi condom supply cabinet. Ah yes! My memory was that it was more for show than actual use, but Brian was its custodian for the time he was with us. I think he was older and already working when he lived at the house—a real man amongst us boys. Anyway, it strikes me as how times have changed over the intervening forty years—from condoms to Viagra. Sigh.
- Vignette #204: (from Jim)
J. Blaine Kollar was his name (or is his name...I'm not sure past tense is proper) Joe, Blaine Kollar (Joseph Blain Kollar) His father (Joseph Blaine Kollar) was an Alpha Delt from Hudson in 1906 and his son (the one we knew) was an Alpha Delt from Miami in 1956. I remember him being a funny guy, but haven't heard of or from him for 40 years, but then I haven't heard of or from a whole lot of you in 40 years. [ed. note: I had to simply copy and paste this one as is, except for the bold-face tags; it was a real mind bender with the two JBK's.]
- Vignette #205: (from Joe R)
Blain! (or Blaine) Yeh, that's it! If ever I forget the name again though, after the number of times it was repeated above by Jim Deibel, I should quadruple my dosage of Viagra. (No I don't use Viagra--wouldn't do me any good anyway!) Fact is, I remember that I was one of the wusses in the frat house who talked a good game, but did very little; that is, didn't get very far with the girls--especially in such a manner as might have required either condoms or Viagra.
And by the way, I believe that Paul Meiland got Blaine's name right on the phone, but after 48 hours from the time he called . . . well, my memory has a fast decay rate too. And also, my memory of Blaine is that he was about five years older than me, but I guess not if those dates in Jim's vignette above are correct. Now, I can't even remember what it was that Paul passed on about Blaine. :-(
- Vignette #206: (from R. Stanley)
[ed. note: this isn't really a vignette, but this, Bob's latest email, points up how many potential vignettes are lost in the wonderful--I'm sure--conversations that take place among you all at the "tables down at Maurie's . . .", etc. Do you guys have a recording secretary? If not, I recommend you assign someone each month to record a couple of your oral vignettes and forward them to the rest of us via Harry's Place. Good idea, no?]
(from Bob) A belated happy new year! how was your [Joe's] trip to Florida? Bea & I are leaving next Monday for Citrus Springs. I'm ready to get out of this cold and snow. Looked at the the pictures on your [Joe's] website. Great looking family! We were fortunate this year to have all three of ours home for Christmas. I'm still planning to call Flo when we get to Florida and hopefully visit. Had dinner downtown Cleveland with the local Alpha Delts. There were 8 of us. Harry Kautz could't make it but the Deibel brothers and Nick Romito were there. Good group and we had a lot of fun. Looking forward to getting together with the group when I return in April.
- Vignette #207: (from Harry)
Well it's been snowing here and, for no good reason, it reminds me of an evening when Al Hauser and I drove Doobie Clark home from a rushing party at the house. (Anyone feel free to correct the spelling of "Doobie". I went totally phonetic here.) He was an alumnus and the founder of the once famous Clark Restaurants. He was at that time a frail looking little old gentleman. Al and I felt really noble driving him back to his Cleveland Heights home in the snow storm. What I remember most at the party was that he was no old stuffed shirt. He kept the interest of a group of young people around him for the whole evening. He told us about a time he took a trip to Japan. He said someone told him beforehand that the Japanese girls had their vaginas slanted the opposite from white girls. "But," said Doobie with a straight face, "they lied!"
- Vignette #208: (from Jim)
(from Jim) Thought you all might get a kick out of
this.........................[ed. note.: Okay, it might very well be more spam, but looking back upon a time when most persons who were starting college were born between 1935 and 1939, this vignette from Jim was right on target. After all, who among us recalls ever yelling out to one of the others, “Hi Shriveldick!”? (See Jim's later Vignette below!)]
(from Jim) Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here is this year's list:
- The people who are starting college this fall across the nation
were born in
- They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and
probably did not
know he had ever been shot.
- They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.
- Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great
- There has been only one Pope.
- They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not
remember the Cold
- They have never feared a nuclear war.
- They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
- Tianamen Square means nothing to them.
- Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
- Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
- Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums. The expression "you
sound like a
broken record" means nothing to them.
- They have never owned a record player.
- They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of
- They may have never heard of an 8-track. The Compact Disc was
when they were 1 year old.
- As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 33 cents.
- They have always had an answering machine.
- Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, do not
even know what UHF or VHF means, nor have they seen a black-and-white TV.
- They have always had cable.
- There has always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA is.
- They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
- They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.
- Roller-skating has always meant inline for them.
- Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
- They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.
- Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
- They have never seen Larry Bird play.
- They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
- The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII and
- They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in
- They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
- They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
- They never heard: "Where's the beef?", "I'd walked a mile for
a Camel", or
"de plane!, de plane!"
- They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is.
- The Titanic was found? They thought we always knew where it
- Michael Jackson has always been white.
- Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not
- McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
- There has always been MTV.
- They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
- Vignette #209: (from Jim)
Bro. [Harry] Kautz's latest vignette referring to "Doobie" Clark: Reuben Dubois Clark was his real name and I think the "Doobie" or "Duby" came from the Dubois part much the same as we called Doug Winter, "Oreon" from his middle name. Even in Duby's day they twisted peoples' names around. I recall at one of our alumni gatherings when Joe Bartunek (then a state senator from Cleveland), at the sight of Asa Shiverick, yelled out, "Hi shriveldick." As Don Wick said at another (formal meeting at the Union Club) meeting, "'Nuff said."
- Vignette #210: (from Joe R) Good ol' Shriveldick's nickmane (Jim Deibel's vignette just above) reminds me of the morphous nature of one of my less polite nicknames in the farternity (whoops, a misspelling that I'll have to remember to pick up). Somehow, I picked up the name "pinky" early on--probably due to the fact that I never tanned like most of you all, and blushed besides. Well, "Pinky" was a nickname that somehow evolved to "Pinkus," which in turn became "Penis" before I graduated. You tell me!?!?!? I still think "Sloppy Al" was the luckiest of us all. Even "Hairy Crotch" was never used in polite company like "Penis" was--once, would you believe, in the presence of Dottie Stetz and Mary Lou Ryan (not yet Mary Lou Szabo at that time), my sister, who asked about it later--and I certainly recall having blushed at that time. I don't remember how I answered her question, because the nickname made no sense whatsoever. For one thing, at that time I couldn't tell the inside from the outside or a condom, let alone have argued with whoever told Doobie Clark that Japanese ladies . . . well, you know.
No hard feelings, mind you.
Anyway, would one of you do Harry's Place the favor of providing a list of our old nicknames? What we need are the nicknames that were floating about in our time (forty years ago--so only do your best), in some cases, many more than one per Alpha Delt. The list itself will probably rearrange our neurons so as to bring to mind additional "memories of the way things were . . ."
Jim Deibel: why don't you kick the list off? Anyone who could remember Doobie Clark's unusual middle name--and that his first name was "Reuben"--ought to get the list off and running in good style.
- Vignette #211: (from Jim)
Don Miller was "nicknamed" after one of the Fraternity's Traveling Secretaries named A. Wayne Shydecker. We've heard Joe Ryan’s nickname and Harry Kautz's many nicknames along with Doug Winter’s and Al Hauser’s. Also Bob Novak's and Sidney's [Sid Perzy's].
In later years, there was "Tiny" Wenger, Twenty Beer Ed (Proctor), Chubby [Steve] North, Petrovich (Dave Uscheek), Zeke Zychowski (Zachary), Beaky Jablonski, Anal John (real name Emil John Kleinholz), my brother Mike [Deibel]was called "Little Pecker" or sometimes LP, while I was away fighting Germans, so when I got back, mine became BP or Big Pecker. [ed. note: really!)] Then there was Miklos (Bob) Molnar, "Dutch" (Bob) Schultz, "Bozo" (Tom) Jacklitch, Dan TomkowskiTom Dankowski). I guess that's all I can remember now...I bet Doug Winter can give you more since many times he was the author of them.
- Vignette #212: (from Joe R)
What we need probably to start is a simple list (numbered, so that we can reference it) with the name of the brother and his nickname. Some brothers might be listed more than once (more than one nickname), but that’s no problem.
Maybe Jim Deibel could get a list started that covers all of those already in Harry’s Place—for example, what are some of Sid Perzy’s that Jim mentioned were already in one or more Vignettes, but that I don't recall seeing? I can only think of one that actually might be too (whew!) raunchy for Harry's Place, but surely don’t remember Sid’s other nickname(s) other than that we used to greet him with “Oy Sidney!” in the same way I was greeted by Don Miller and Jim Deibel (after, ahem, he was a brother) with “Oy Shtoynfeldt!”
Anyway with such a numbered list to reference, we could then discuss/write how such nicknames came to be with reference to the number in Jim’s list. The list might begin:
- Joe Szabo – Jazzbo
- Jim Deibel – Dribble-dribble [not necessary to explain all nicknames, right?]
- Al Houser – Sloppy Al
- Bob Novak -- R. Stanley Snowflake -- later shortened to just "Snowflake," then changed to "nofuck"
When the list is put up, it will simply be put in as a Vignette "started by" Jim, so that Jim won't get the blame for some of the more raunchy ones--probably the ones that originated between Doug Winter's ears. Right? ;-) I'll add names and nicknames to the list as they come in.
Go, Jim, Go!!
- Vignette #213: (from Jim)
Although "Sloppy Al" was a moniker that stuck with Al Hauser, Sidney and I used to call him, (because he started using the suffix "babe" when talking with people...e.g.; Hey what's up babe?) Al Babes Hauser Babes. Also, how could I forget Tom "Elmer" or "Elm" Neff?
- Vignette #214: (started by Jim) (Although started by Jim and continued by others, the full blame goes to Oreon who actually came up with most! And we must defer to Jim D., who managed to come up with most, if not all, of the middle names. Amazing memories!)
The official list of nicknames of Hudson Alpha Delts and their friends during the late 50s and early 60s--or those older fraternity brothers whom we came to know--is as follows:
- Reuben Dubois Clark -- "Doobie"
- Douglas Oreon Winter -- "Oreon"; "Douglas Oreon Pick" (see below)
- Maureen Boudreau -- "Shitless" (see below)
- Bob Schultz -- "Dutch"
- Bob Molnar -- "Miklos"
- Mike Deibel -- "Little Pecker"
- Jim Deibel -- "Big Pecker" [ed note: Hmmm . . . I'll believe it when I see it!]; also, "Dribble" or "Dibble"; also (I guess) "Heinrich Schnibble"; also "Lennie" (see below)
- Ray Jablonski -- "Beaky"
- Robert (Bob) Stanley Novak -- "R. Stanley Snowflake"; later shortened to "Snowflake" and ultimately changed to "Nofuk"
- Steve North -- "Chubby"
- Don Wayne Miller -- "A. Wayne Shydecker" (??? this one doesn't quite sound right); "Mouse"
- Tom Jacklitch -- "Bozo"
- Norm Heyman (sp?) -- "Noooorm!" (with hand gestures as described in #231 below); also (apparently self-inflicted--see below) "Kappa-Iota-Kappa-Epsilon" whose acronym is a racial slur (see #231 below)
- Thomas (Tom) Leo Ryan -- "T-Leo" (see below)
- Zeke Zychowski -- "Zachary" (wasn't there a "John" in here somewhere?)
- Emil John Leinholz -- "Anal John"
- Dave Wenger -- "Tiny"
- Larry Yax -- "Yaques" (see below); "Yackity-yackity Yax" (see below)
- Joseph (Joe) Andrew Szabo -- "Jazzbo"; also "the Schnozz"; also "Proboscus" (sp?)
- Joe Szabo's father (see below) -- "the Chief"
- Joe Szabo's youngest two sisters (see below) -- "The Moppits"
- Joe Szabo's car (All of these from Harry!) -- "the Dodgemobile"
- Al Hauser -- Sloppy Al; also "Al Babes" or "Al Babes Hauser babes"; also (see below) "Willie"
- Joseph (Joe) Thomas Ryan -- "Pinky"; changed to "Pinkus"; changed to "Penis"; also, "Shtoynfeldt"; also Joe T. Bone (easiest to remember your own); also "Ryanocerous" (see below)
- Mary Lou Ryan (now Mary Lou Szabo) -- "Lou-bird"
- Dan Tomkowski -- "Tom Dankowski" (huh?)
- Russel Neal Egolf -- Don Miller would say "Yee Gods!" when Russ would come in the door, but Russ had another nickname dealing with his last name only that I completely forget. Later, self-inflicted (see below): "Jackoff"
- Paul Robert Meiland -- "Paulter" (the "ter" was pronounced like "tear" as in tearing paper) -- no known derivation!
- Ed Proctor -- "Twenty-Beer Ed"
- Harold Eugene Kautz -- "Hairy Couch"; later changed to "Hairy Crotch"; also "King of sin and vice"; also (see below) "Kautzkoff"; "H. Eugene Ka-Nauptz" (see below)
- Simon Peter -- "Saint" (see below)
- Harry's car -- (see below) "the Bruise"; also "the Kautzmobile"
- Dan Ehlert -- "Big Dan"; also "Ubiquitous" (see below); also "Dan Smellfart" (see below)
- Asa Shiverick -- "Shriveldick" (as in "Hey Shriveldick!")
- Christ Koconis -- Doug came up with something like "Clitoris Kyphosis," but I wouldn't bet my life on the second name ... We also came up with something like "Gogroanis" or "Grogonis," but memory fails me. [Jim Deibel (see below) believes that his Greek name for a Roman toga party (???) was "Koconis." -- only in our chapter would that be possible!]
- Nick Romito -- (He had a beaut, but I forget it!) -- "Caw Caw"; also "Bruno" (see below)
- Dave Uscheek -- "Petrovich"; also "Ivan"
- Jim Herbert -- "Herbert the Pervert" (see below -- but no known derivation IN SPADES!)
- Jim Valentine -- ??? (with a name like "Valentine," we should have had a filed day -- Oreon?)
- Jim Beveredge -- ??? (with a name like "Beveredge," we should have had a firld day --- Oreon?)
- Sid Perzy -- "Oy Sidney"; also "Sick Pussy" -- pronounced "Zeek Poozzie"( As I recall, Doug had a grosser version of this one--and I had the good sense to both forget it and to never to use it directly to Sid. What was it, Doug? I really do forget!); also "inSIDious" (see below)
- Jon Dworkin -- "Grub"
- Tom Neff -- "Elmer"; shortened to "Elm"; also "Snuff";
- Dottie Stetz -- "Snuff Box"
- Domenic Federico -- "Howdy Doody" (see below)
- Vignette #215: (from Joe R) Please guys, give me a hand with the above list. It's not just incomplete; it's just plain wrong in places. I need your Alzheimer's-free memories to help me out. If you recall, Joe Szabo had his own nicknames for most of us that was distinct from the names we used. Most were simple like "Dapper Dan" or "Twinkle-toes" -- two that I think I remember correctly, but am afraid to assign them incorrectly. Does anyone recall some of those names? When you guys who live in the Cleveland area have your next get-together around "the tables down at Maurie's . . ." you might run through the list making appropriate corrections. Also, should it be maybe cleaned up a little in light of Al Gore's campaign promise to clean up the Internet? Your call.
Me? I'm pulling for John McCain, having worked for his father before I went to Nam a lifetime ago -- and believing that if he has only 50% of his father's savvy (and balls), which he surely seems to, he'd be one helluva president. (Are politics allowed in Harry's Place? If I'm outta place, please let me know and I'll can it.)
- Vignette #216: (from Harry)
Well, I think we ought not discuss politics in Harry's Place. Nonetheless! I can not help but repeat a quote, just this morning on the radio, of Hillary Clinton (on the campaign trail): "I intend to remain married to Bill for the rest of my life". That alone would make me vote against her if I could. [ed. Note: clearly, that was not a political comment since Harry does not live in the State of New York.]
Nicknames: I remember Don Miller calling Al Hauser, "Willie". I remember Russ Egolf chiding us that we didn't come up with more nicknames on "Egolf" which he said was really fertile ground for it. He wasn't about to give us a lot of help, but he mentioned the obvious "Jackoff". My spell check just encountered Egolf and wanted to replace it with "Ego". (That might have been a good one for Russ in those days.) Now that you mention it I remember Joe Szabo did have his own set of names for us. I think he called me "Kautzkoff". I think I remember Russ using that. I had a friend at work who called me that too. When he encountered me he would say "Kautzkoff!", and I would turn my head to one side and cough. Otherwise with Szabo I remember he used nicknames for his own family. His father was always "The Chief". He had a sister Sally and two younger ones that he referred to as "The moppits". And then there was the Chief's Dodge that he would borrow. That was "The Dodgemobile". Come to think of it, my car, which everyone else called "the Bruise", Joe called "the Kautzmobile".So there is a beginning.
[ed. Note: all of the above has been duly noted and the above list has been so updated.]
- Vignette #217: (from Jim)
Harry's Place to me
is an opportunity to communicate, albeit 'off-line,' to others with a similar
bent. Although I enjoy the heck out of Harry's Place, perhaps it shouldn't
be referred to as "memories," but as a spot for us (a few of us anyway) to
communicate with one another without feeling obligated to return an e-mail
which some of the brethren won't, can't, don't do. It really has been a hoot
going back and forth etc. and I would like Harry Kautz to come to one of our dinners (which he hasn't yet) and get into theoretical bull-twaddle with him 'cause I think it would be fun. [ed. note: So do I! Also, note change at top of page.]
- Vignette #218: (from Joe R)
This, for Harry -- who has been designated the Keeper of Millennia for this, the High Holy Place and Literary Tabernacle of the Hudson Chpater of Alpha Delta Phi:
There are exactly
days 'til January 1st of the year 3001 (Y3K*).
Yes, it counts down properly to Y3K* (Y3.001k -- see below -- in accordance with NASA (Harry Kautz's) and the US Naval Observatory's specifications. If you sit and watch this page at exactly midnight (your own time wherever you are!), you might actually see it refresh and the number will decrement by one. I suppose only Harry will actually check it out at midnight, but thought you'd like to know.
What did we do on Bellflower for fun before Jay Leno, Y2K, the Internet and that occasional opportunity to slip a tube of Super Glue in place of the tube of Preparation H of one of the others in our respective retirement communities?
Now isn't that strange? I just remembered (and updated the list above) Joe Szabo's "Latin" (I think) nickname: "Proboscus"! -- with a big (sp?)! Was that one of Doug Winter's concoctions? Hmmm . . . whatever made me think of that, I wonder?
- Vignette #219: (from Harry)
Thanks for the consideration of the year 3001. But don't you think we should refer to it as Y3.001k?
I did make a quick check of the number but I am not as precise as you and/or the Naval Observatory. I know that the first approximation to number of days in a year is 365, the second approximation is 365.25, and the third is 365.24. Beyond that I don't know. I was expecting 2000 to not have a "leap day". I thought they did that to "00" years to satisfy the third approximation. But maybe this is the fourth approximation kicking in.
You could, ofcourse, also calculate the number of days to Y4.001k, Y5.001k etc. out to Y1.000001M and beyond to the year the earth loses enough potential energy to fall into the sun. But that is depressing. Right now I am content with anticipating the big celebration at Y2.001k.
No new new nicknames from me yet. But I will continue giving it
- Vignette #220: (from Joe R)
As the "next" approximation, every 400th year we have a leap year on the Centennial. The references to Y3K* above were properly fixed.
Is it true that NASA is covering up a discovery of a white cross over the gravesite of some aliens on the moon back during the Apollo flights. Last week's Weekly World News made mention of it and the disclosure had "Harry Kautz" written all over it. It even included a photograph that it said was secretly taken from one of NASA's archives. Was it you, Harry, who slipped the picture and story to the WWN? Were the remains humanoid?
Were there any other Alpha Delts involved? Is this in any way related to the theft of cat cadavers by Larry Yax in the early 60s? Were the remains feline? You can tell us, Harry; we can keep a secret.
- Vignette #221: (from Harry)
All I can say about cats on the moon is that it might be true. Of course if I were to stand on the moon in one of those spacesuits, (really the only way to stand on the moon), I likely could dig up a cat's grave and check for finger prints without suffering an allergy attack. It's the trip back you have to be careful. It's a hell of a thing to get an allergy attack in space. Even near space.
But I wouldn't do such a thing to a brother anyway, so the whole thing is
academic. But thanks for asking.
- Vignette #222: (from Oreon)
Some of us (I think BIll Hartley started it) called Larry Yax "Yaques" (pronounced"Yak-kwaz") with first "a" short and second "a" long vowel pronounciation. This was a play on the actual French spelling of his original name before it was Americanized to "Yax". [ed. note (to Oreon): If what you say is true, how might one "Americanize" the name "William Jefferson Fuques"? Apologies to Jim and any other Democrats out there; I was only having a moment's fun. JTR]
Because I [Oreon] am unsure of this, I am copying Larry to validate. Hi Larry: Shlofenzee with any machens lately? (I obviously don't know the German spellings.)
- Vignette #223: (from Jim)
I don't know any "beaut" names for Nick Romito, but his middle name is Bruno and we were wont to call people by their middle names. E.g. Oreon, Bruno (my ADPhi Mug is inscribed with "Lenny" which is my middle name [though barely used]). Doug Winter also stuck Bruno with the moniker "Caw Caw" because when Nick would get excited, he would prance around the room and sort of sounded like a crow.
We called him Caw Caw Romito in deference to a song which was popular at the time called, "Ciao Ciao Bambino." I think Doug also had some lyrics to a song called "Caw Caw Romito" but my mind is hazy on that score.
Forgive me, I hate baby pictures.
[ed. note: Just among us Alpha Delts, I have a confession to make, Jim. I hate baby pictures too. Between you and me, they all look alike. When they're tiny, they're red and wrinkly; when they're toddlers, they're covered with drool and worse; when they're finally walking, they're terrors! And they're almost never quiet! But mostly, I simply get bored as Hell having to pour over pictures of someone else's baby pictures in a seemingly endless album or website. Shhhh!]
- Vignette #224: (from Jim)
I'm not sure if I should thank you Joe Ryan for calling me a Democrat or not...I continually voted for Frank Lausche, but Gilligan was the creep that pushed for and got (with the help of brother Democrats and other Socialists). I used to consider myself a Jeffersonian Democrat (of which there were very few, perhaps none) but now consider myself more of a Libertarian, anti-tax anti-big brother-type government. I hate to admit it, but every time I travel a large city such as New York or Los Angeles it never ceases to amaze me that these places actually do function...I guess government is important, but should not be omnipresent nor omnipotent. Vive le internet.
- Vignette #225: (from Joe R)
Hey, hey! (Yes, Harry Kautz, I know this sounds like politics, but it's just Alpha Delt chat in actuality.) I am a registered Libertarian and have been for a few years. I thought that the Republicans believed in small government until reading their 1992 platform, but at the same time, couldn't find it in my stomach to vote for Clinton. (I voted for Ross Perot.) Prior to 1992, I was registered as a Republican. The solution, of course, was to choose the Libertarian Party after taking the little quiz on their homepage--landing at the very top of the diamond representing the quiz results--a diamond that had "Libertarian" at the top, "Small Government Autocracy/Monarchy" (conservative?) on the right, "Compassionate Big Government" (liberal?) on the left and "Total Government Control/Communism" (entirely state-run society) at the bottom--or something like that. I think they've changed those designations, but will check later this week.
Anyway, I have decided that I just might vote Republican if Alan Keyes manages to get the Republican nomination. Listening to John McCain the other night convinced me that he is a "big government Democrat" in Republican clothes. He is the antithesis (sp?) of his father, despite having certainly paid a huge price for America while languishing in a North Korean POW camp. I too am amazed that large cities seem to run relatively smoothly, but having the local government in charge (basically) of the visible aspects of "life in the big city" probably explains that.
Is an Alpha Delt running for President? And oh yes, how does the second sentence in your Vignette above (Jim Deibel) end. Wasn't a phrase or something dropped in the transmission? Gilligan pushed for and got "what"?
- Vignette #226: (from Larry)
©Larry Yax Productions
It was a dark and dreary Monday afternoon as Doug Winter and I trudged back to the fraternity house. We felt the pending doom of tomorrow as one would a shroud being placed over one's head. The lab exam for Dr. Quiring's anatomy class is in the morning. The exam will consist of identifying parts of a cat which I hope I shall never see again. The problem, of course, was we had cut too many labs and somehow relegated studying for this exam to a wonderful south island party the fraternity had on Saturday night. I know we had a marvelous time because we went from Saturday night until Monday morning. There was no Sunday that weekend.
Half of our course grade depended on passing the lab exams. Doug Winter and I knew our fate was pending in the wind that evening. We had to do something, and it had to be remarkably clever and ingenious. We had to get our hands on a cat. Now, there was a huge sign posted in the anatomy lab where they kept the specimens cool, "Taking Lab Specimens From This Room Will Result In Severe Disciplinary Action If Not Suspension From the University." Doug was slightly more laid back that I was and intended to let fate ride its course. I was not so sublime. I had a plan! I always carried my books and sundry objects in a beat-up. large, brown satchel. I took it and quickly walked back to Adelbert Road to the biology building, went upstairs to the lab and, to my good fortune, there was a class in it. One more live body would not be noticed. I entered the room and spotted the lab instructor off in a corner doing what lab instructors by nature do in corners. [ed note: no comment on what is meant by "doing what lab instructors by nature do in corners" -- choke!] I quickly went into the specimen room, opened the drawer which held our cat and which due to rigor mortis was stretched out with both legs forward and behind. How could I get a three-and-a-half foot cat into a 20-inch satchel? "Ah!" I thought. Dismantle the cat! That was easier said than done, but I quickly broke all four legs and folded each one together, reducing the size such that I could rather quickly squeeze it into my satchel. Nonchalantly walking out of the specimen room, I noticed the lab instructor still reading Mad magazine. I scurried out the door, down the steps, and back to the fraternity house.
I said, "Doug, we have it made," and he looked at me curiously. I said, "Look!" I opened my satchel, letting out enough formaldehyde to mummify all fraternity brothers present as well as one dead cat. An hour later, I placed the cat on newspapers on the coffee table in the living room along with manuals on cat anatomy. Doug made a big bowl of popcorn which we also placed on the table next to said cat. For the next many hours, we repeatedly identified a mass of spaghetti-like veins, arteries, nerves, etc., as well as various organs large and small whose unique functions have long since faded from memory. Needless to say, we had cat particles everywhere, much to the chagrin of our poor fraternity brothers whose comments are not worthy of this epistle.
We stayed up half the night. I got a headache from the formaldehyde. Doug was smeared on the ceiling. The next morning, I squeezed cat remains back into my satchel and departed off to the lab where the test would begin at 8. I sneaked the cat back into the drawer into the specimen room and proceeded to take my place, waiting for the distribution of the exam. Unfortunately, I forgot that my satchel, now empty, still carried the fragrant odor of formaldehyde. I quickly took it into the men's room and dumped it into the wastebasket, hoping to retrieve it later (which I ultimately did). Doug and I both passed the exam--not exactly with flying colors. I don't know what letter grade comes after "F," but we passed it.
One interesting occurrence happened the following week in the lab. We were still finishing our dissection of our cat when I noticed standing beside me was Dr. Quiring. I looked up. He looked down. He had a slightly puzzled look on his face as he looked at my cat with the lower portion of its legs broken and dangling like a broken clothespin. I thought he was going to ask how I had achieved that anatomical configuration. I thought I was dead. I said nothing but proceeded with my dissection. I saw him pass me by, gut gave me one last glance. And that, dear friends, is why to this day I love dogs.
- Vignette #227: (from Joe R) Okay, Jim Deibel and Doug Winter! After that display, and the veiled reference to a lab assistant masturbatinug in the corner, don't you now see the importance of more careful scrutiny of our beloved site? That is, shouldn't we carefully protect a site wherein modern theories of physics are debated and periodic references to classical music and memories of sitting in front of the fireplace on Bellflower slowly drawing on our pipes and discussing the material of the day's lectures is the norm and are discussed in a mature and delicate manner? And surely, you'd rather look at pictures of sweet smiling babies than . . . skinned cat cadavers, wouldn't you, Jim? . . . Well, to be honest, I would prefer cat cadavers to those awful evenings when folks are showing off endless pictures of their beautiful babies. But were Doug's photos of the cats a little too much?
Just wondering . . .
By the way, Doug; you did take the pictures from the ceiling as was suggested by Larry, didn't you? Larry never came right out and gave you the credits for the colorful photography.
- Vignette #228: (from Joe R) Okay, so this is double dipping!
First, I have to admit that what Larry Yax wrote was in the highest literary traditions of our august society and thus, I applogize for my unkind remarks (made in jest, of course) above. It truly belongs in Harry's Place, the High Holy Tabernacle of Literary Pursuits of the Hudson Chapter of the Alpha Delta Phi.
That said, I have a memory to relate: Larry's story reminds me of those terrible days when Al, Christ and I were taking vertibrate anatomy and would come into the frat house reeking with formaldehyde. Al took most of the brunt of the teasing (maybe because the name "Al" gets the emphasis in "Formaldehyde!) but there wasn't a way you could tell which of us smelled more or worse than the other two. If anything, my memory of Al's clothes and cleanliness put him at least a couple of steps above me. As regards that awful final that Larry so well described, I think Christ Koconis and Al Hauser both got A's at the end in VA, but I'm almost sure I got a low B or even maybe a C. I hated that class worse than death itself. Surely they aren't still using formaldehyde on cadavers, are they? Harry Kautz: Did they use anything like formaldehyde on those alien cadavers in Roswell, New Mexico? Surely not!
But aside from that, unlike Larry Yax, I have five kitties today whom I would die for. But I promise you all that I will never ever post their pictures--nor nor will I post all of my grandchildren's pictures--at least not in Harry's Place, Jim.
Please forgive me for double-dipping in these vignettes following Larry's great (very well-written) story, but I felt I had to say "I'm sorry!" for my unkind remarks above.
- Vignette #229: (from Harry)
On nicknames: The one I remember for your brother, Tom Ryan is that Russ Egolf would call him "T-Leo". Russ would say it like he was an Italian Gangster, Like: "hey, T-Leo!" All I can think of for Big Dan was from a Roman Orgy type partyback in the E. 117th house. It was set up that Dan and his date would make an entrance to The "Great Gate at Kiev" from "Pictures at an Exhibition",very dramatic music. Then a jazz instrumental came in that sort of gave the mood of a big man cavorting around. Wish I could remember the song (something about a duck?) - I think it inspired a nickname for Dan. Not too helpful, I guess, but maybe someone else of the earlier time might remember more.
- Vignette #230: (from Joe R)
Voilla! That's was it! We called Dan Ehlert, "Ubiquitous" for some time before and after that Roman Orgy Party. Thanks, Harry. We had some other Latin sounding names for various brothers, like "Proboscus" for Joe Szabo (already mentioned), but I've long forgotten them.
- Vignette #231: (from Oreon)
On Nicknames: Because Norm Heyman was somewhat athletic, a few of us used to say "Noooorm" while one's index finger and thumb on one's nose, and pulling it down as we said the word nasally (kind of like a punch drunk fighter would). Also, because we were past the "Paul Meiland" crisis with the Alumni of (God Forbid) allowing a person of Jewish ancestry into the fraternity, Norm
would occassionally refer to himself as a charter member of "Kappa-Iota-Kappa-Epsilon" or "KIKE".
Tom Neff, Mike Deibel, and I have occasionally referred to Dan Ehlert as "Dan "Smellfart". Not very imaginative, or creative, but Hell...we were only teenagers.
- Vignette #232: (from Harry) [In response to e-mail requesting NASA/Harry Kautz take on the "face on Mars]
Subject: What’s loose? The subject line of Joe’s last message was "what's up". Forgive my changing that to "what's loose", but it's a leftover phrase from the Wernher von Braun era. He also left us with the saying :"Ze computer ist vershimmeled (sp?)", and many others. He had the best Christmas parties. The frauleins! the schnapps! One thing about von Braun, he could really bring in the frauleins. (Of course, we knew he was a fast talker right from the beginning). But the above is a digression from my original purpose.
You want me to address that "face" on Mars. There is no official NASA version that interests me. There are things whispered in the halls. People generally assume it was made in the likeness of humans. Actually, the rumor is that humans were made in the likeness of that "face". It was all supposed to have started long ago in a galaxy far away. (Don't they always?) There were these "beings" having a party. They designed the silliest looking creature they could. While being quite advanced in space travel they were not very advanced in holding their liquor, so they brow beat one of their lesser numbers to go to some planet and create a race of these silly looking creatures. ("Brow beat is not technically correct since they didn't have eyebrows).
He found a planet, built a model, and FAX'ed a photo home. The leaders allowed as it was a good likeness to what they wanted but they balked at creating such silly things on a red planet. (Red was a holy color for them). So they made him go to another planet. Being low on fuel, he moved to a nearby planet, did his dirty work, and left. But I don't think he made it home. But, being a lesser number in their culture he was not missed. So you see there has been a good bit of whispering in the halls. Maybe you shouldn't pay any attention to it.
PS: What makes you (Joe R) sure Elvis Presley did not descend on Grace Mansion on January 1?
- Vignette #233: (from Joe R) Well, we asked for it (using the imperial "we," of course)! Being an Alpha Delt and adhering to its literary traditions, I often find myself reading such literary gems as the Weekly World News while standing in line at the grocery counter. It was thus that I became aware of NASA's long-standing conspiracy of silence in several areas, most notably UFOs, the face on the surface of Mars, and Elvis Presley's soon-to-happen descent upon Grace mansion. Harry has now put to rest the questions surrounding the "Face on Mars." And of course, Elvis' descent upon Grace mansion was put off for a year thanks to Harry Kautz's correction on the date of the New Millennium's real kickoff (sometime between 31 January 2000 and 1 January 2001). But Harry's astuteness re. the Millennium's actual beginning and others of Harry's vignettes led me to suspect that he had other NASA secrets buried in Top Secret safes and encrypted Alpha Delta Phi newsletters. Hopefully, we'll get the full story on UFOs from Harry soon too, and maybe even an answer to the questions surrounding Abraham Lincoln's and Jack Kennedy's assassinations.
No comment on John McCain trouncing Dubya in New Hampshire. Being it's Ground Hog's Day, I feel it would be sacriligious to bring up politics on one of A.D.Phi's High Holy Days.
But I can ask if Domenic Federico, Jack DiCillo, Nino Arsina or Frank Koss had nicknames, can't I?
And who, among you, knows the name of the very last Hudson Alpha Delt to be initiated? And when did this happen and how did he (the last Hudson Alpha Delt) "fellowship" after the doors were finally closed on one of the great chapters of American history?
- Vignette #234: (from Jim)
Domenic Federico's nickname was "Howdy Doody" because he looked remarkably like the little fella. Joe Szabo's name of Proboscus came about as the result of a Greek "Toga" party. (I know Romans had togas, but who said we couldn't have a Greek one?) Sid Perzy's name was InSIDious; Koconis's name was Koconis; Ryan's name was Ryanocerous; Ehlert's name was Ubiquitous. That's about all I can remember. I also don't remember any particular nickname that we had for Tom (your brother). [ed. note: We are really getting a pretty good list finally. However, Jim, wasn't it Bill Hartley who looked remarkably like Howdy Doody? I truly can't recall the nickname for him, but looking at old snapshots, I have to believe it was him. What do you think?]
- Vignette #235: (from Joe R)
I remember two more, but have no idea to whom the names were to be attached. One was "Diabolicus" and the other is/was "Perfidious." I'm almost sure that Diabolicus was Jim Deibel, but haven't the faintest idea who Perfidious is/was. Any ideas? Also, to others: Wasn't "Howdy Doody" a nickname we gave to Bill Hartley? I put it after Domenic Federico's name in the list above since I wasn't around at that time, but I think we may have used that name twice, no? I won't add these additions to the list until I have some confirmation--maybe like white smoke from the Vatican or something.
The next trivia question is: who were the Hudson Chapter Presidents for the period 1955-1961 (or so)? I couldn't even place one in the correct semester or year, but recall a couple of persons like Joe Szabo (when?), Jim Deibel (when?) and Don Miller (when?). The only certainty was that Mrs Beverly, the Phi Gam owl nor I was ever even nominated. Does anyone want to try a shot at composing a list for Harry's Place?
And while one of you is at it -- how did we go about the process of election? Seriously! Was it a secret ballot with the names of the nominees on the ballots, or was it something simple like a raise of hands? I truly can't recall so simple a thing as that. I guess it's called Alzheimer's Disease. I think we announced that we had a winner by causing white smoke to come from the chimney of the frat house, but am even unsure of that detail. Help!!
And Doug: I'm still waiting for your Producer's milk truck story (when you were rushed). That story had a particular super-hero in it--and that probably explains my desire to see it in Harry's Place. ;-)
- Vignette #236: (from Harry)
Well I see by the papers that another Chinese New Year is upon us. Much celebration on Payne avenue for the year of the Dragon, 4698. I wonder if they maintain the "46" on the front of the year on their abacus's (or is it abacii?). If they don't, then they can worry, as we did, in a couple of years about a Y4.7k bug. But the Chinese are pretty logical. They probably have it worked out. Also. they probably won't start the sixth millennium until Y5.001k. Many of us would have them start their sixth millennium with Y5k. This is something they would likely find to be, well, inscrutable. [ed. note: I see that the Hudson Chapter's Keeper of the Millennia is doing his job admirably.]
- Vignette #237: (from Jim)
I can't imagine Harry Kautz thinking the Chinese were as dumb as Julian (when he "invented" the Calendar) by starting their years with "1." They most
certainly started with "0" as Julian should have, but since he only had ten
fingers and nothing that looked like a "0" he started with 1. Oh well, shows
how far the Chinese were in comparison with the Italians.
- Vignette #238: (from Harry)
Well I guess, whether you are oriental or occidental or whatever, if you want to call the first year "0" then you must call the second year "1" etc. It's just that the word "first" always conjures up a fat "1" for me. If you want to be consistent then you must speak of a "zeroth" century and "zeroth" millennium. You would find this year to be the beginning of the second millennium since 0 thru 999 would be zeroth millennium, etc. I find that inscrutable.
We shall start no millennium before its time. [ed. note: . . . so speaketh Harry Kautz, the Hudson Chapter Keeper of the Millennia!]
- Vignette #239: (from Joe R)
Although I have a reasonably weak memory in my old age, it seems to me we must take our Keeper of the Millennia’s estimations of Y5.001K with at least a tiny grain of salt, being that Harry Kautz is one of NASA’s physicists—that is, one of those guys who didn’t note the admittedly small difference, as I recall, between one English pound and 4.45 newtons—an awfully rough estimate even by Alpha Delta Phi standards. In any event, that estimate, as I’m led to believe, was just enough off the mark so as to allow my tax money to help push the last Mars orbiter to an approach (towards mars) at so low an orbit that it crashed into Mars (presumably). Of course, that same orbiter might also be under the control of aliens and being refitted and armed to do even greater damage to earth on its return trip. I ask you: is NASA in cahoots with the aliens who are among us?
Last evening, Paul Robert Meiland and I, who managed to shoot a full hour and a half on the telephone, discussed one of Harry’s office-mates at NASA—some guy named Richard Hoagland who seems preoccupied with that sort of possibility--and with the number 19.5, according to Paul. It may be that a correction Factor of 10— 0.0000000195 should be applied to all estimates of Millennia kickoffs for the next 19.5 millennia. Harry: Who is this guy, Richard Hoagland anyway?? Paul Robert Meiland seemed to think that he (RH) was pretty well-known, but I must admit to having never heard of him. Is he a close associate of yours? And while I’m at it, was NASA involved in the crash of Egypt Air 990? My favorite Newspaper, Weekly World News seems to think so, although I can only read bits and pieces as I’m standing in line at the grocery store. It certainly appears that the Weekly World News is a conduit for NASA leaks. What do you think? Hmmm . . . would your answer to that question constitute a leak? But then we are all "brothers in the bonds," right?
- Vignette #240: (from Harry)
I looked up Richard Hoagland in our phone directory and E-mail address list but neither he or anything similar appears. I must admit I hear his name whispered in the halls - but only since I read your entry. (I wonder what that means?)
Ten ta-the minus, is it 7 zeros before the 195?, is a very small number. So maybe we have just overlooked him. It may be that he is the alien in our midst.The only known aliens we seem to be "in cahoots" with are the Russians and the Chinese. We seem to have to give up on things like aircraft de-icing research to finance the Russian mistakes.
As for the Chinese, well, you have seen my unnatural fascination with the abacus. My daughter gave me one for Christmas. I find, unlike computers, you have to think when you use it. I hear Chinese children must learn to use the abacus, unlike our children who are taught to push buttons. It doesn't sound good for us.
Our plight reminds me of the rich Jewish grandmother who would spend her summers at a resort in the Catskills, (with the other rich Jewish grandmothers). A big event was the day her new grandson was to visit her. When the big moment came she and the other ladies were in rockers on the porch. The big limo pulled up, the chauffeur got out, brought the baby out lying on a silk pillow and brought it to the grandmother. All the ladies gathered around and were admiring, while the grandmother was so proud. One of them said, "Can he walk yet?" She said, "Thank God he'll never have to."
So maybe we're so rich our children will never have to think.
Boy am I grouchy this morning. I better send this off before the hackers send it the way of Amazon.com etc
- Vignette #241: (from Jim)
Re: Zeroth century of Harry's. 0-99 was the first century as 1900 to 1999 was the twentieth century. The Chinese still appeared smarter than the Italians and most other Europeans.
Still do...they either have Bill Clinton buffaloed (sp?) or he's a traitor...I could accept either explanation.
- Vignette #242: (from Joe R)
Well, if giving state secrets to a sworn enemy for campaign finance contributions is to be constituted as "traitorhood" . . . well, I guess that William Jefferson Clitoris might be that bad word, Jim.
I also learned that Richard C. Hoagland is a "former NASA official" whatever that means. I'm still checking on his possible affiliations with Alpha Delta Phi. And in that same vein, I think I know why Harry Kautz had that name change back in the late 50s. If you add the letters in the name, "Harold Eugene Crouch," you get "666." [ed. note: I quickly made a one-letter editorial in Harry's name change for reasons of National Security. See nickname list above somewhere.]
And here I was chasing around after the number "19.5"! Bigger fish are in the sea.
- Vignette #243: (from Joe R)
Having noted that at least four (and maybe five) persons from different Internet domains—meaning different ones of you—have visited Harry’s Place since I was last here, it makes no sense to “erase” my previous Vignette. Sufficeth for me to state that I am sorry if I offended Harry Kautz with my in-bad-taste non-humor relating to his nickname. His real name comes up “665” and that’s one short—my own comes up “664” which is two short, so I guess the Biblical "Beast" (or is it the Anti-Christ?) isn’t an Alpha Delt. Poor Ronald Wilson Reagan (the very best President in my lifetime, IMHO) will have to continue having idiots making unkind statements about him (relating to the "666" crap), even during this time of extreme bravery on his part--and the part of Nancy.
Harry assured me (off-line) that he wasn’t offended, so I can feel comfortable with this next “memory.” Actually, the fact that "666" is called "the Sign of the Beast" by some reminded me of it.
I think it began in the living room or somewhere like the living room in the Bellflower fraternity house. After one of the parties, we were all sitting with our dates in the dark when one of them cried out “You beast!” Now I couldn’t say for sure that it was Dorothy Murzyn’s voice, but that was the way the story went, and poor Harry Kautz was called “the Beast” for what seemed like weeks afterwards. Do you remember that one, Harry?
That can’t be as bad as what I was called after bringing Kathy Stankovich -- also known as “Kathy Stink” – to the frat house for a party one time, and forever being reminded to carry air spray whenever I brought her around. Now, that was mean! The temporary nicknames (mine and hers) were meaner. Interestingly, I met Kathy through the same high-schooler who introduced me to my ultimate wife, Flo Mrazik (now Ryan) about a year later. Hmmm . . . [ed. note: You may notice that Harry's name is underlined here and about Harry's Place. Just turn on your speakers, then click on Harry's full name, and you will see that I have added additional honor and grace to our Keeper of the Millennia.]
- Vignette #244: (from Harry)
Joe Ryan suspects that, in a dark room at the Bellflower house, a girl called me a beast. I don't remember that but I remember a hay ride where I had a date with a girl who was Joe's neighbor. After the date she is supposed to have called me an "animal" to one of Joe's sisters. I have that only second hand of course, but Joe assured me she meant it as a compliment. So I accepted it as such. I guess I was a little proud of that.
- Vignette #245: (from Harry)
Today's holiday reminds me that the first non-student, full time guy that worked at the print shop was named Jim Valentine. I think I tried to remember his name in an earlier vignette. It might not be worth posting but you gotta grab memories as soon as they hit you.
- Vignette #246: (from Joe R)
Ye Gads! Harry Kautz is Right! I got two completely unrelated memories mixed up. I remember now which brother it was in the living room of at Bellflower when a garter pinched the young lady and she yelled out something kind of ugly. I do recall far more vividly though (after Harry's reminder) how we brothers razzed Harry Kautz and called him "animal," "beast" and other similar names like that for quite a while after Nancy or Mary Lou passed to us what the young lady said. But like so many such incidents, we got over it, and only now do we recall that we have such a brutal creature in our midst. [ed note: has anyone double-clicked on recent occurrences of Harry's name? What do you think?]
- Vignette #247: (from Jim)
Harry Kautz's remembrance of Jim Valentine who worked at the print shop for some remote and unknown reason reminded me of another pledge that never went active into the fraternity...James Harold Herbert III. His father was a muckity muck at Socony-Mobil at the time. We used to call him Herbert the Pervert for some obscure and now forgotten reason (probably because it sort of rhymed). Interestingly enough (at least to me) I wound up working for Socony-Mobil and it was the closest thing in my working career that got me close to my major (geology). Herbert fixed me up for a dance one time with a cousin of his named Karen Norman who was a blonde knockout. Unfortunately he drove that night, thought it best if we scarfed down a few brews and we were an hour late picking her up. Although she was a good sport about the whole thing and went to the dance escorted by me, she did not speak to me or Jim the whole evening and though I gentlemanly enough escorted her to her doorstep, she just turned around and went in. Jim Herbert and I went out again and finished what we had started earlier and most likely got lit.
- Vignette #248: (from Joe R)
Lots of Jims suddenly. Do we have nicknames for Jim Valentine or Jim Beveredge? (sp?) I added Jim Herbert's nickname in the list above. Was Jim Beveredge an actual member? I believe he was, and, as a matter of fact, was the one of us from the singlemost wealthy family (of those of us around at that time), is that not so? What became of Valentine and Herbert re. becoming members? For that matter, where is Jim Beveredge today? Does anyone know what became of Jim Valentine or Jim Herbert? This non-Vignette ought to generate a Vignette or two, I would hope. We seem to have kept some semblance of contact with only 25% of our Jims--or did I miss one or two?
- Vignette #249: (from Harry)
Nick Romito's picture was on the first page of the business section of this mornings Plain Dealer. Good color picture of him in one of his wilderness stores. Says he has three wilderness stores in the Cleveland area and is going on-line also. Good to see what an Alpha Delt beginning can lead to.
In other matters: I remember that Don Miller would say he was confused by the song title: "Red Sails in the Sunset". He said he didn't know if that meant there was this boat with red sails that was seen in the sunset - or - there was this guy named "Red" who was going to set sail at sunset. I would say "yah, I know how you feel. there is this other song, and I never remember whether its title is "Just a Little Bit North of South Carolina" - or - "Just a Little Bit South of North Carolina." (And do you know, to this day I can't keep that straight.)
- Vignette #250: (from Joe R)
Yeh, Harry Kautz's story of Nick Romito and what an Alpha Delt beginning can lead to brings things to my mind too. For one thing, I thought the same thing while I was in the drunk tank drying out at Landstuhl Hospital in Landstuhl, Germany. Also, I had that same profound thought while I was curled up drunk as a skunk behind a tombstone in some God-forsaken cemetary just south and west of Bien Hoa (that's north and east of what used to be called Saigon) while a firefight was ongong above my head (like inches!)--that wasn't too unlike hiding behind Sam Eells tombstone (or whoever's it was) ducking beer bottles and rocks. yeh, it's good sometimes for us to see what an Alpha Delt beginning can lead to.
- Vignette #251: (from Anon)
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill Clinton looks at Al, chuckles, and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy." Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." Hillary Clinton tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "I could throw one hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make one hundred people happy."
Chelsea Clinton rolls her eyes, looks at all of them, and says, "I could throw all three of you out the window and make 250 million people happy."
[ed note: Okay, okay . . . which of you nasty guys did that? Remember--no spam is permitted in Harry's Place! Besides, this might be construed to be political by some of the brethren. Right, Harry? apoligies to all. But then, it is the Presidents Day Weekend, right?]
- Vignette #252: (from Joe R)
Okay, I get the hint guys! No more spam from JTR. (Thanks, Jim!) I just thought we needed something to commemorate Presidents Day. After all, the current President does little to give honor and glory to past presidents who must be tossing and tunning in their graves. Uhhh . . . was that perhaps a little eentsie bit political?
But whatever . . . to get this thing recharged, I have a number of topics that cry out for Vignettes:
- Hell Week (your own) – most memorable experience during HW would do.
- Being “rushed” – your very first impression(s) of Alpha Delta Phi
- Music at the frat house – was Tschaikovsky really preferred over The Beastie Boys, the Beatles or Madonna? Was anyone in the Frat House ever interested in any of the German composers—if there were any?
- What are some of the stories behind the nicknames we now have accumulated? We have some, and maybe that’s about all we really know. How in hell did Jim Deibel ever get the name “big pecker”? And was Mike Deibel’s . . . uhhh . . forget it.
- How many hours per week did Douglas Oreon Winter put into creating nicknames?
- How exactly did the Hudson Chapter (as an active chapter) meet its demise?
- Did George Szell (Hungarian, according to Brother Joseph Andrew Szabo), the Cleveland Orchestra’s composer in those days, ever make it to becoming the lead drummer for the Rolling Stones or did he just fade away into obscurity? What did happen to him anyway?
- Just how badly did Kathy Stink stink?
- I personally would like to see a really serious and nicely written obit on Don Miller, one that highlighted his contributions to the chapter. He was one of the very few persons whom I believe put his heart and soul into the Chapter and helped it have the revival from which we all benefited.
- Didn’t we have a sort of “mascot” in the form of a fictitious name who represented the chapter, or perhaps the entire A.D.Phi?
- What about your most memorable class at WRU? It might be one that you flunked or dropped out of—for me, it was a “D”—although I surely dropped and subsequently failed more than one—or maybe one you excelled at.
- What was our most notable athletic achievement? (Different ones of you might have different answers on this one.)
Well that’s a dozen ideas. Surely, you guys can come up with something. I’ll send this to my Hudson Chapter email distribution list also, so don’t be upset at getting the same list twice. Let’s go, guys! We can easily hit 500 Vignettes, IMHO. Those of you in Cleveland can take the list to your monthly meeting down at “the Tables Down at Maurie’s,” and create questions of your own too—with answers! Jim Deibel: Just as Harry is the keeper of the Millennia, you should be named Hudson High Holy Keeper of Memorabilia. Just as we go to Harry when we're missing a millennium or so, we can come to you for a memory refresh.
- Vignette #253: (from Harry)
OK so here are a couple of hell week ones.
Russ Egolf, Joe Szabo, and I went through hell week together. I remember Egolf and I washing walls in a bedroom with Don Miller overseeing us. Don's way was to sit out in the hall reading a book, and I suspect, hoping he wouldn't hear us goofing off. He said he expected to hear us working.
Russ and I were, of course, tired and hungry. I devised a plan to lay down next to the wall and slide a wet cloth back and forth along the wall to sound like work. Russ broke into laughter at the site of me. That brought Don Miller into see what was up. When he saw me he started to laugh too. But he pulled himself together and tried to act serious.
- Vignette #254: (from Harry)
Another from Hell Week: Joe Szabo and I had jobs downtown which got us out of the house in the early evenings. One evening we got a hold of some candy bars. We went into a men’s room and taped them to our legs to hide from the actives and share with our fellow pledges. But when we got back the candy had started to melt. Nobody was hungry enough to eat candy bars that had been melting on our legs.
- Vignette #255: (from Harry)
Another from Hell Week:
My job was in the Kroger's store on Prospect Avenue. They watched everybody there so I couldn't eat any of the food around me. One fat girl who worked there kept wanting to buy me food, but I was afraid of what she might want in return. (I was young and foolish then). Finally I did borrow money from her to buy some apples, grapes, and bananas. This time when I got back I hid them in the snow by a basement window. When I got them inside the bananas were in bad shape. The apples and grapes were good. The actives found out soon. I remember Dan Ehlert eating one of my precious apples. I remember confessing to Bruce Jordan [ed note: For the younger brothers, Bruce Jordan's animated "photograph" is found to the right of Vignette #24] that I had eaten "several grapes". Everybody thought I had said "seven grapes", but it was "several grapes".
Well there you are.
- Vignette #256: (from Jim B -- Cornell '67)
You know, I am just a Cornell Alpha Delt (and if OMJ didn't tell you, his son John's father-in-law and colleague of the main Yaxter [ed note: reference to our own Larry Yax] down here in Pensacola), but I was impressed by the flood of memories I got from that list of a dozen ideas for the memory book. I daresay that my class of 38 pledge brothers could come up with a grand line of stories, none publishable, of course, in response to just such a set of questions.
- Vignette #257: (from Jim B -- Cornell '67)
By the "mascot", do you mean the mean old alum who came back for initiation and made sure we all made the grade just like he did in '06--it was "Brother Barber" at our chapter, and I don't know if he was from the national, or just down from Rochester or Hamilton to crush our stones, but he was one sonofabitch...and how many ways did he want us to recite XAIPE...modified iambic pentameter, celtic chant, monastic mumble, what was the key to making him happy so's we could be initiated?
- Vignette #258: (from Jim B -- Cornell '67)
My freshman room mate and the guy across the hall both pledged ADP as frosh, but I held out (went home to see my honey, now wife of 33 years, and missed freshman rush) until fall term sophomore year to rush and by then there was only one house for me--The "Phi". My big brother was from Shaker Heights and University School. I was the "super pledge" who pissed off all the freshmen pledges in the spring term, 'cause I would come in to dinner and recite the names, hometown, college/major, house office, and pinmate of all 65 initiated men (and social members, too) in the room, and then go back to Delta Upsilon and wash dishes while the freshman pledges stewed in their puddles of shit when they couldn't remember their big brother's (or worse yet, the pledgemaster's) pinmate's name and where she went to school.
Is that the kind of stuff you want, Brother Joe?
- Vignette #259: (from Jim B -- Cornell '67)
Or do you want the musings of the jaded juniors sitting in the living room at 3 AM on a Thursday morning in late April, closing out the chapter on another bottle of King George IV (silly me, I thought that was a Roman numeral, rather than "intravenous") Scotch and discussing the possible relationship of Prokofiev's "Le Sacre du Printemps" to the last (alleged) virgin in the Tri Delt house, and the Ripple party we planned with the Wells College girls that weekend . . . ya know, I think I need to start a Cornell chapter page rather than spill my guts to you Hudson guys...
XAIPE, James "Arvid" Brady Cornell '67
- Vignette #260: (from Joe R)
Shit!! Guys -- are we gonna let a guy who apparently pledged with the entire freshman class of snotty-nosed West Point cadets put more memories onto Harry's Page than we can? Let's show Cornell what Hudson Chapter Alpha Delts are made of! And BTW, Brother Barber of the Cornell, Rochester or Hamilton (I guess, although I truly believed that Brother Barber was a Hudson Alpha Delt) Class of '06 (Vignette #257) did indeed visit the Hudson Chapter on more than one occcasion and, in fact, came to our open house when we opened the doors on Bellflower. And yes, he was an ass-hole (may he rest in peace) from my memories of some of his stories back at E. 117th Street. Early on, one of the brothers actually died from injuries suffered during Hell Week, but maybe that was just one of his many, many "stories." Dan Ehlert knew him more or less personally if one of you Cleveland guys could call Dan and get more on him.
But one way or the other, I am glad that Jim Brady (whose daughter is, for me, a most beautiful daughter-in-law) added his two cents' worth, if for no other reason than to prove to us that not every single one of the Cornell Alpha Delts was gay--as we were led to believe. Yes, most of them were Democrats, as I recall from my visit there during the Convention, and I understand they taught Latin, Greek, French and other strange foreign languages there, although I personally think we were better prepared for the world having been forced to learn "Murray Hill Street Talk," Remedial Arithmetic and Rocky Colavito's batting average.
But all the kidding aside, we welcome anything you, Jim Brady, or others than Hudson Alpha Delts have to add to this--if for no other reason than to point up the differences between and among the various chapters. We at the Hudson Chapter (typically) had pledge classes of fewer than a half dozen, for example.
- Vignette #261: (from Jim D. -- Hudson)
Since we at the Hudson Chapter were just the "poor kissing cousins" of the members at the eastern schools, we always welcomed with open arms our "prestigious" brethren from those schools and rolled out our tattered and worn "red" carpet for them all. As for your [Jim Brady's] comments in the Hudson page . . . here's our red carpet (and I mean to be presumptuous enough to speak for Hudson in general) rollout for you [Jim Brady]. It's good to hear from a long distance and definitely warmer fraternity brother. Unfortunately, we can't share in your experiences first-hand, but good stories are always good stories . . . even from Cornell.
- Vignette #262: (from Harry)
In vignette #252 twelve questions were nailed to the church door. I have
submitted a response to one and now I will spill out recollections of the
one about music in the fraternity house.
At the E. 117 house it was Don Miller's portable phonograph. He may have brought it downstairs for parties but mostly I remember it upstairs blasting out from his room in the mornings. Russ Egolf and I recalled it at the august 99 reunion. Every morning while we were getting up he treated us to "The Oranges of Jaffe" for lord, I don't know how many months. But it did wake us up.
Al Hauser was a big Jazz fan. I remember bringing in my "Lullaby of Birdland" by George Shearing and the Ray Charles Singers. (Not to be confused with Ray Charles, the singer). Al and I allowed as George Shearing
was the greatest in jazz.
(I still have that old 78 rpm MGM Shearing. I don't much throw out old records. I like to put them on tape for listening in the car. But now I digress).
On Bellflower it was Doug Winter's hi fi. (Pre stereo, I think). It was a great improvement. It was hi fi, after all, and it was situated in the living room next to the fireplace for several years. It served us well for many parties etc.
You asked about the Beastie Boys. Well they weren't around then. It was more likely Frank Sinatra with Nelson Riddle. I remember that great album from "High Society" with Bing Crosby, Louie Armstrong, etc.
Tchaikovsky? I remember conducting his Fifth symphony and many other things in front of Doug Winter's speaker. Most brothers will probably want to forget that.
Music always has lots of memories attached to it. Maybe other people will think of things.
- Vignette #263: (from Joe R)Oh yes, I surely remember Harry Kautz wildly conducting Tchaikovsky's Fifth Symphony. I was always thankful when someone had mercifully drawn the front curtains prior to such an occasion. Passersby might have thought that we Alpha Delts were practicing to fly without benefit of normal flight equipment (airplane, hot-air balloon, etc.). Does anyone recall either Brother Tchaikovsky's first name or our nickname for him? Jim: What was his middle name?
Harry: Why were there no great classical German or Sudanese composers?
But seriously, we're still waiting for Jim Deibel and/or Doug Winter to fill in all of the missing middle names from Vignette #214, above.
Also seriously, wasn't a brother or two in the process of writing his or their own symphony at one point? Probably Harry Kautz and someone else, but my memory fails me on this one. That's one thing that those of us from Cleveland (home to such musical giants as George Szell and Rocky Colavito) had that the brothers from the Eastern chapters like Cornell never had -- a real understanding and appreciation for music. I think Jon Dworkin may have been one of the original Beastie Boys--and didn't you suggest he had pledged--or started to pledge--at Cornell sometime before you met him, Jim D.? And what was the relationship or nickname (if any) that we had concocted between Don Miller and Frank Sinatra, aside from ther fact that Frank could sing? I think we had given Don a nickname like "Frank" or "Blue Eyes" at one point, but I will defer to Doug Winter for confirmation on that. [Incidentally, I got bopped off while putting this Vignette onto Harry's Place--did someone get a strange half-written Vignette?]
- Vignette #264: (from Jim)
Let me get the Don Miller Obituary out of the way first. Well, its
not as much an obituary as it is an explanation as best as I can recall some 25 + years later.
I was living in Springfield, Ohio at the time and Don (living in the southern
California area) was planning to come to our place during the long Thanksgiving weekend. I called him the week before to review plans, etc., etc., the next evening I got a call from my mother saying that Don was dead and to get more information to call Carl Cobb.
(Carl B. Cobb Hudson ‘49).
Mrs. Miller had called Carl to tell him about Don’s death...Carl was a close friend of Don and the Miller family...Carl told me as much as he was able to
get out of Mrs. Miller and so I called the Millers and talked with Don’s
mother and younger brother, Jim.
Apparently, as the story goes, Don was out the night before (the night of the day we spoke) drinking with some of his buddies. In typical Milleresque style he felt he was too drunk to drive so he took a cab home. Evidently he had been having a tough time sleeping
and so was using a prescription to get sleep. He went into his apartment,
took a sleeping pill, and as Carl explained to me, the kind of medicine he was taking was terrible to mix with alcohol. Apparently the very nature of the medicine was such that due to the alcohol mix, one could forget that a pill was taken and you might take two or three without being aware that you were taking two or three.
Anyway, they found him the next day dead in
the middle of his apartment. The coroner in Los Angeles County called it a
suicide, but there was no note, and Jim Miller said that Don had partially
packed, had already gotten his airplane ticket and was almost ready to roll.
My conversation with Don the day before he died was really upbeat and he was looking forward to coming out to our house. Neither Jim nor Mrs. Miller believed it was suicide, but was an accidental overdose. The Los Angeles coroner was probably just eager to get the paperwork off his desk and the
easy way out without any prolonged investigation was to declare his death a
For what its worth I don’t believe it was a suicide either. He
was too upbeat and normal when I talked with him and none of his previous letters (or tapes...we used to tape letters to each other) showed any sign of depression or whatever it is that would lead one to destroy himself.
- Vignette #265: (from Joe R -- really more of just a note on the above)
Thank you very much, Jim Deibel, for that very informative Vignette relating to a very sensitive and painful subject. Having worked with the US Air Force overseas for several years, I certainly recall the same kind of problem when it came to the USAF diagnosing any death that was related to a mixture of alcohol and drugs, in particular, Valium. The easy way out was always "suicide" and it almost never, ever was, in my opinion. The last thing they ever wanted was for some Air Force doctor to be in some way liable (a.k.a. "accountable") for an airman's death. Having been pretty close to being an alcoholic for most of my adult life, and very much addicted to Valium for many, many years, I can surely attest to the fact that it was impossible to know how many Valium or sleeping sedatives I was taking when I was as high as a kite. I was lucky more than once. Thank you for the very insightful Vignette.
- Vignette #266: (from Jim)
I am attacking the list of questions that Joe posed as the spirit moves me.
What is the most notable sporting achievement by A.D. Phi? Two stand out in my mind. (1) When we beat Pi Kappa Alpha in basketball 104 to 6 or some such outrageous score . . . it was over 100 at any rate. (2) The other memorable sporting achievement was in later years when the IFC put us on probation and would not let us participate in any school functions. We established a volleyball team called the (surprise, surprise) A. D. P. Club and proceeded to win the championship . . . beating even the Delts and the Phi Gams and all the other "Big" houses. The sport was not as scripted as it is today, but we played well as a team and went on to win big. There was some moaning from the Fraternities because they accused the ADP Club of being the Alpha Delts. But since we paid our money and followed the rules it was one of those "tough shit" moments for the big houses.
[ed. note: Yes, yes, I recall well your first-mentioned achievement when we beat Pi Kappa Alpha by more than 100 points. But don’t you think you should tell "the rest of the story" -- as Paul Harvey used to say. Another vignette is needed here, Jim Deibel, to finally spill the beans to the rest of the world—in particular, the sad Pi Kappa Alpha boys who never knew what hit them—and the meager half dozen or so folks who come to Harry’s Place, some of whom surely don't know the ugly details. Again though, that fellow who lived in our frat house--the one whose first name was "Don"--comes to mind. Also, possibly Blain Kohler (sp?). Either Blain or Don was the one who found most of the players, no? Can you put the entire story together, Jim; although I was very much "involved"--especially relating to the money--I really can't pull the details together in my mind.]
- Vignette #267: (from Jim)
Here’s a little vignette unknown but to a few (Jack DiCillo,
Dan McMahon (Lambda Chi)and me). Through political maneuvering and vote trading, we managed to get the Vice Presidency of the Senior Class of 1961 for yours truly [Jim Deibel]. Yours truly was also responsible along with Dan McMahon to put on the Senior Class party. Our senior class President was a fellow by the name of Chuck Goldstein. Since the party was to be off campus, but close by, with the help and prodding of Jack DiCillo, I chose the IAB Club(Italian-American Brotherhood Club). Jack was on talking and friendly terms with Mr. Milano. Mr. Milano was the king strunz (Godfather to the rest of us)...nice old guy too.
On the night of the party about eleven people, including Chuck Goldstein,
showed up. Jack and I were there along with Dan McMahon. Chuck and some of his buddies left the not-so-lively party very early(around 8:30). The balance of us, about six or seven as I recall, were just sitting around, farting, drinking beer and belching . . . you know--the natural things we do when we’re having a rip roaring ball! About 9:30 or so we all ran out of gas
and since it was a small bunch of seniors who had probably never even met one
another before and were running out of cheery conversation, we decided to leave.
The Italian American Club bouncer or host or whatever you want to call him said, “Hey fellas, take-a youselves some beer witchyu...it’s part of the party.” Who were we to argue with a heavy set, heavy jowled swarthy man with a nasty looking bump by his left armpit?
Soooo, we all took about six cases of beer each and went about our merry
Two weeks later, Chuck got a bill from the IAB Club for an outrageous amount of money...in the neighborhood of $450-500 as I recall, and if you
all recall, back then, that was a pretty healthy neighborhood. Chuck refused to authorize payment.
Next thing I know...probably a week later, Jack gives me a call rather panic
stricken. You see, Jack’s father was a bookie on Murray Hill and of course was probably well associated with the IAB Club. Anyway, Jack says that two goons stopped by their house because they had recognized Jack at the party and they wanted to get a little financial matter straightened out. Since it was at that point pretty serious, I called Chuck up and asked that he authorize payment.
He of course said “fuck you,” or some such appropriate
exclamation. I explained about the goons and that I had given them his name
so they could talk with him. I also explained that they were not the typical bill collectors (unless you called the bill collectors on Murray Hill typical) and that they might hurt him.
To shorten a rather lengthy tale, Chuck paid the bill. He also had his
fraternity brother, who was editor of the “Lux” yearbook, remove Dan
McMahon’s and Jim Deibel’s names from the 1961 Officers section of the year book.
The 1961 yearbook does not list a Senior Class Vice President (me) or Senior Class Treasurer (Dan).
[ed. note: But now we Alpha Delts know. Congratulations, Jim! I’m only glad that they finally authorized payment for the beer.]
- Vignette #268: (from Jim)
I would like to make a correction to my last vignette . . . Dan McMahon was a "Deke" not a Lambda Chi...and Chuck made his fraternity brother the official Treasurer of the class and his picture is next to Chuck's. However, mine still has not appeared as class vice president. Sigh. [ed. note: Such injustice!! Chuck Goldstein is a bastard. Hopefully, those of you who still meet once every so often at "the Tables Down at Maury's" will pepper his fraternity house (which one?) with fresh cow dung.]
- Vignette #269: (from Joe R) Uhhh . . . Harry:
I quote from the March 7, 2000 issue of the Weekly World News (and yes, I know today is only March 1, 2000): "Shell-shocked NASA scientists (sounds like you, Harry Kautz . . . a.k.a. H. Kautzkopf!) are scrambling to come to grips with a top secret (TS) radio transmission received from the icy vastness of deep space that appears to be a communication from God Himself." The article goes on to describe some sort of asteroid that was spotted by you, Harry--or one of your cohorts at NASA--that will arrive at (and destroy) the earth in the year 2022 AD.CE. Can you give us more info, Harry? Either you or one of your friends at NASA have given the asteroid a code name: "2000 BF19," if that helps. I saw no indications of an asterisk on the 2000, but assume you have an explanation for that. Apparently, you guys are in close communications with both Pope John Paul II and Dr. Billy Graham (neither one an Alpha Delt, I might add!) on this, but you haven't seen fit to warn those of us who hang on your every word in Harry's Place.
As Alpha Delta Phi's High Holy Keeper of the Millennia, you might at least give us a head's up on something with the power of "500,000 hydrogen bombs" (quoted directly) that will be here in January 2022. Please explain!
- Vignette #270: (from Harry)
I have not been given total clearance on this subject, but the word is not
to worry, big brother (or is it big sister?) will take care of everything. [ed. note: that's what I keep hearing from Bill and Hillary Clinton, Bill Bradley and Al Gore these days too. Hmmm . . . I wonder . . .]
People are always jumping the gun on these sorts of things. After all,
didn't we have movies and TV programs promising space odyssey's etc in
1999? 2001? When I was a wee lad I read Buck Rogers "in the 25th century",
(or was it Duck Dogers "in the 24 1/2 century"?), anyway, there was an
episode when he and his sidekicks discovered the wreck of the first moon
landing in (get this) 1948!
Oh brother, what happened in 1948? 1999? What's gonna happen in 2001? I
don't think so.
From "Back to the Future part II" we see that people will have flying cars
in 2022, not dirty big asteroids.
As for Pope John Paul and Billy Graham not being Alpha Delts, its not because
they didn't try. Indeed, They may each have turned to the cloth after being
denied the chance to wear the Star and Crescent. Sort of "The Student
(That last paragraph is just conjecture of course. All I know for sure is
that our beloved pledge master Bruce Jordan once told us that George Washington
Carver had been black balled. I learned everything I ever needed to know in
life from my pledge master.)
- Vignette #271: (from Harry)
The reference to "The Student Prince" reminds me of music in the fraternity
house. Paul Meiland and I would do spoonerisms on the song from that play: "When It's Summertime in Heidelberg". Paul topped it off with "When It's
Heimer Time in Subtleberg". He laughed so hard he almost couldn't get it out.
In a recent vignette I referred to Doug Winter's hi fi. He had built that from a kit. The first time I heard it, it was in his room at his family's home
on Pearl Road. I brought over my Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra" and
something else, and we listened to them. I decided then I wanted a hi fi
system. I remember Doug Winter going with me down to Olson's Electronics on Euclid to buy a system. I remember I started to take a number and stand in line when Doug laughed and said "If you're buying a whole hi fi system you don't
have to wait in line!" He was right of course.
- Vignette #272: (from Oreon)
Harry Kautz is mistaken. I never gave him violin lessions because I never played it myself. [ed. note: this was an error on my part in getting “French horn” and “violin” mixed in a recent letter to Oreon.] Piano lessons, maybe . . . violin, no way! But since Harry is telling strange stories about me, I’ll tell you one on him:
As you may remember, I met Maureen Boudreau through you [Joe Ryan]. I had two or three dates with her in the late summer of '57, and early in '58 (my sophomore year). Harry Kautz lived in the fraternity house then, as did I. I got a call from Maureen that she and LaRue Adams (her next door neighborand girlfriend) were riding out on the Rapid Transit to visit me at the fraternity house on a weeknight, as they were curious to see it. I was enthused, and I took a bath in the "big john" (remember, acres of linoleum) and was finishing dressing while I was talking to Harry.
I remember telling Harry that I thought Maureen was so sweet, dainty, and pure that the idea of her taking a shit was unthinkable to me. Certainly such a lovely girl wouldn't do such a thing.
Obviously, I was putting Harry on, but he was taken aback. He didn't quite know what to say. Harry left the updtairs bedroom when the doorbell rang, and he went down and played butler.
He left the two girls standing in the vestibule (remember how cold it always was?), came upstairs, and announced to me: "Shitless is here!"
- Vignette #273: (from Jim)
[In response to the recent email to the Hudson Chapter distribution list asking why/how/what happened to have caused the Hudson Chapter to fold] (from Jim) The ones who might be able to tell you [us all] are not participating in "Harry's Place." I will check at the next dinner and see if any of the guys know what actually happened. The charter was withdrawn by the National, I know that happened, but not sure as to why. [ed. note: This is a starter. More facts to (hopefully) follow.]
- Vignette #274: (from Oreon)
In 1961, the year after I left, Domenic Federico was rush
chairman. He did a bang-up job and brought in an enormous pledge class (like 22
guys, I think). As best I can remember, the chapter went out because of three
By copying Jim Deibel [via email] on this, he may have a different perspective, as he was there a year longer. Jim, how far am I off the mark?
- The pledges outnumbered the actives, and immaturity and irresponsiblity
- The university called in the lease on the house (Judge Ubell's old place) on Bellflower, and the guys had no place to go.
- The Alumni didn't give a shit.
- Vignette #275: (from Joe R) Coincidentally, Paul Meiland and I were trying to recall the name of the previous tenant(s) of the Bellflower place only (literally) minutes before I logged on and received Doug Winter's insightful vignette (above). I don't believe Judge Uball's name was the name on all of the mail we were constantly having to return to the US Mail Service (or whatever it was called back then), but we're surely closer to finding the reasons behind the final curtain being brought down on Hudson Chapter. Who's in touch with Dominic Federico? As for large pledge classes, I am led to believe that the one before the one I was in--in 1954 or 1955 had more than 15 and also outnumbered the actives. Of course, there was Bruce Jordan around then and none of us were a match that guy . . .
- Vignette #276: (from Harry)
I see by the "place" that Oreon [a.k.a. Douglas O. Winter] credits me with Maureen Boudreau's nickname. That may be, but I am sure I meant it in the nicest way.
- Vignette #277: (from Harry)
Discussion of how the Chapter went under reminds me of my first encounter with 11311 Bellflower. It was probably before I had even pledged the fraternity on E. 117. [ed. note: trivia question: What was the address on E. 117th?] I had gone to the university employment office for part time work and they sent me on a Saturday, along with another student, for a one day job washing and putting up storm windows at, you guessed it, 11311 Bellflower. It was obviously for the previous owner, whether his name was Uball or what. He was a nice old guy. He gave us lunch besides a decent pay for the work.
- Vignette #278: (from Paulter) It's funny but that's the only time [back in the late 50's] in my life when middle names seemed to play an important role. Russ Egolf's middle name? Why it was "Neal," of course. [ed. note: This was with Paul Meiland's permission and almost exactly a direct quote. More to come.]
- Vignette #279: (from Jim)
1665...repeat...1665 was the address. [Reference the address of the Hudson Chapter's house on E. 117th St.]
- Vignette #280: (from Joe R)
Dateline Mar 10, 2000 AD/CE. (Harry Kautz: What is a "Star Date"?) As one gets older, one begins to think about pleasant thoughts like . . . death. Now, I know you guys are all a lot younger than me, but a terrible thought just struck me this morning for which maybe only a NASA scientist would have the answer. Assuming I have been forgiven by Whomever for all that went on at 11311 Bellflower or 1665 E. 117th Street, and I were to enter the Pearly Gates: What assurance would I have that heaven is eternal? Couldn’t God (by whatever name) simply decide to shut it all down in a blink of an eye? Basically, any “happiness” we might have would be akin to the “happiness” of a small child who simply “doesn’t know” from moment to moment whether life continues forever or not. Do any of the others of you ever have such esoteric thoughts, or are true Alpha Delts immune from fuzzy thinking like that? Should I be putting money in some technology stock and turn my mind to more meaningful thoughts?
- Vignette #281: (from Harry)
Your idea of God someday snuffing us out is alarming. I guess you have to
assume God is a loving God and would not do that. My fantasy is that God is one of maybe billions of Gods that have their own universes. They have a higher God above them, and we don't know if he is good or evil, or maybe doesn't give a damn.
- Vignette #282: (from Harry)
Reminds me, for no good reason, of the story of the engaged couple that die
in an auto accident. They go to heaven and ask St. Peter if he could arrange to have them married, as they had hoped to go to paradise as husband and wife. After some time they are married by a priest in heaven. Soon after, the new bride comes back to St. Peter and says "He's completely different from before we got married! I can't stand living with him! Could you arrange for me to get a divorce?"
St. Peter is now a little annoyed. He says "It took me three months to find a priest up here to marry you! Do you realize how long it will take me to find a lawyer?" [ed. note: I think "Saint" Peter's first name was Simon, as in Simon Peter. Did Simon have a middle name? By what nickname did we call him back then, or was "Saint" generally accepted? Did the Hudson Chapter have a zeroeth pledge class? You raise more questions than you answer sometimes, Harry! ;-)]
- Vignette #283: (from Harry)
Discussion of middle names: Don Miller is credited with the nickname: "A. Wayne Shydecker". It is my recollection that there was a member of an earlier era, he may have been a corresponding secretary, who signed his name to letters "A. Wayne Shydecker". It got to be thought of as an elegant, or maybe pompous, way to refer to yourself. For a while we took to calling each other, for example: D. Wayne Miller, R. Neal Egolf, J. Andrew Szabo, etc.
I was H. Eugene Kautz, but that was soon changed to my nickname: H. Eugene Ka-Nauptz. That was soon sang as the first line to a song "H.Eugene Ka-Nauptz". Others were so fitted to the first line of that song such as: "Yackety-yackety Yax", or "Douglas Oreon Pick". [Pick?, hmm, I wonder where that came from?] We also used it on Print Shop people such as "Clare Consuelo Coine" - whose full name fit that song just right. [ed note: Well, we picked up Don Miller's middle name in that, and that was one that Paul Meiland and I were struggling with. We came up with "Lee" as Don's middle name and were pretty far off, it seems.]
- Vignette #284: (from Joe R)
As those of you who are on my mailing list know, I sent out a “feeler” asking whether I should post a speech given by Charlton Heston in Harry’s Place. The speech was quite long and so I was concerned about adding lengthy discourses, oftentimes referred to as spam, to a site kept abstemious and pure (lies, lies, lies, I know!)—but with exactly the right smattering of chit-chat or “cross-talk,” as we call it in my AA meetings. Heston’s speech was the one he gave to the Harvard Forum a year ago, and I had no idea just how many of you (and everyone else, it seems) had read it—and, until this week, I honestly hadn’t read it.
Keep in mind that I was out-of-country (Europe and the Middle East) for eighteen years prior to coming to Seattle and am really “out of it” as regards politics, movies of the 80s and 90s, modern rock music, whatever . . . essentially anything that happened during those eighteen years. I’m still getting used to the message-taking machine on my telephone and (totally unnecessary—and scary) airbags stuffed somewhere in the steering column of my car.
Well anyway, the message I sent out got some interesting replies. First, and surprisingly so, I received five (count ’em!) replies! It appears that Heston’s speech struck a chord. And even more surprisingly, five out of five of you guys are essentially conservative Libertarian. Adding me in makes that six out of six. Is that coincidence, or is there something about Alpha Delta Phi Hudson Chapter’s experiences that makes this so? My understanding is that the percentage of Libertarians in the general population is quite low--less than 5%, I'm told.
But even so, not all of you voted and the vote came down to two to two (a tie) and it seemed on that basis—and good common sense (thank you , Jim)—that it best not to post the speech, nor your replies—unless you so desire for me to do so—and so inform me. [Later: We now have six responses, plus one of you sent a clarification of your feelings on the issue of adding Heston's speech to Harry's Place. It's now 4 - 2 against sullying Harry's Place with lengthy and unnecessary political chatter.] Harry's Place is saved! Thank you for your interest and fear not about any of your comments being posted here or anywhere.
Rather, if you send me an email saying that it’s all right, I will set up a separate page with both Heston’s speech and your commentary—rather long itself in most cases, and provide a link to that page in some obscure spot in Harry’s Place—maybe a “hidden” link that I can inform you all of via email. Of course, I won't even post anything you might write--or have written in the past few days--in that place unless you specifically tell me it's all right.
That way, Harry’s Place is kept as abstemious and pure as the Brother after whom it was named, and yet, we can exchange (apparently similar) views on the state of the country, politics, the Democratic party’s insane (proposed) gun laws and . . . which one of you referred to "Khomeinist Christianity" in reference to those holier-than-thou folks who have taken over the Republican Party?
So what do you think? A hidden link is the proposal. It would link to a text page consisting of our chat--as always, referenced only by first name--on the various subjects raised in Heston’s speech, plus any other related (or unrelated) issues not appropriate for placement upon the hallowed ground upon which Harry’s Place stands. Your call. (Oh yes, let me know whether I can post your replies in Harry’s Place or elsewhere.) Needless to say, the Heston speech will be the first "item" on the page.
But certainly a subject that does fit both the intent and established content of Harry's Place is the answer to the question: What in our Hudson Chapter experiences do you guys think might have driven us into so "radical" a political bent as Libertarianism?
- Vignette #285: (from Harry)
I don't know if we are all libertarians. I know we are all of the same age group which makes us more conservative and we don't like the way things are going. Do you remember Dick Feagler? He writes a column in the local paper. He is about our age and has opinions with which many of us identify.
- Vignette #286: (from Jim)
Just a little addendum and observation, not truly a vignette from yesteryear. What a pleasure it is to read notes, vignettes etc. from people (pardon the
snobbery) who are literate. Over my years in business I have gotten tired of reading letters by college graduates that use "to much" rather than "too
much" when necessary or "lose change" instead of "loose change."
Its nice to see a rather lucid (for the most part) and correct usage of English. Twenty years from now it may be Esperanto, or perhaps even Spanish the
way things are going, but for the time being, its nice to read proper English even if we throw in a "fuck" once in a while. [Ed. note: That's right! I find reading these Vignettes a pleasure for the reasons mentioned by Jim Deibel as much as for the memories they evoke. This will be reposted in "Rant and Rave" when I get the chance. Ought to evoke a rant or two, eh?]
- Vignette #287: (from Joe R)
29 March 2000
Okay, okay . . . we’ve had our Spring Break from Harry’s Place. It’s now time to get back to work and dig around between the ears trying to find answers to the questions below—and submitting them for inclusion upon the High Holy Alter of Hudson Chapter Alpha Delts everywhere.
I quote (from a previous email as well as from Vignette 252 on Harry’s Place):
But whatever . . . to get this thing recharged, I have a number of topics that cry out for Vignettes:
1. Hell Week (your own) – most memorable experience during HW would do.
2. Being “rushed” – your very first impression(s) of Alpha Delta Phi
3. Music at the frat house – was Tschaikovsky really preferred over The Beastie Boys, the Beatles or Madonna? Was anyone in the Frat House ever interested in any of the German composers—if there were any?
4. What are some of the stories behind the nicknames we now have accumulated? We have some, and maybe that’s about all we really know. How in hell did Jim Deibel ever get the name “big pecker”? And was Mike Deibel’s . . . uhhh . . forget it.
5. How many hours per week did Douglas Oreon Winter put into creating nicknames?
6. How exactly did the Hudson Chapter (as an active chapter) meet its demise?
7. Did George Szell (Hungarian, according to Brother Joseph Andrew Szabo), the Cleveland Orchestra’s composer in those days, ever make it to becoming the lead drummer for the Rolling Stones or did he just fade away into obscurity? What did happen to him anyway?
8. Just how badly did Kathy Stink stink?
9. I personally would like to see a really serious and nicely written obit on Don Miller, one that highlighted his contributions to the chapter. He was one of the very few persons whom I believe put his heart and soul into the Chapter and helped it have the revival from which we all benefited.
10. Didn’t we have a sort of “mascot” in the form of a fictitious name who represented the chapter, or perhaps the entire A.D.Phi?
11. What about your most memorable class at WRU? It might be one that you flunked or dropped out of—for me, it was a “D”—although I surely dropped and subsequently failed more than one—or maybe one you excelled at.
12. What was our most notable athletic achievement? (Different ones of you might have different answers on this one.)
Well that’s a dozen ideas."
To start, you might take a peek at the beginning we have of nicknames in Vignette # 214. Not only are they in error in many cases, but they are woefully incomplete.
But other questions come to mind too.
- Who, among the brothers, ever made it inside Guilford Hall?
- Who were our illustrious “leaders” (Presidents and Vice-presidents) during those marvelous years?
- What exactly was the effect of the lead in the paint on all of us over the years?
- What exactly became of “Barracelli’s House”? (rumors of a restaurant, for example, but no details other than that)
- Did any of you take any videotapes of any of our shenanigans during those, our formative years? I’d dearly like to remember what Kathy Stink looked like back then. I only remember that she was blonde and . . . well, you know.
- Were we all Democrats and flaming liberals back then? Heavens to Betsy!
Well, that’s as good as I can do at this moment, but you might also tell something about yourselves today and through the years. Numbers of children and grandchildren come to mind. What kind or “work” were you engaged in over the years, etc.? You can leave out the numbers of arrests, prostate operations and contested divorces, if you like. I will!
Anyway, to use Harry Kautz’s words, six more questions have been nailed to the church door.
In the bonds
- Vignette #288: (from Jim)
This may sound like nit-picking but..."video tapes"? When in God's name did
you attend college? Did they even have 8 mm film then? Incidentally, the
Barracelli Inn is one of three restaurants in Cleveland that made AAA's
prestigious 4 diamond award. [Ed. note: I remember television at my mother's house in Parma. How were those shows made without a video camera? I'll bet Doug had at least a B/W one and will be sending us all a videotape of a number of sections from back then spliced together. We're old farts, but not that old, for goodness sakes.]
- Vignette #289: (from Harry)
I am remembering a cook we had during the 1665 East 117th St. years.
[I think she was hired during my tenure as steward. Not a happy memory for me. I lost track of the bills and ultimately bankrupted the steward's account. At one business meeting Dan Ehlert recalled an earlier steward who had much the same experience. Dan said that steward insisted on being steward the next year and managed to straighten out affairs. I suppose that was meant as a hint to me. I chose to ignore it. I left it to Joe Szabo to take over the job. He did indeed straighten out the steward affairs. With much sarcasm I might add.]
But this is about the cook. The first day she took one look at us and said she was bringing in her daughter the next day. The purpose was, I'm sure, to find her a college boy friend and hopefully a rich husband. The next day I am afraid I must report the lass was, alas, totally ignored. She wasn't really bad looking, but she was very shy. The cook really was annoyed at us. I don't remember if she remained for the Joe Szabo rebuilding period. I know she was hard to deal with after that.
My tenure was also the time Al Hauser was renting an infrared oven and selling hot sandwiches. In desperation, for a period of time I was buying Al's sandwiches to serve at lunch.
So you see, what with the cook's daughter and Al Hauser's infrared oven, I didn't have it all that easy.
- Vignette #290: (from Jim)
Joe...just between you and me...Video cameras in the 50's & 60's were as big
as a rather large suitcase and had to sit on tripods or similar things. [Ed. Note: Jim gave me permission to post this after I emailed a request to him to do so. More on that below.]
Betamax (Sony) was invented in the 80's (video tape) when the video tape wars
came out...VHS or Betamax? VHS won in a landslide and most people born after
1980 never even heard of Betamax much less have seen one. Video tapes have
been around for a while, but home consumption kinds have only been around a
relatively short time...believe it or not (to quote Ripley).
Do you realize that we have had more conversations (albeit in writing) in the
8 months or so since the "reunion" than we had the whole time we were in
college? How's that for trivia?
- Vignette #291: (from Joe R)
Yes, the silliness of it all just hit me as I began to think carefully about the history of video cameras. And yes, I also agree with you that we are having more "conversation" now than all told in the three or for years at Western Reserve. I think it tells me that we are all--or surely most of us--just a little more mature (albeit older) in our sixties than we were in our twenties.
I think this exchange belongs in Harry's Place, but not unless you say, "okay!"
- Vignette #292: (from Jim)
As they used to say in the Corps: Go for it, Mr. Dumbjohn!
- Vignette #293: (from Joe R)
That last Vignette is only included because it brings up a question. Were you in the Marine Corps, Jim? I'm embarrassed to say that I don't know. I'm also mildly embarrassed that I spent my time in Nam primarily in the basement of the Headquarters Building at Tan Son Nhut Air base or in the bars downtown doing things that we don't talk about in Harry's Place. (I guarantee that I was well out of harm's way!)
I was always very, very impressed by the Marine Corps, but knew that I wasn't anything like the kind of men that I would meet on Le Loi Street when they would get a rare couple of days out of the bush. They were real men--and America is what it is thanks to guys like them. This probably belongs in "Rants and Raves," but it seems to me that America has forgotten men like those whom the marines epitomize.
"Don't ask, don't tell!" Sheesh!
Sorry, but I got carried away. By the way, who is "Mr. Dumbjohn"?
Uh oh! It occurs to me that I may have just offended some among you who may be gay, and I certainly didn't intent that! Just click on "Harry" below to go to "Rant and Rave" where I will attempt to clarify what I just keyed in.
- Vignette #294: (from Harry)
[Ed. Note: having spent nearly the past decade (ending in October, 1998) in the Middle East, I enjoyed this politically incorrect story by Harry Kautz and decided to shove it here--accessible to "Rant and Rave"--but located in the homey atmosphere of Harry's Place.]
(from Harry) There was this man walking down a street at night in Belfast, North Ireland. As he passed a dark alley an arm came out and pulled him in. A knife was held at his throat and a voice said: "What are ye, Protestant or Catholic?!!"
Knowing that his life depended on his answer he thought a minute and then said: "I'm Jewish!".
The voice said: "Ah, sure in I'm the luckiest Arab in all of Belfast!"
- Vignette #295: (from Joe R)
Harry Kautz's story about how he conducted symphonies in front of Doug Winter's hi-fi -- and now works with high-tech electronics at NASA brings up a question: What would one call such a person?
Why, a "semiconductor," of course! ;)
- Vignette #296: (from R. Stanley Snowflake)
I think I've finally caught up on all the items on Harry's Place and here are a few responses your can add:
- As of April, 1957 chapter officers were Don Miller, President, Harry Kautz, Vice-President, Jim Deibel, Treasurer, Bob Novak, Recording Secretary, Joe Ryan, Corresponding Secretary.
- I have absolutely no recollection where the nickname "snowflake" came from. I totally recollect where my other nickname came from!
- The only thing I can remember about the music played in the house was an album called "Halls of Ivy" with a choral group singing all the popular college songs.
- John Whitehorn. John and I were the last two to go through hell week at the old house. On the afternoon of the last day , someone came upstairs to tell John that he should go home that they got a call that his grandmother had died. I'll never forget John charging into the room where I was cleaning the floor and shouting in an ecstatic voice "My grandmother died, I can go home!" That night Dan Ehlert came to tell me that hell week was over. He took me up to a Big Boy restaurant and I remember eating two Big Boy sandwiches I was so hungry. I don't think Whitehorn was ever inducted but I don't remember why. I don't think John's grades were too good and he may have not returned in the Fall. We used to call him "Horny John Whitehorn" and sometimes "White Johnhorn".
- Who is Ed Proctor?
I'll try and come up with something for the Rant & Rave page soon.
- Vignette #297: (from Jim)
[Ed. Note: Passed by email to Oreon and myself but of concern to us all, I know. Certainly my prayers are with Dave and his family right now. Did Dave graduate before the chapter went inactive?]
(from Jim) A bit of a sad not at our last dinner (Thursday, April 20) when we found out that Dave Wenger developed a brain tumor, and had been in a coma for a couple of weeks at Cleveland Clinic. There was a biopsy performed and the results were supposed to be in yesterday. He has been transferred to a "holding" hospital in Akron pending the outcome of the biopsy. It has already been determined to be inoperable, and depending on whether or not it is malignant will determine the course of treatment, if any, that will be performed. I will try and keep you current. Al Leonetti is the closest to Dave and that's where my information comes from.
- Vignette #298: (from Oreon)
[Ed. Note: This is being posted on 3 May 2000 soon after arriving by email from Oreon.]
Some of you may know about the information I am sending, some may not. I've taken this "broadcast" approach to inform you about two brothers, who were both at the reunion lst August, that are not currently doing very well:
1. Those of you in Cleveland may know about Dave Wenger (Hudson '64) who is currently parlyzed with an inoperable brain tumor. Jim and Mike Deibel are visiting him in the hospital as I write this, and I [Oreon] will update you on this when I know more.
2. Those of you from the "older generation" of Alpha Delts probably know
Steve North (Hudson '61) better. I talked to Steve last night to tell him about Dave Wenger, and he informed me that his cancer has returned, and he
is currently undergoing a stiff round of chemotherapy and steriod treatments.
(from Joe R) My prayers are added to those of the rest of you for both Dave and Steve. I'll wait a couple of days before calling Steve whom I remember as one nutty and fun guy. I met Dave at the reunion--or so I'm told--which I have to add because it seemed as though I really "knew" him from somewhere back then. Neat guy! I'm one of those strange old-fashioned folks who truly believes in miracles and will ask my concept of God to get onto the case right away.
- Vignette #299: (from Harry)
[Ed. note: This was a follow-up some confusion relative to an alert sent out by Harry Kautz regarding some sort of Klingon Virus that was being sent through the mails in large blue envelopes. It was either that or another alert wherein an HIV virus was somehow loaded into hypodermic needles where the needles were taped to the handles of gas pumps in Ohio.]
(from Harry) All this Klingon stuff. Well, I got that Forwarded warning from my step granddaughter who also works here at NASA Glenn RC. (Sweet young thing, but imagine, I have a step granddaughter who works where I do. You'd think I was getting old or something.)
Of course she had had this warning forwarded to her. (These virus warnings are spreading like viruses.) About an hour after sending me this she forwarded to me another notice that said that this thing is all "probably" a joke. Well, when I first got the original notice it seemed like maybe someone was too panicked. But I figured what the heck, I might as well panic everyone I know too.
When I read the second notice I thought it was less convincing than the first. So now I am more worried about the first than I was before. Does any of this make sense?
Your encounter with the woman student in the bad mood was probably a big surprise. [Ed. note: referencing a student of mine who leaped up and stormed out of the classroom stating that she had better things to do!] But I suppose when we get as old as we are, we get to see everything. Getting older and seeing all these things is the better alternative as I am sure you realize.
At the recent A D Phi dinner they had asked me to bring some NASA secrets but unfortunately I lost them on the way over. (Not easy to do since the restaurant, the "100th Bomb Group" is practically across the street from NASA.) They must have fallen out on Brook Park Road. I hope they got ground up under car tires. I'd hate for them to fall into enemy hands. (Of course with Bill Clinton doing all this traveling it's hard to know just what enemy hands are). The "100th Bomb Group" , as you might guess, has a WW II atmosphere with cannons, jeeps, a neat P 51 Mustang, and Vera Lynn singing "White Cliffs of Dover", and stuff like that. I had the C-rations and two glasses of liberated wine. Let me know if the Klingons make it to Seattle. I sent them in that direction. I can't find out on Frazier because that's all reruns now.
- Vignette #300: (from Jim) [Date stamp: 28 April 2000]
If you haven't already been informed, Dave Wenger died yesterday and will be buried Friday. I know that Bob and Joe didn't go to school with him, but did meet him at the reunion.
- Vignette #301 [V3C* although the US Naval Observatory reminds us that the Third Centevignetennium has not yet begun since we didn't have a Vignette #0.]: (from Harry)
The subject line means "of course" you can publish my last bulletin. I really don't have anything more from the last dinner at this time except - did you know that Mike Deibel is an artist, and that a painting of his, a B-17 bomber in flight, hangs in the 100th Bomb Group restaurant? Well it does. Jim Deibel pointed it out to me when we went in. It is really quite good.
- Vignette #302 [We are now into the real V3C]: (from Joe R)
I shoved a load of spam into the Rant and Rave Page to follow up on some recent emails between Jim Deibel and me. But so as to legitimately use a Vignette Number, one memory that I do have about both the house on E 117th Street and the place on Blowfarter: When I had to use the toilet, I seldom had to flush twice like I've had to do regularly since returning to America eighteen months ago. Couldn't you guys have at least protected the toilets from the hands of the bureaucrats while I was off doing my . . . uhhhh . . . my thing? A measly 1.6 gallons simply doesn't hack it guys.
- Vignette #303 (from Oreon)
Correction to vignette #252: It wasn't "Kathy Stink", it was "Sandy Stink". Her name was Sandy Moyes. Don Ralph introduced her to the frat. She was absolutely gorgeous! She had reddish hair in a twist, was tall and stately, and a face like Helen of Troy. She was a ticket agent for Air Canada, and her name "Sandy Stink" came from her European bathing habits. I only went out with her once, and I remember how the smell didn't matter at all. I think she was first generation American.
- Vignette #304 (from Oreon)
Another dynamite girl was "Virginia Kennick" or "Jinx". Mike Deibel remembers her well from the print shop. I took her to an IFC dance, and she was dancing in a very uninhibited way. She stopped the show. Tom Neff used to refer to "when she got her machinery moving". She was really stacked, fun, pretty, with blond hair cut like the (early) Barbra Streisand look.
- Vignette #305 (from Joe R)
You're right! Douglas Oreon Winter's memory even challenges Jim Deibel's. It always challenged mine. The name, Kathy Stink is another crossed memory of mine. I remembered so well how much Kathy Stankovich stunk that I changed "Sandy Stink" to "Kathy Stink" in my deranged memories of times past. Of course, I can only guess why Kathy Stankovich stunk so much, especially in the back seat of my old Ford sedan. And thanks, Oreon, for bringing up the John Rocker story. My views on what I think of how the media and the Boston Braves treated him are on the Rant and Rave page.
- Vignette #306 (from Jim) [Date stamp of 11 September 2000]
I have some sad news to pass along. I talked with Doug Winter this evening. I hadn't heard from him for a while and he informed me that his cancer (he had colon cancer a few years back) had apparently spread to his liver. At the time of his original operation, they thought he was free and clear but such was not the case.
On a happier note, he remarried Elaine and she is helping him to go through this time and it looks like the project he has worked upon for so many years has come to fruition.
He said the doctors said he had anywhere from nine months to nine years. He is going through chemotherapy now and is spending his time partly in Knoxville (where Elaine lives) and the cancer center in Atlanta where he gets his treatments.
- Vignette #306 (from Joe R.) [Date stamp of 26 April 2001]
[Lest we forget . . .]
Today, April 26, marks the 175th anniversary of the ceremony in the village
of Hudson, Ohio where the trustees of the newly chartered Western Reserve
College laid the cornerstone of the college's first building.
The first of a series of events celebrating the 175th anniversary will take
place on Saturday, April 28 with the running of the Hudson Relay. The
Hudson Relay is the longest standing tradition at CWRU having been established in
1911. For more information about the race and it's history click here:
CWRU Web Page
Among other events to be held will be a tour this fall of the campus of
Western Reserve Academy, the institution which now occupies the original site
of Western Reserve College, examining buildings that were part of Western
I hope you will join in celebrating this milestone in university history.
[Ed. Note: Missing will be the second frat fouse from the corner on Bellflower Road.]
- Vignette #307 (from R. Stanley N.) [Date stamp of 8 September 2001]
Last night we had our monthly Alpha Delt dinner at a restaurant on the lakefront downtown. Doug Winter was in town for his Parma high school reunion and we ended up with 12 at the dinner. Doug had promised a surprise at the restaurant and who walks in with him but "Petrovich" himself, Dave Uscheek, who most of us hadn't seen in over 40 years. We had a great time dredging up some old memories with Tom Neff, Nick Romito, Jim
Deibel, Harry Kautz along with the other guys. During the meal Doug called Steve North
and passed the phone around so we could talk to Steve. One of the things we remembered was the time you and I visited Steve at his home in Teaneck, NJ. I didn't remember much about the trip except we stayed at his house and he took us into Manhatten and we ended up at some German restaurant. Do you [Joe R.] remember the trip anymore? [Ed. Note: Nope, not a whole lot. But I love German food even today.]
A lot of Mondays this year Deibel, Romito , Zychowski and I [R. Stanley N.] have been playing golf around the area. We call it the Alpha Delta Phi Golf Team, Senior Division!